Health & Support

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

i feel like scolding is most definitely not what people are about here.
i also think that as an individual you know if it's a binge or not. if you're consciously aware that you really don't need the food for sustinence, but you eat it anyway and in a sort of 'out of control' manner, you're probably binging. at least that's how it is for me.
take this morning, i woke up and had a banana and an apple for brekkie. which was fine for me, because i woke up late and i knew i'd be eating lunch in less than 2 hours. but an hour later, not hungry at all, i proceeded to have 3 more bananas sprinkled with cinnamon. now obviously that's not that many calories taken in and it's healthy, but i was practically scarfing it down my throat and i wasn't even hungry. i binged, and i felt guilty after - not for the actual food sitting in my stomach, but because i knew that i didn't need to and did it anyway.
but i redeemed myself tonight! i went out with some friends after tea, we went to a couple bars and i only had one rum & diet coke, and on the way home when all my friends were getting onion rings and pizza and dim sims, i was craving a cone from hungry jack's, so i got myself one and that was it. now it's bed time, no post-drinking drunk food for me! 

EURGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I binged tonight so bad. I actually repulse and disgust myself!!!!! I had been pretty good recently and tonight, I dont even know what happened....:( I am so ugly.

Okay, so now that I feel I have recovered from BED (well, almost - still have occassional binges now and again, more infrequent, tho!) I have lost a ton of weight. Now I need to gain - but I eat 2000-2500 cals a day! The only way to eat more is to binge again! This is messing with my head - I'm still getting over BED but now I need to eat MORE again?? Has this happened to anyone else? Please help me, I don't want to go back to binging again! I've felt so good listening to my body cues and such, but now the weight wont stop dropping! How is htis even possible? Any advice greatly appreciated - tahnks!

Okay, so now that I feel I have recovered from BED (well, almost - still have occassional binges now and again, more infrequent, tho!) I have lost a ton of weight. Now I need to gain - but I eat 2000-2500 cals a day! The only way to eat more is to binge again! This is messing with my head - I'm still getting over BED but now I need to eat MORE again?? Has this happened to anyone else? Please help me, I don't want to go back to binging again! I've felt so good listening to my body cues and such, but now the weight wont stop dropping! How is htis even possible? Any advice greatly appreciated - tahnks!

ok so i kinda binged tonight but it wasn't as bad as it usually was. i didn't have lunch so for dinner i ate about half a container of cottage cheese, some of this cheerios snack mix, grapes, mushrooms, 2 thin slices of zucchini bread, and some soup. i guess it's not that bad, but i still wish i wouldn't have eaten like that. i felt out of control, but i'm glad the foods were for the most part low cal. i'm thinking i'm around 1150-1200 cals for the day (800 just tonight) so it's not really that bad. now i just feel really, really tired and i have a lot to do.

Do you guys just feel like there's no end to this?

I simply can't imagine ever being "normal" about food. It's horrible. It especially annoys me that I never used to be a binger, however much I ate. Now once I start I just can't stop. I wish I'd listened when I was about 12 and my mum and her friends would tell me never to start dieting - it's true, it **** you up!

And, somehow, despite this "feeling like there's no end" thing I start each day with such sickening optimism.

The whole thing is just tedious and time-consuming.

I feel such a fraud, too. I think people think of me as being fairly healthy. And I'm ... well, not. It seems unfair that I remain reasonably thin when I'm so revolting.

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

Cool ... 1066 ... LOL. Significant date and stuff ;-).

i am in the difficult process of recovering from anorexia (which I suffered for a few months.. in which i lost 20 lbs very unhealthily). But now I'm having the problem of binging... i've gained about 8 lbs so far and i feel terrible. I look in the mirror and i look slim, but my mind keeps telling me that i am fat and i feel bloated... so yesterday, was the start of the new day for me, and i was doing well until bedtime came around...

Breakfast: 90 calorie granola bar, 1cup of grits Lunch: big bag of soy crisps and rasberry tea Dinner: large veggie wheat wrap snack: hot chocolate and then..... RIGHT before bed... 2 of those sugar-free jellos light'n fit yogurt 3 granola bars then woke up in the middle of the night and had... those mini decadent desserts that you pop in the oven another granola bar total for the day was still 1175, but it's not the calories that's making me feel terrible. but the fact that i binged and ate mindlessly. I think i should just eat more throughout the day. I'm just afraid that even if I eat normally I'll still binge at night... i'll try it out today and update you guys. wish me luck!!

