abby_m's Journal

Depression and food
Oct 15 2008 14:14

My husband left for Iraq 8 days ago. I vowed that I would lose 65 pounds while he's gone. I have one year to do it. I know I can. But the depression is getting in the way!

I try to keep my spirits up, and I stick to my 1350 calories during the day. But then when night comes, and I have to face going upstairs to an empty bed, I fall into temptations.... and I'll eat anything. Just sit in bed and eat it. I need to break the cycle, but I'm finding it so difficult. I try to be strong, and then I just start thinking, "What the hell? I'm depressed damnit! I deserve a break!" And then I break down and eat.

And there is always something to eat, because when I'm at the store I get depressed and end up buying muffins, or cake, or cookies, or anything to make me feel better. I know that with time I'll pull out of this depression, but in the mean time I don't want to gain more weight.

All this is coupled with the fact that I have so many responsibilities... I have 5 children to raise, 100+ families to help as our Family Readiness Group Leader, and all of my other volunteer work. Throw in the gloomy weather we're having and I just don't feel like functioning at all.