Health & Support

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

Well, I binged last night and then again this morning instead of exercising...now I just want to keep eating and lay in bed all day even though it's so nice outside. i hate that, especially now that i have the whole day left. yuck. and this was supposed to be the beginning of a binge-free month.

I just had a binge and I feel horrible about it.  This is my first time home for a long period of time ever since I lost weight in college.  I already knew that I would be craving things today (being that time of the month) but when I ate up to my maintenance, something else took over.  I ended up having two bowels of dry oatmeal with around 1/4 cup peanut butter in each with soymilk.  At least this time I had oatmeal, not granola, so my calories aren't too horrific.  I just felt terrible.  After that I tried to purge, but throwing up chunky peanut butter is not fun.  Tomorrow I need to get back on track and not undereat like I normally do after a binge.  Help me hold myself accountable for my actions.

I binged today and now I feel completely sick, my stomach is as stretched out as it has ever been, I feel like throwing up, my heart is pounding, and I feel like I am going to die. I just don't get why I keep putting myself through this. I keep making the same mistake over and over again. Half of the stuff I eat during my binges, I don't even want. I just eat them for the sake of eating them, and I can't stop. Ughhhhh Never again, hopefully, but I always say that then BAM it happens again. I don't even care about my weight anymore, I just want to be healthy again.

for those who binge at home, throw out all the trigger foods! don't leave it in the house, it family members must buy it, tell them to hide it away from you.

those who buy foods and secretly binge, think about the money wasted and the calories wasted on you.

it depresses me when i look at other people who can just wake up, have breakfast, leave home, go to work and just socialise and eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full. it's like their life is so much more meaningful spent with friends and family...never having to worry about a stupid number or having to count friggin calories.

they don't have to plan what to eat tomorrow, they don't see the point in worrying about which foods are good and which are bad and their acceptance of their body is what makes them so happy.

life isn't all about being the weight you want to and being able to control your eating, yet we're all sucked into the spiral of binging and purging and over exercising all because we cannot fight this hole inside of us, stop dwelling onto the past and accept ourselves.

why can't i realise this and magically stop binging and being so self absorbed into myself? why why why?

a TON of people actually have to count calories, carbs, numbers, protein, points values, etc- believe me. you are not alone. just like an alcoholic has to do certain things to maintain sobriety, bingers and overeaters have to keep their addiction in check. it probably will always be this way... but bing healthy is a LOT better than the alternative. good luck, honey. i k nwo you can do it. one day, hour. moment- at a time.

kelly

Original Post by lil_t88:

it depresses me when i look at other people who can just wake up, have breakfast, leave home, go to work and just socialise and eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full. it's like their life is so much more meaningful spent with friends and family...never having to worry about a stupid number or having to count friggin calories.

they don't have to plan what to eat tomorrow, they don't see the point in worrying about which foods are good and which are bad and their acceptance of their body is what makes them so happy.

life isn't all about being the weight you want to and being able to control your eating, yet we're all sucked into the spiral of binging and purging and over exercising all because we cannot fight this hole inside of us, stop dwelling onto the past and accept ourselves.

why can't i realise this and magically stop binging and being so self absorbed into myself? why why why?

 i feel exactly the same way. =( seems like i could have written that myself..

i already binged this morning ;(. i hate it. instead of a bowl of oatmeal, i grabbed a box of fiber one and ate and ate, then more cereal, then peanut butter. when will it end? i will hopefully be seeing a therapist soon, so maybe i can finally figure out a way to separate myself from this disorder.

sorry to hear that you had a rough morning..i too am feeling not so great this morning..last nite i had a bigger binge than ive had in a while.  im pretty sure it had to do with the two glasses of wine but i feel just so gross today.

the evening started out great..went to a wine bar with my parents..had some snacks there..handful of roasted nuts, a little hummus and a little jalapeno artichoke dip...but then i went home..and just started eating!  i admit i was a little hungry but i just ate whatever was around (luckily not too much or it could have been worse).  started with some roast chicken, then half a bag of 100cal popcorn, jello with non fat whipped cream, a bite of left over pasta, cherry tomatoes, some cucumber, zucchini, cauliflower and broccoli..and gosh, i hope thats it.  i know this was triggered by the alcohol..but still, thats not an excuse.  so couple that with the snacks and what i had already eaten during the day.  uhg..i just hate this..i feel so ashamed and gross.  i wish my hubby would have stepped in and just stopped me..but he knows that it wouldnt have helped.  now he just has to listen to me complain.  i guess i feel even worse because i didnt exercise last nite either..choosing to go out instead of run makes me feel uber lazy and bad about myself.  im sorry for the venting..i just feel sooo bad!  any words of encouragement would be helpful today.  thank

oh..and i forgot about the grapes..ate grapes too!  yuck!!!!!!!

well hey at least you ate a lot of veggies and some fruit. your binge doesn't seem too bad. but i still know how you feel. yeah, i've been lazy all day today because of my binge. oh well...new day tomorrow.