I had:

7 granols bars

3 small bags of chips

1 cup or so of those ritz cracker cheese 'sandwiches'

an apple

some soup

like 8 mini chocolate bars

hot chocolate

I've been doing a lot better with binging lately. I'm EDNOS, which to me means that I restrict restrict restrict, like >200 during the day, and then binge like there's no tomorrow after 11pm. I went home for a week for midterm break (I'm a college student) and basically binged the whole week. It felt awful, but (oddly) almost totally cured me of my desire to binge once I got back to school! For the past week, I just remember what it felt like to be so bloated and disgusting at home (which for some reason, is my mental food "safe zone" which I think is what leads to the binging when I'm there) and I don't have the urge anymore. So maybe a bad situation turned into a good motivator, sort of? But something strange happened this morning. I convinced myself that it was okay to eat ONE packet of peanut butter cheese crackers (about 200 cals) before bed because I was legitimately hungry. I was upset too, but my tummy was rumbling, so I let myself eat that, gave myself permission to eat it, and MOVED ON mentally from there. Well, when I woke up this morning, I was STARVING. I'm a radio DJ, so this morning I was up at 4:45am. So breakfast was a spoonful of PB, two spoonfuls of yogurt, 10 or so chocolate-covered espresso beans, a to-go mug of coffee with splenda, about 1/2 a teaspoon of strawberry jam, and a few pieces of trail mix. I know that doesn't really qualify as a binge, but it felt like one because I was just eating the first things that came into my head without thinking about what I was eating or how it was making me feel like I've been trying to do. So here's a challenge for all of us (myself included) that I'm stealing from ANRED's relapse prevention page: when you're eating, whether it's a binge, a meal, a snack, whatever, THINK about what you're eating. Think about how it tastes, it's texture, how eating it makes you feel (good OR bad) and so on. This really helps me not eat as much because I actually get satisfied by my food, and I hope it helps some other people too. Good luck everyone! 

torpidire, I'm exactly like you about binging like crazy when I go home. It's awful, isn't it?

Anyway, I was fine until about 1.00 when I went to Boots for something totally innocent and came out with a sandwich and a chocolate bar (looking back, that would have been fine ... it's a perfectly OK lunch ... but I thought of it as a binge so just kept on eating). Then it alllll went downhill. I went to two other shops just to buy a load of crap, basically. Then I got in and had some more!

I feel so ill. So tired. So bloated. And I have SO much work to do. I just want to sleep. 

well, i kinda feel like i binged tonight, but i don't know if it really was a binge. i had some mushrooms, celery, grapes, croutons, mini rice-cakes, a few bell pepper slices, some baked lays crumbs, and 3 of those honey wheat braided pretzel sticks. probably like 400 or so calories. well, i kinda see it as a binge, but i'm glad it wasn't that many calories. i don't feel sick, probably because i didn't eat that much today and it was basically my dinner and i'm still probably only around 1100-1200 cals for the day or so. it just seems like the first thing i want to do as soon as i get home though is eat which is not really good.

can anyone please give me tips on not binging at night

i just feel so horrible after 

My name is John and I am a binge eater.

This summer I resolved to lose a little bit of weight, only about 5 pounds because I was at a pretty healthy weight.  This is going to sound stupid but I become an exercise bulimic by accident without realizing it.  I ate about 2200 calories a day but every day I rode my bike for an hour and rowed (crew) for two hours.  I pushed myself extremely hard and probably burned about 500-600 calories per hour.  I was also active throughout the rest of the day and about twice a week I weight trained.  My daily requirements were probably around 4000-4500 because that's what I used to eat during spring training and spring crew.  I never gained fat then (I gained weight because I gained muscle).  I only gained fat when I stop doing intense exercise and continued to eat 4000-4500 calories a day.  Eventually I went on a three day starvation period and only ate about 500 calories a day while staying active.  Eventually my body just shut down but thankfully I have recovered from that and gained back all of my muscle mass and more.  Unfortunately, I have developed binge eating disorder so I have a meal plan for tomorrow that I have resolved to follow.  

Breakfast - 600 cal

Lunch - 600 cal

After school snack - 400 cal

Dinner - 800 cal

Before Bedtime Snack - 400 cal

Total: 2,800 calories

This might seem high to alot of you but I am a teenage boy and I could probably  eat 3200-3300 calories a day without gaining fat because I am very active.  However, yesterday was probably 6000-7000 calories and today was probably 4000-5000.  I have resolved to not gain any more fat so I will follow my diet plan.  I'm posting it here because having it posted that I will do it will probably make me more likely to do it.  I will eat five time a day, and no more.  I will not exceed 2,800 calories per day.  

600, 600, 400, 800, 600.  That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.

 

Hi My name is Yahvinah,

 

and I just realised it, but I am a BINGE EATER, in some of my past binges I have eaten close to 5000 calories ontop of my meals. I get into a binge mode and sometimes I will eat something healthy like Beans and rice, and then just keep going back to the pot until I am physically sick sometimes up to 8 bowls at a time. I never noticed it as a disorder before, I just thought I was weak and losing control, and being a piggy. My most recent binges have been related to my husbands new night job, some days I hardly see him at all, and when I do and he has to leave again, I go crazy with the food, as though the act of eating will somehow replace the feeling of emptiness I feel when he is gone.

