Motivation

Hi, my name is Suzanne and I am 23 years old. I weigh 258.3 pounds(yikes) and would really like to get down to between 140 and 150. I was wondering if there was anyone else out there in their 20's who has about that much they want to lose. We could work together and stay motivated to reach our goals!!! Also, if there is anyone in their 20's who has lost that much and wants to share their success story, I would love to hear it! Thanks!

Good luck to you too, safantasia!  I try to do the whole "wait til Saturday to cheat" thing, but I usually end up actually cheating on Saturday!  I always feel like I deserve some curly fries or something since I worked so hard all week, and once I have curly fries it only makes sense to have a shake, and then my whole day goes down the drain!  Good for you that you pretty much avoid the cheating pitfall!

Original Post by allydan:

That IS reason to celebrate!  Good for you!
I wasn't quite so good last night... I went to the gym and worked my butt off, and ate the perfect number of calories, but ended up stressing over this guy and sharing a bottle of wine with my neighbor.  I think I've replaced stress eating with stress drinking, which might even be worse.  It's just that as I gained weight I got more and more awkward with men, so it's to the point that any little thing freaks me out completely.  Those of you with significant others are super lucky; it's tough to be single and uncomfortable with your body!

Allydan,

Don't stress over guys. I am sure that you don't need to. He is probably stressing over you right now anyway! I know it can be uncomfortable, I watched my mom really go through it. Since my dad died in 1995, she has gained a lot of weight. You know, the usual, stress eating, grieve eating.   Being a plus size woman anyway, it really did little for her confidence. Last april she got married to a great guy and they are really happy now. He has actually given her the confidence she needs to start tying to be healthier. I guess my point is when you find the right guy, it doesn't matter what you look like, because you will be beautiful to him.

Also, it helps to find at least one thing you are confident about. I always liked my shoulders and my hair. Once you find what makes you feel confident, flaunt it! You won't believe what a difference it makes.

Original Post by dalmalama:

Original Post by allydan:

it's tough to be single and uncomfortable with your body!

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!

i could go on and on about that. i am just now trying to come to terms with this big ol' body, even before it becomes a small ol' body. it's tough, ESPECIALLY when it comes to relationships, trying to build them, stay in them. god, it's tough. a big part of it for me is this little nagging voice in the back of my head telling me he's not as into me as he would be if i were thin. i hate that voice. and then i'm getting older (duh, we all are!), but i'm approaching a milestone b-day that i'm just not mentally prepared for, b/c i still feel 18, you know? off-topic

back to the body thing: is it just me, or is it/has it been difficult to let guys touch you when you feel you're so heavy? it's really hard for me, b/c their hands there (wherever there is) just makes the existence of that fat real. it makes me face the fact that i don't have the dream body i wish i had.  tmi?

dalmalama,

I actually, even though I do believe that if a guy loves you he should think you are beautiful no matter what you look like, agree that I feel my husband would be more into me if I were thin. It's the same voice that you have, in the back of my mind, that never seems to be able to shut up. I have gained a lot of weight through our relationship, between my car accident and me being on the depo shot for 5 years (which by the way is a killer for your weight efforts). As embarrassing as this is to admit, and I can't believe I am going to admit this, my feelings of self consciousness only increased last year when I lets say caught him entertaining himself to a picture of some skinny bimbo on the net. Well, that pretty much stripped away any confidence I have ever had, including my confidence in my hair and shoulders. I know it is such a guy thing to do, I just never thought that my husband was that guy.  It was pretty hard to deal with especially because we weren't even married for a year yet. Truth be told, I am still dealing with it. The fact of the matter is, I will never be the girl who looks like an airbrushed model. So even if you are married, being heavy can be tough then too. Anyhow, I guess that's part of the reason I am doing this. I want to at least feel like I tried my very best to look as good as possible. Please don't tease me on this girls!

ennazus520,
You totally shouldn't stress.  You're right when you say if someone loves you they think they're beautiful even if you don't look like some airbrushed bimbo.  Honestly, I think all men do that to some degree, and even if you looked like that internet chick he'd still do it.  I think it's just a man thing, so don't let it get you down. 
I'm assuming that even if you weren't quite as heavy when you got with your guy, he knew you weren't ever going to be a super model and he loves you anyway.  So don't let typical man-ness mess with your head!

