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| ~~Bingers Anonymous~~ |  tinytot |
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| #141 |  echokitty32 |
Oct 01 2006 18:55 |
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Hi everyone. This is my first time dropping into this ( or any forum )
Im so glad this one exists, Im one of those people that never knew I have an eating disorder. When I made the realization I started to take stock of myself, why I do it, what motivates me to punish myself with food. And yes I mean punish. What other reason do I have for keeping myself in this overweight unhealthy state? For some reason I blame myself for the things others have done to me in the past...but I digress. The real reason I popped in here today was to tell everyone of a great book I discovered. Its helped me to stay on the right track for 4 days now. The same length of time Ive been reading it. Its called "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind". Its really good at explaining why we do the things we do. (Oh, and the author is Dr. Joseph Murphy) The title probably sounds hokey, but the premise is simple. Our minds are very powerful weapons and if we dont use them properly we can do great harm to ourselves. I hope someone else will find it as helpful as I do. |
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| #142 | lizzlebizzle |
Oct 01 2006 20:33 |
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echo, that book sounds really good. I might have to check it out. Welcome aboard!
rdlm, how were your ribs??? I was salivating at the thought...hahaha. I live alone, too, and it's definitely a double-edged sword. Sundays are hard. I've found myself wanting to eat to avoid doing other things, like studying. But at the same time, I know my binge compulsions stem DIRECTLY from stress levels. During the summer, I didn't have as hard of a time controlling myself, or at least that's how it seems, and I think it has to do with stress. Since school's started, though....hmph. So. I threw out all my chocolate the other day. Yay for me, right? But yesterday I went to the mall. Didn't end up buying anything...except....a box of dark chocolates from Godiva. My goal is to have only ONE per day. I'm trying desperately to keep my cravings at bay. I've tried treating myself every day before, but then it doesn't feel like it's special anymore. And I've also tried one treat day per week, but then I end up binging!!! Argh!!! What do you guys do? lizzle |
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| #143 | united2gether |
Oct 01 2006 22:40 |
| #144 | rdlm1000 |
Oct 02 2006 00:22 |
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Ribs were o-kay, but when I realized how many calories were in them, they lost the appeal. I only had 2. I trimmed alot of the fat before I cooked them. Now I have like 10 left and I don't want to eat them because they were good, but not worth the calories. I ended up having a couple of glasses of wine, which according to this site isn't as bad as I thought.
It's weird, when my life feels o-kay, I could care less about sweets or food really. I'm fine with eating good stuff and healthy portions. When I'm stressed, sad, angry, or any negative emotion, I just want to stuff my face. I'm having a bad day today, and I can feel the binge burn starting. My boyfriend is here right now, but if he leaves, I have a feeling it will be on. He is very distracted and not really being there with me, so I feel lonley and uncomfortable. I just want to eat!!! |
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| #145 | kayque |
Oct 02 2006 00:26 |
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Lizzle, I agree with you. Sundays are very hard to me. One being it's the weekend and I don't have school and practice to distract me and two being my parents are home and it's kinda like family day and we all go out and eat. My mom cooks food and I don't really pay attention to what I put into my mouth on Sundays, which is never a good thing. And as you can already assume, today, Sunday, was not a good day for me. I started off with cookies for breakfast and rounded off with some fat pieces of chocolate. I honestly feel sick to my stomach. I always do, right after I binge or eat something that's unhealthy for me. After I eat, say, fish with spinach I feel great because I know I'm doing the right thing. But after a day like today, it's going to take all week for me to put this weight off. Not to mention, I didn't run today or hit the gym like I normally do. I think I'm gonna have to starve myself. Haha, joke. Though there were times I've contemplated that thought seriously. But I'm rambling. I know exactly how you feel Lizzle, about the stress and school and whatnot. Since school has started, I haven't lost the weight I need to lose. I feel like I've wasted my time. Cross country is ending soon, what is my excuse to work out going to be? Eek!
