Health & Support

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

eurgh. binged so bad tonight. i am so disgusting-i dont diserve what i have. why cant i just be normal with food?! why do i have to be so fricking disfunctional?!?!?!?!

Well, I just binged on peanut butter and honey.

I went to Peru this summer (2.5 months doing theatre with locals). It was the first time I was out of my city and although I couldn't feel it that much then, it was really nerve racking.

I think an ED showed up then... it had been waiting for a chance to come out (morbid obesity/heart attacks/diabetes on my mother's side of the family, mother is an emotional overeater, father would make fun of overweight people and comment my eating habits, I have self esteem issues...!) and it snuck up on me.

I either don't eat much at all (as little as 200 cals a day) or binge. And I just binged again. I feel so ashamed of myself!

hi im Nat and im a binger&bulimia too. i think this post is really going to be helpful for me to stop bingin and to get support from others that are goin through the same thing as i am. the only problem is, it is soooo hard for me to express how i feel or what im going through in here, well i mean, english is not my mother language so even though i understand most things that are written in here, i cant really write what i what to say T.T,, so just wanted to apologise first if any of this doens't make sense.....

Im studyin abroad and living by myself in japan. When i went back to my home country durin my uni break, i was soo good for about 1-2 months or so, and was losin weight gainin muscle and very happy. But for the past 3 weeks back in japan ive been bingin, throwing up, slackin n not goin to the gym at all. Maybe its because of homesick, stress from schol work and cos my bf is no where to be found lol...anyway, i've been really stressed cos i worked so hard to loose those weights and im so scared to weigh myself now. i cant see the numbers coming up again, i just cantttttt... i binged again today, wonder when this cycle will end!!

This is a kind of depressing thread. I wish I was doing great so that I could inject a little positivity ... but, nah, I'm just here to add to the collective misery.

Will this never end?

I went to make a cup of tea to stop myself from binging on apples and bananas in my room ... and came back with some food ... 15 oatcakes, far too much chocolate spread and 5 biscuits ... plus I ate a load of nuts and raisins while waiting for the kettle. I should have just had the fruit ... LOL. I'm ridiculous!

I just seem to be getting worse and worse. I remember a time when eating half a 750ml tub of soya ice cream seemed terrible ... now a whole one is nothing special and will often be followed by other stuff.

Going to uni had made this sooooooooooo much worse. I either starve myself or binge, binge, binge. I never eat proper meals in the evening because I'm scared to go in the communal kitchen ... it's just ... a hideous way of living. Then I go home and binge even more.

I have all these stupid excuses about needing energy and needing to show my mum that I'm not anorexic (hah!!!) and if I eat this I won't eat that ... blah, blah, blah ... and it always ends in either a huge binge or just overeating.

I've been spending such a lot of money on food, too ... half of it I don't enjoy at all and then it pretty much goes straight down the loo. It's disgusting, man.

Is anyone else DREADING Christmas? I'm so worried about having to spend 3 weeks with my family and being surrounded by unhealthy food.

Ugh. Dreading Christmas because of food. I HATTTTEEEEE it.

I just feel as if anxiety and unhappiness are making my eating worse and then the eating crap's making the anxiety and unhappiness worse. These eating issues sort of (sorry!) feed off each other as well.

I WILL BE GOOD TOMORROW.

butball, your English seems fine. Good luck!

Good luck everyone, actually! I'm sure it is possible to beat this!

Hello all, I can feel ya since I am going and have gone through so much of the same thing.  It helps to read posts from you all.  I don't feel so lonely and I am sure that food is my "friend" too much of the time.  I have made quite a mess out of my eating/food habits recently.  I just hope to get a fresh start......and that means later on today.  My afternoons and evenings are the worst.  

Hey, I want to thank Nicole for starting this post. I hope I "use" this instead of ED/food. I am out of control and it seems to be bigger than I am anymore. And I seem to need to be stuffing something into my mouth all the time. I would like to be able to stop it - for good. I know that stopping it is one day (minute) at a time, but I want it be OVER, once and for all. Between lunch and bedtime I feel like I am walking through a mine-field. Will I make it? Its so stressful I surrender to "I don't care", just to get past the anxiety. Sending the best of support to all of you today who are going through the same thing. I usually end up eating, eating, eating and with my health conditions it becomes self-destruction as I engage.

one day binge-free....

I have just recently realized I have BED, and its kinda scary...

deamer, we sound exactly the same!

I always do the same thing when I'm waiting for water to boil in the kitchen, because I'm just standing there, doing nothing, surrounded by food. Does anyone else also feel that it's when you're waiting that you feel the urge to binge? Waiting for the train to arrive in the metro, waiting for the bus in front of a convenience store... I'll start obsessing over sweets and then go buy cookies, then start reading the nutritional info and feel guilty because really, it didn't even taste good so it wasn't worth it at all!

I'm actually dealing with Christmas time (which, to me, has already started because there is coincidentally an incredible amount of birthdays and anniversaries in my family these days) by intensively dieting (...starving myself!)between events. Or during parties I will say "oh no, thank you", then overeat like a pig when I get home. It is so ridiculous!

But I think I would actually eat much less if I wasn't always with people. I live with my mother and eat dinner with her often, so I don't want her to believe I have issues...

