Okay proper Who I am

I'm Shannon, nearly 19 years old, started on here when I was 17 and havent shifted a lb really. I am a fairweather dieter. Mainly because I feel like a sell out. Like I'm selling out all my ideals of big being beautiful. But it is, just not on me! I'm really unhealthy and I'll hide behind that godammit! No seriously I have to get away from that idea that I'm selling out, I can stil be beautiful and lose weight, I know it sounds backwards but...oh well.

As You may be aware, I don't take myself too seriously except that I do I'm just one of those obnoxious people who think theyre really funny and laid back when they aren't. I'm a big single girl at 5"2 and weighing in at a catastrophic 182 lbs! When I try to lose weight it takes over my life and I hate that. But its important now.

Other than my revolving door dieting I enjoy singing, sewing, writing, acting, chillin with my mum and my friends, drinking, all the usual childhood games. I can't wait to lose weight because as I do i Intend to improve on my sewing skills and I can act as my own tailor :) And I want to make myself a kick ass dress as a present for losing an eventual 60lbs

Okay, My reasons

I'm fat,

I want to go beyond "fat parts" in drama

I want to look good in photos

My sense of self worth is tied up in body image, I genuinely belive that the thinner me is classier, less slutty, funnier, easier to like and generally a more awesome person

My Goals

To do my exercise tape 3 times a week and try to finish it!

to be 10lbs lighter by september

to be 40 lbs lighter by this time next year

to be 60 lbs lighter before I graduate

This is the long haul

My rewards (yaaaay)

10lbs - I'm gonna take in something I love so I wont be tempted to regain - I have lost the weight but am yet to alter my clothing, Thats on the to do list.

Buy material

20lbs ( as above) a haircut, short, molly sue in antm style

40lbs (as above again, with the clothes i mean) Yhis was going to be the tatoo but I've decided to get that at the end...If anyone has any suggestions for a 40lb reward then let me know ( possibly something costing 40 quid?)

60lbs a new wardrobe of clothes, a dress that I will make, a tatoo to comemorate the new me :)