When I go out, I can control me buying food. It's having the food within my reach and able to eat it that my's problem. I won't buy the chocolate but if the chocolate is right in front of me, I'm going to eat it. I think I can handle going off to college next year and not gain the dreaded "Freshman 15" because 1.) I can control me not buying junk food 2.) I can pick the salad over the cheeseburger and 3.) I won't have a dorm full of food like I did a house full of food. If I happen to have junk food stashed away and wanted to control myself, I can simply throw it out. I can't throw away food in my house, my mother would kill me. Heh. I hate that I'm going to say this but.. tomorrow I shall restart my diet. I don't even know why I call it a diet anymore. Have I been on a diet for the past two months? I think not. I think I made myself believe that I was to make myself feel better which in turn makes me feel worse because I ate everything on this "diet." I think tomorrow, I will try try try to be in control of what I eat. I hate what this "diet" has turned me into. Everyday, it's "what am I going to eat" and "what am I going to do to not overeat." This "diet" was suppose to be what gave me control but in reality, it has taken control of me and I hate that. I'm taking my control back. I'm just afraid that I have given it too much control and it has too much power over me. I'm too weak. All my willpower and determination was put into this "diet" and it backfired on me. Yeah, life kinda sucks for me right now. I have too much going on and you know when you have so much to do, you kinda just do.. nothing? On another note, this is off topic but I posted this at The Lounge but no one gave me a reply. Spirit day is Friday and I'm making a shirt for it. I'm a senior and I want to put a catchy and witty phrase/saying on my t-shirt, any ideas? Some examples are: "Kiss me, I'm a senior!" and "Don't hate us cause you ain't us" and "Don't hate us cause we're seniors, hate us cause you're not" to give you some ideas of what kinda sayings I wanted to come up with. |
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| #146 | rdlm1000 |
Oct 02 2006 06:12 |
| So, I feel crappy. My guy and I went bowling and then we came home. He left and i feel lonely. At the bowling ally I had 3 peices of pizza and 2 margaritas. I don't consider it a binge beacause I made a choice. A binge to me is when I hunker down and eat the whole pizza and pint of ice cream in hiding. I only had a 1/2 cup of cereal and 1/2 cup of milk with it, so I probably am still under or at least at my calories for the day. I don't think I went over. I'll go to the log after this and see what the damage is. If Taco Bell was open I think I would be binging. I guess I should thank God for the little miracles. See I'm in Ca and pot is practically legal. I really would like to smoke right now and forget about how uncomfortable I feel, but if I do, I will eat. I guess I just need to feel this and go through it. I'm not a big smoker or anything, it's just whenever I get super sad, I want to just disapear. I wish I wouldn't have had those margaritas. I don't drink, but my boyfriend has been tense, so I thought it would help us relax. Yea, alcohol is a depressant. They don't lie. I'm such a light weight that the 2 drinks made me a mess. 1st I was happy and having a good time, then I was crying and being a baby. Now it's worn off, but I feel icky. Arugghh. Well, tomorrow I get acupuncture so hopefully it will pull me up. By the way, acupuncture rocks for depression and anxiety. If any of you have ever considered it, do it. Alright, well I hope you all don't think I'm a freak. I feel like I just laid it all out. I guess I just needed to get it out. Sunday's suck uh? | ||
| #147 | jennelaw |
Oct 02 2006 14:23 |
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Okay, it's Monday and it sucks. We did have a great weekend. I baked a cheesecake for my best friend before she moves and I only had one piece. I worked around the house a lot and did a lot of shopping this week and burned off major calories with lugging this stupid cast around. Hubby and I went out for our anniversary last night (it's actually today....) and went to the Melting Pot. Food was excellent and really enjoyed it, had planned the extra calories into my day. Although, weird note, the glass of wine apparently caused a mild reaction with the medications I'm on because I broke out in hives a couple hours later????
So, you might be asking, what in the world is the problem? Well, to start with I have been a lot more faithful about my eating, water consumption, etc. The scale is now up 4 pounds. HUH????? Also, the big doctor appointment is tomorrow and I am so stressed that I am on the verge of a panic attack since I woke up this morning. I am sitting at my desk wondering how long until lunch so I can self-medicate and knowing that I'm going to hate myself if I do that and then be even more stressed out because I binged on top of everything else!!!! HELP! |
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| #148 | united2gether |
Oct 02 2006 17:11 |
| #149 | rdlm1000 |
Oct 02 2006 17:36 |
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Jen, you could be developing an allergy to wine. I know a few people who get an allergy to wine out of nowhere. Mostly red. It's the tannins. Or did you have any shell fish in your mix, another one that can develop out of nowhere. My brother loves fish and out of nowhere in his 20's he got hives and had a big reaction. Also, even if you didn't over eat, Melting Pot is very rich. I'm sure it would cause a little water retention. You know what I do now is if I have a rich meal, I do not weigh myself for 2 days after. I figure if it's still there after a couple of days, I'll deal with it, but why feel crappy for water. Sometimes I even give the scale the finger when I walk by!
Feeling better today. I hope we all have a good week. |
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| #150 | kalkette |
Oct 02 2006 18:00 |
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Good Morning!
I am stressed this week because we are going on a trip this weekend. I know this is going to be a major binge trigger. I am doing okay so far and it's almost lunchtime so I'm hoping to keep it up today. Oh, by the way, I got these cookies for my husband because he really wanted them. They are chips ahoy chocolate chip with chocolate stripes. He ate a bunch and last night I had two. Then I read the nutritional information. One cookie and they are not very big. Has 6 grams of fat and 110 calories. So not worth it to me!!! I'm so upset I had those two. I don't want to eat any more. I will not, I will not, I will not. |
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| #151 | jmmrm |
Oct 02 2006 18:58 |
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hello ladies, sorry to hear some of you are having stress in your lives, it makes it all the harder with the NO eating. but you are talking about it, getting it off your minds, and dealing. i believe to talk things out on our thread is most helpful. i enjoy reading all your posts.