Guhh!

2 good days so far! On my third & it WILL be a good day!!!

I actually HATE this monster and I cant get rid of it!!!! I just cant!!!! I really dont think its ever ever ever going to go away....I should be obese and I have no idea why I am not. I am so so so DISGUSTING!!! :(

i need to stop binging!!!

made it through my 3rd day binge-free.

I went out to lunch with my roommate and her family, and ate a big sandwich and some sweet potato fries (it was a grilled veggie panini but it had some cheese & pesto, so I'm sure it was still high cal) Before that I had had an apple and coffee for bfast. Soo I told myself after that big lunch I probably shouldn't eat anything for the rest of the day. I was scared that once I started eating I would just keep on going, figuring the day was screwed up with my lunch anyway. Well, I kept myself busy for the rest of the day and didn't eat ANYTHING else, AND I even worked out in the gym for an hour! I almost caved and had dinner when my roomie offered me some homemade chili & biscuits her mom had brought us but I politely declined. I could picture having a bowl of chili and a biscuit, and it just not being enough to fill me up. Next thing I know I'd be running off to the dining hall to stuff myself until I felt sick. I just didn't want to go down that road....

Oh this is scary sometimes. It is definitely a disorder, and it just feels so out of control sometimes. I hope it gets easier every day....

Since I started binging regularly (maybe about 6 weeks ago), the longest I've gone binge-free and diet-successful has been 6 days. I'm determined to beat that! I'm trying to tell myself that its so much easier to just keep eating healthily than to let myself slide and have to start all over again. Like, I know if I tart to binge I can just say "Well, tomorrow's a new day" but then that "Day 1" always sucks. I don't want to have to start from one again - I would like the next time I eat without trying to count cals or be healthy it is a treat, a rare occasion, and not a guilty failure.

Tomorrow is going to tough, I have a team horse show and my coach surrounds us with TONS of unhealthy food, its ridiculous. But I'm going to keep telling myself to just get through Saturday cuz Sundays are always a lot easier for me...

wish me luck.

Well, after having two good days I binged the last two nights. Ugh. Thursday I binged just because I usually binge on Thursday and I convinced myself that I probably would binge and so I did... Last night I just couldn't move myself from the kitchen. Ugh. Well, I'm starting over today and hopefully I can do this. Maybe it will finally be over... I can hope.

how many calories would be considered a binge?? also can any kind of food be a binge food or just junk food?

it's been 3 days in a row. I need to get back up. I'm gonna need all the support I can. it's like i sabotage myself when i eat something remotely "bad". When I eat well, I can keep a clean record for a long time, but man...when i DO eat something bad...all hell breaks loose.

OK I "failed" yesterday.

In my defense, I tried to get my regular healthy lunch at the food truck at our horse show - the only food source. Usually I can get a turkey and tomato pita, or at the very least a veggie burger. Unfortunately the food truck didn't come through  for me - all they had was chicken fingers, fries, mozerell sticks, etc, so I couldn't eat healthy. And yeah, I stayed off-track for the rest of the day. Oh well.

On the bright side, I weighed myself yesterday morning before the show, and was happy to see that I managed to lose 1lb last week despite two days on binging between my weigh-ins, so my plan for this week is to remain binge-free throughout the whole weekand weigh myself again on Saturday morning- hopefully I will see a 2 lb drop!

Just newly discovered this post. A little too late. Probably just had my biggest binge ever. I don't even know what to do with myself, I am so repulsed. I hate having so many problems. This lack of any self-control is seriously more than I can handle.

come on guys! we need to be a little more active on this board!!!

Well after my bad saturday - I stuck to my 1200 cal diet yesterday, and I'm doing good so far for today. I need to stick with it all week!!! If anything, I recognize that at least my binge days are becoming rarer - now when I eat 1200 calories its more the norm rather than the exception. Go me!

omg. i totally freaked myself out tonight. i woke up from a nap and i just started eating and i felt like i couldn't control it, like something had honestly taken over me. it felt worse than anything i've experienced before. i don't get it. i ate some raw cookie dough which will probably make me sick, some cottage cheese, and crackers. i feel so icky now. i guess it isn't terrible and i was finally able to stop myself but i don't understand this. what is going on? i just want to scream...i can't take this anymore...this is ruining my life...i guess i'm just looking for some support now... 

stormsrun, well done. Keep it up! And don't stress if you don't keep it up! Hah.

Mike, that really isn't that bad! I'm sure the loss of control was scary and all ... but at least you managed to stop yourself.

I've had a really stressful two weeks and have binged enough to gain 3lbs. 3lbs more than the 6lbs I've already gained recently. Ugh. I suppose it isn't too bad considering I must've been over 3000 calories every day for a while.

Today I had a horrible cold train journey and then a horrible cold bus journey and then a horrible walk in the cold rain. Felt like crap and binged the second I got in. Who on Earth binges on semolina? For goodness' sake! It could've been a lot worse, though. I hadn't had anything proper all day (I know, I know ... that's probably partly why I binged) so I'm still well within my calories. I'll probably have to have a meal later on with my mum. I'm determined to enjoy it!

Yesterday I didn't binge at all. And today was OK, really. Now the stressful situation is slightly less stressful things might be on the up ... I hope so!

Good luck, guys ...