bananee's Journal

maintained
Oct 07 2008 10:18

the same weight as yesterday, 107. so not bad :) I know that my weight has gone up 2 pounds these past 2 weeks because I have binged lol but Im taking that under control for now, because I know that by november my weight will go up (bday vacation week). And then some at xmass lol holidays can be such a drag on weight and trends....but its ok, because everyone pretty much gains on holidays...there's plenty of time to lose that weight next year before getting into that bikini again. Best of all lose it HEALTHILY, just to avoid problems later (god If I only did this since a very beginning I wouldn tbe here right now, im so damn stupid).

1 pound a week is the healthy way to lose, 2 pounds is already a bit worrysome....so I gotta keep that in mind...Ill aim for 1.5 pounds a week next year....or 1 pound at the least....any sort of weight loss for me its gonan work lol we'll see what happens.

Right now I gotta keep myself motivated to work out, at least strength training! so today for sure, Im doing, 10 minutes of a short cardio session, 10 minutes on my arms (Strength), 10 minutes core workout, and 10 minutes legs. So that's 40 minutes, Great :) if I can ill add another core workout of another 10 minutes or so making it a good 50 minutes. Then Ill up my calories today (more than yesterday) to make sure Im properly feeding myself.

I feel like I do things right now, or at least Im trying to so hard. I look at myself in the mirror and instead of finding flaws I bring a smile about and say to myself a thousand times a day "you are perfect just they way you are"...and it works most of the times...somdays when I feel down, I guess I believe it half way lol but its better than before...I used to hate myself no matter how thin I was....it was not until I got to 98 pounds that I stopped hating me..and thats AWFUL...98 lbs , ew ew ew ew....skin and bones, how nasty.

I do still think that 105 was the perfect weight ,my ED says so...and I believe it, but I fight it and I say "NO....my perfect range is 108-110!!!!!" I look healthy and not TOO skinny...I just need to workout and get fitter at this weight, thats it! ....grr

anyway....its so tough..but I know I can do this.

here goes to me again, and keeping my chin up through this....

-xo