 

THe good news is I found this site a few days ago, and I haven't binged. This is so crazy that I never knew that BED even existed, I just thought I was disgusting and destined to keep growing out of control FOREVER< I got sick during my pregnancy and then got postnatal depression, and within 12 months I gained almost 100lbs. Before this I was a competing KICKBOXER, I was dancing, doing aerobics, and when I went overseas to Israel and came back I found that I really missed it there, and I think thats when the weight started creeping up. I went from 75-85 kg in six months, and I thought nothing of it, I was aware of it, but didn't know why. Then I got pregnant, and as soon as the morning sickness hit, I stopped leaving the house, and started binging.

 

I feel somewhat ashamed soming out and saying this to a forum full of strangers, my family doesn't even know, they think I am back to my original weight by now, doing fine. But Since all my family lives in Chicago, I don't want to show them what I have become, I am too ashamed. But now I feel liberated to be able to come out and say this, and not feel like I am a bad person anymore.

 

THank you all so much for making this thread, I have to stop typing before I cry on my keyboard though... Wish me luck!!

 

WHEW... 

wow, i am so glad to have found this forum! i sadly fell into the binging just last year (college + classes + family issues + relationship issues = MAJOR stress) now i feel like i have to be stuffed all the time :( i'm getting better though, trying to fight the urges to use food as a comfort. life is about laughter and happiness, not tummy aches and too tight clothing. good luck all!

ugh. i binged tonight and i'm probably at around 2400 or so calories for the day with over 1000 coming just tonight in the span of about a half-hour :(. i mostly had healthy food and i don't feel super sick, just really tired. my heart was racing after i got done and it really scared me. i really almost stopped eating before it even turned into a real binge, but for some stupid reason i convinced myself to keep eating. i think it may be because i weighed myself this morning and i lost a pound which would make most people happy and normally i would be happy except that i'm getting scared that soon i'm going to be underweight. i really don't want this to happen, but i just cannot get over this binge/restrict/exercise cycle. it's so not healthy. i might be going to see a therapist soon, so hopefully that will help me straighten out this disorder and help me move on with my life.

well, i binged again today. still on healthy food, but it still makes me really angry. i'm supposed to go out to dinner at the olive garden tonight but i just feel so gross now. i don't know how i'm going to eat there. ugh. why why why.

i was doing so well, i had gone 2 weeks without binging.. i was able to convince myself i could keep not-so-healthy foods around, and this arvo after coming back from a walk with one of my friends, i had a craving for something crunchy. so i opened up the shapes crackers and started munching.. only had a few, but then i wanted to try a different flavour, so i opened up the other package of shapes. i traded off between the two boxes for a while - only eating a few each time, mind you - before i decided i wanted a crumpet. but the crumpet was bland by itself, so i put some banana on it. and the banana was so nice that i had to have another. and another. and so began the binge..
package of crumpets with banana (about 650 cals)shapes crackers (at least 600 cals worth)WHOLE PACKAGE OF TIM TAMS (1200)wayy too many viva lites cookies (900)

and that is on top of the calories i already had for brekkie and lunch. i feel blaaah.. how did i even fit that in my stomach?
i'm focusing on tomorrow though. if i have already done 2 weeks, there's no reason i can't do three. that's my new goal.

o you guys...for the past 3 weeks I was able to talk a/b how I had made a break through and gotten a lot of help..it was a hard week with a lot of stuff and...I binged. I binged and DID feel horrible again. I binged so bad that i started going out to buy the dreaded binge food. I hate to bring anyone down but man you guys I felt sooooo close. Now,....I just ....ahhh I'm just tearing up thinking about how badly I want this to be over. My mom wants me to go to the hospital b/c I've thought a/b ending my life:( I'm so sorry it just is so overwhelming after a while. Life doesn't matter when something so stupid as food takes over.

My, this is an uplifting thread ...

You people CAN overcome this. People DO! Every day is a new day! timtam, two weeks is awesome!

Right. Back to the usual depressing crap about how much I've eaten ...

I'm such a joke. I can be watering down my light soya milk (saving about 10 calories ...), abstaining from a single piece of chewing gum and quartering a pear one day and then eating 2000 calories of nuts in the space of about five mins the next. It's just so ridiculous. It's almost funny ... only it ... isn't!

I've been binging b-a-d today and yesterday. One positive thing is that I haven't been making myself sick much lately (and I haven't been gaining weight, either) ... but it's kinda hard to view that as an actual positive.

Yesterday I ate a proper meal, too. That was nice. I actually sat down at a table with someone and ate a proper hot meal that I'd cooked. A refreshing change from eating while standing at the cupboard looking for something else to eat, anyway!

Oh, well. It's a fresh week tomoz ... and I WILL NOT BINGE.

Yeah ... right! 

Katergater, if you're feeling really suicidal then your mom's right, you should go to the doctor. I'm sure you know that ... but ... you know.