UPDATE:  I've gained up to around 120 and I'm sticking here.  I gained mostly on not so great food, so now I'm trying to eat healthier and maintain around 120, but not weigh myself very often.  We'll see how it goes.  I'm getting those fat feelings again so I hope I can get rid of them.

I lost over 30 pounds between July and December of 2007. I was doing it the healthy way at first, but then started restricting too much. I guess it was some sort of disordered eating, not really sure. Now I really can't even remember that time and don't know what was going through my head.  It's such a blurr, it's very strange. I don't really know what my goal is right now.  I was supposed to gain but couldn't convince myself to do it so right now I'm maintaining 111-112 pounds.  It's not a realistic longtime goal but I can't seem to do any better than that.  At least I stopped losing, and I feel great and really healthy.  I eat between 1600-1800 calories on sedentary days, usually 1800-2000 if I exercise (which is unfortunately really rare!)  I would love to start doing more exercise!  That's my goal for the summer.  Plus I'll get to eat more to maintain which is always great!