i had a bad week last week, not really sure why, kind of bored i guess. yesterday was better, although i still went over my limit. but today is a new day, a new week, & i am going to get up & dusted off (as united would tell me) & get the program rolling again. i believe, at least for me, we all have those bad times which may last a day or a week, but we all have the knowledge & smarts to get motivated again. so its a new week - lets roll. my goal for this week is to stay under my limit for the whole week. when those candy bars call to me i will cover my ears, run around in circles, do jumping jacks, but i will not respond to their calling. they can sit there on the shelf by themselves until a customer comes in to buy them. ladies, thanks for being there & sharing. you all are my much needed support. good luck to everyone for this week. |
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| #152 | lizzlebizzle |
Oct 02 2006 19:11 |
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The Melting Pot is SO good, but way salty. Your water retention is definitely coming from sodium!!!!
Have a great Monday, guys. Today marks my 10th binge-free day. Hoping to stick to it. :) lizzle |
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| #153 | rdlm1000 |
Oct 02 2006 23:57 |
| So today is my week of no binging. Does anyone else feel a panic when they stop. I'm not hungry, I don't want any food, but I feel like I'm missing my friend or something. Today is the day I would do it. Monday's I'm off, my boyfriends gone and I get acupuncture so everyone knows not to bother me. (acupuncture makes you very relaxed) So now would be the time I would start planning what I want. Around 4:30 I would go and get my food. I'd get back around 5. I would turn on old re-runs of Rosanne and I would begin the binge. I would eat untill about 6:30 and then pass out in a food coma. Come to in time to watch Trading spouses and perhaps eat some more. To prepare for this, I would starve all day. So here I am, just had a great lunch with a little treat, and I'm feeling weird because I'm not going to binge. It's like all week was fine, but today is a habit. A gift I give myself. I know it's not a gift. I'm hurting myself, but it feels like a mini vactation when I do it. I feel bummed that I'm not going to, and part of me wants to. I don't think I will because I really am full from lunch. It seems a lot of you consider your binges are when you eat too much of something. Do any of you do the ritual? If so, how do you feel when you give it up? I mean I really feel a little freaked because I feel like I'm loseing something. | ||
| #154 | xuraiya |
Oct 03 2006 00:53 |
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WOW.
worst. Weekend. Ever. This one takes the cake (literally). I just spent this weekend visiting Swarthmore College (just got back today), where they apparently adhere to the philosophy of "The way to somone's heart is through their stomach." They fed us nonstop. Every single hour, we had a different activity with a different type of food. And then there was buffet breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And our days went well past midnight, which meant even more hours of eating. And I couldn't say no, to any of it! What is wrong with me? Pizza, cupcakes, candy, cookies, cheese sticks, ice cream, etc. etc. I swear, as we left this weekend, all of us prospective students really felt like we'd gained the Freshman 15 in those three days alone. |
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| #155 | united2gether |
Oct 03 2006 09:21 |
| #156 | kalkette |
Oct 03 2006 17:22 |
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I am doing okay today. I have not binged. I did make a conscious decision to have a couple of cookies with a cup of milk after dinner last night though. I know that over the weekend I underate and I am worried that it will affect my weight loss so I thought I'd have a treat since it's the start of ttom and then maybe it would kick start my metabolism since I was bad on the weekend.
How is everyone else doing? |
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| #157 | kalkette |
Oct 03 2006 17:22 |
| Oops, double posted | ||
| #158 | rdlm1000 |
Oct 03 2006 17:35 |
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Kalkette, good job! It's good to be able to just treat yourself! How much under were you? Be careful to not be hard on yourself. I mean we can't get on ourselves for under eating, and overeating. I you do you are giving yourself a very small window for perfection and that's dangerous!
I got through my monday night freak out and I feel good that I didn't binge. Of course I fought with my boyfriend and realized how atticted I am to the binge, but I've broken this habit before. I can do it again! Where is everyone? |
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| #159 | jmmrm |
Oct 03 2006 21:57 |
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i'm still around & read your post everyday. its cloudy today & a cool breeze. the clouds make me kind a depressed. when i feel depressed all i think about is food. sugar is my downfall. i didn't eat any junk yesterday, but ended up eating too much food. i've really been struggling for the past 5 or 6 days. a little better the past 2 days, but not much. it would take a very little trigger for me to reach for the candy bars.
i'm just gonna try to keep drinking water & more water. i wonder if i ever will be able to look at food as simply food for my body. i wish i could so keep those cravings at bay. everyone have a good day, & keep being strong. i will continue to fight with my sugar cravings. |
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| #160 | kalkette |
Oct 03 2006 22:11 |
| I actually only barely at two meals each day over the weekend. I know I was way under and that's a bad thing. Not only because of starvation mode but also when I do that I tend to go crazy and binge because i'm so hungry when I do get to eat. I am doing okay today. I'm still excited about our trip this weekend but it's getting easier to not freak out about it. Tonight I'm making dinner, then I'm gonna pack and get as much done as I can. Yay! :) | ||