bananee's Journal

gaining started for real this time
Oct 14 2008 10:01

and Im not stopping it.

1,600 is my target every single day.

I estimate an amount of .2 a day, which will take me to a pound a week.

Im getting mentaly prepared for this and I think that even though Ill prolly be a bit depressed (or a lot) I will wake up each morning , see that number, but relax...because I know its coming. Im up today .2 from yesterday, so tomorrow I should see another .2 gain.

By the end of next week I should be around 110 pounds.

ITs been long since Ive been there, and I dont know where the gainings will stop.

I can only pray that it wont spiral out of control, and stop at 115 (my goal weight for recovery).

That has been my weight all my life (until last year when the ED started), so Im hoping my body stops there because it is its "comfort zone".

Im keeping my fingers crossed.

I am naturaly slim, and I have to be thankful for that...today Im also calling my doctor to tell her that I want to run some tests just to check how my insulin levels are doing (PCOS) ..check for levels of male hormones (which may also be causing weight gain) and also my thyroid ( I want to make sure its not hypo)

Well wish me luck. Im on the right road this time around and even though Im scared shitless, Im building up the courage.

these few weeks ahead Ill be needing all the support I need.

I can do this I know this...

so nervous...