Been a while since I've been on CC.  I have had several months of overeating and binging.  Scales reflect it.  I have renewed hope in Christ to overcome gluttony, and have returned to CC for support as well...  "So, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God. (1st Corinthians 10:31)."  It strikes me how many times the bible speaks against serving the tummy.  I have been a slave to mine.  I am looking to break the chains of bondage.  I pray you do, too.

since this month, i have binged for 4 days.  no more, enough is enough, day 1 begins today.

trigger foods that are banned:      &n bsp;        ;       &n bsp;

-bread

-cookies/crackers

-peanut butter

-soymilk

-noodles and rice

-cake of all kinds      &nbs p;       & nbsp;      &nbs p;       & nbsp;      &nbs p;       & nbsp;      &nbs p;       & nbsp;      &nbs p;       & nbsp;    

yes. i agree w/ ur list. except i have to add cereal. such a huge trigger for me.

hey guys..seriously been so long since i've been on here...no one really comments straight away anymore!

guess what i've been doing to keep my weight maintained?? i've been doing sort of the bead diet that celebs have been rumoured to be doing...

except i don't have a bracelet..i kinda colour in 6 circles (1 representing 240cals...coz that's 1000 kJ's...but you can have 12 beads of 100cals each if you want) and i just stop eating when i've coloured all of them in. IT REALLY HELPS...it doesn't exactly stop my binging coz i still eating stuff outside of my meals..but it helps me stop filling my stomach up with crap and vomiting it all up again.

annnnnnnd this is something that i am really proud of!!! I USED to be a BIGGG chocoholic but now i don't eat chocolate at all...at first it was really hard. i was addicted to milk chocolate...so i stopped eating milk chocolate and switched to dark chocolate which didn't help at all..then i swapped to white chocolate...(it's less addictive coz of no endorphins) then i switched to yoghurt balls which are actually bad for you...and then i switched to low cal hot chocolate and then i just stopped....=) so now no chocolate..i haven't had chocoalte since the end of April. and i haven't had any sugarey foods since July..sugarey stuff to me means cakes, cookies, candy, desserts, things just with added sugar. I still eat a bunch of dried fruit which i'm currently working on and i still eat fruit and sweetened diet yoghurt but i'm just glad..coz sugar seems to spike my appetite (not to mention my blood sugar levels) up. and prob 2 weeks ago, i stopped eating white or processed grains..such as white bread, white rice, chips, etc. Now i'm eating a lot of nuts (working on it right now), dried fruit, veges, I'm vegetarian, and low fat dairy. I am only binging on mostly dried fruit, nuts, and some chicken occasionally.

i think this has helped...and also i just bought a new treadmill. i know that some people say that bingers should seek to resolve their binging before their weight loss but i just believe that if i lose just a few kilos it will motivate me into eating into a routine. plus i just got a new job that's full time..just till the end of this year and i'll come back to college. so it means that there is routine for me..which i LOVE. coz then there's no surprises which means that i can eat without any anxiousness..

WOW enough of me ranting and blabbering....what do you think about this elimination into eating healthily? do you guys have any other tips?

I think any positive tool that helps keep you motivated or in control is a good one.  Congrats and continued success on the bead/color-dots tool!

My primary trigger foods are sweets (ALL KINDS) and starches.  Couple of weeks ago I polished off the rest of a loaf of bread (6 slices) with margarine (Smart Balance brand).  I never eat buttered bread.  But, I was in a binge mindset.  Bread is a trigger.  But, now when I think back on it I get grossed out.  UGH!  Last weeks' binge was on a box of raisin bran, and then desert every day at the cafeteria.  Calories to the max.

I must move forward and not beat myself up.  Stay positive.

Yesterday was a good day.  So far, so good today. 

So, I am on day three of no binging or overeating.  This is a huge accomplishment for me.  My sodium is high.  Probably will be this week since I am planning canned soup, canned chicken and tuna and canned beans as main staples to my diet this week.  The weekend will be back to more fresh stuff.

Great job redrock! I honest to God know how it feels to not binge for 3 or more days. actually its been a month since i last binged... which is something considering i've been binging (full blown, cause i was 96 lbs. in august 07 and in June 08 i was 148) for 10 months solid! ive been going to the gym 6 times a week and even managed to lose 10 lbs this month. i think after all this time i found my resolve. and what really triggered this 180 was a locket my dad found in our garage. he gave it to me and said to put a picture in it. well instead i wrote my thoughts, dreams, fears, hopes, and visions of the future, on a little piece of paper and stuck it inside my locket. everyday i would change my paper and write something meaningful of it and recall my locket and teeny piece of paper and what they stood for if i ever felt like going on an all out binge. also on the paper i would write the date, how long it had been since my last binge, and how many more weeks it would take me to be back to a comfortable 110lbs. at the end of the day i would put my paper in a piggy bank cross and save it to read when this is all done (Nov. 22!). ever since i've started this ritual i havent binged, and i think its because around my neck is a constant reminder of the elusive freedom that i had been searching for so long... because i know that the only way for me to be at peace with the horrible things i had done to my body is to fix them... so even though i still cry at night (nights always seem to be when i feel most vunerable and lonely) i pray and hold onto my locket and remember the past 30 days of being free... and then i feel peace and am able to fall asleep.. eagerly awaiting tomorrow... another day to atone for what i had done...so yeah.. i just wanted to share that with you guys. that it's gonna be okay it took me awhile to realize it... someday its gonna be okay. ok bye! 

middle11992, Great inspirational post!

middle that is great. good luck to you and keep up the good work.

I myself find that if i keep myself from going hungry it will save myself a horrible binge (usually on the weekends!). I find that now my body is trying to "make up" for all the restricting i did. I have put on about 10 lbs so far and i am still at a healthy weight but would like to at least stay at this weight and not gain anymore!