Thanks allydan!

And honestly, this is the first time I have talked about it because I was always to embarrassed. But now that it's off my chest, I do feel better. Thank you again!

I'm 28 6ft and 290 (I've gained back 20 lbs!!). I feel like I'm sliding backwards from the progress I had been making and it's driving me mad. I really would like to be a size 16 by may- I think that's the equivilant to about 50 lbs to lose. I have this adorable blue and green dress I bought and I have it hung in my window. I want to wear it on my birthday- May 11th. That's my stepping stone to my ultimate goal of 175. I figure if I can lose 50 lbs I can do anything!

WE CAN DO IT!!!

ennazus520, there's nothing to tease you for. that voice gets to all of us. but the one positive thing from it is that we're actually trying to be healthier along with the weight loss.

ennazus520- What a painful ordeal.  I hope your husband can understand how this has all made you feel.  We are so tempted to do so many different things, eat too much, drink our problems away, sexual things, the list goes on and on, but we often forget how that impacts someone else.  I sure hope you know that it doesn't truly reflect how he sees you or his love for you.  He must know that he's got it good to be with you.  You're beautiful, and moving past it to a healthier you is the best thing you can do for yourself!

A big welcome to safantasia, allydan and she_intimidates! I have a feeling that we will have a lot of people to thank from this forum once we're at our goals. This seems like a very encouraging, caring group of women.

Original Post by elfkittie22:

Original Post by mladdy:

elfkittie22- A little exercise does the body good. I apologize if I came across sounding like a "know-it-all" before; I'm faaaar from it! If I could give you a tiny bit of advice about starting to up the exercise, don't push yourself. Man, my knees and legs are killing from Monday's 1000 cal burn (I think the 20 mins. of treadmill jogging is what did it.). I'm going to fore-go jogging until I am either closer to my goal weight or on some super cushy, shock absorbent surface.

Oh no, you didn't seem like a know it all at all! ^_^ I'm just frustrated with myself that I don't exercise more. My roommate and I are both on this site, and I'm going to ask her if we can do tae bo maybe 4 nights a week. That's a really good workout!

Tae Bo sounds like fun!  You and your roomie will have so much fun!  Do you guys share responsibilities of preparing food, too?  That would be sooooo convenient!  There's not any concern about getting competitive with each other is there?  That would probably be the only down-side to both of you being on the weight loss cause. 

I just wanted to join this group. I'm 29, 280 lbs, want to lose 150 as soon as possible and am having a hard time with accepting that the healthiest way to do it is going to take about two years.

Also, I wanted to reply to these comments. Being married and uncomfortable with your body ain't no picnic either, especially when you only weighed 125 lbs. when you got married. And even though he's been married to me this whole time that I've been gaining weight, I still feel like he can't possilby like the way the fat feels.

As for a guy entertaining himself to pictures of other women, please don't tolerate it as "a guy thing." I had to deal with that and my husband, and all of the emotional crap that comes from it, like you're feeling/ you've felt. If it helps any, my therapist has gotten me and Hubby to talk and I have come to realize that his addiction (because that is what it is) had nothing to do with me or even with the way the other women looked. It had to do with association and feelings of pleasure. He at one time found pleasure when he looked at a naked woman, continued to seek it out and after a while became addicted....much like anyone addicted to drugs, emotional eating, etc. It really isn't about you. If it bothers you, ask him to seek help; recovery will take time. If it doesn't bother you, let it go. But it is not "just a guy thing" and yes women can be addicted too.

On a lighter note, I am excited to have found this site and the wonderful support here. I've lost 5 lbs since my doc said to count calories (although I think most of that was because I had a stomach virus for 3 days that didn't allow me to eat anything while everything else came out) and I may have also gained some back (see journal) but I am determined to stick this out.

Let's go people, WE ROCK!

YAY! I have finally stumbled upon a forum for us curvy girls! Granted that I have only been on the website since yesterday. I am 28, 5'7 250 lbs. I would love to lose 100 lbs! I hope to do it with all of ya! Congrats to those of you who have already lost and to us that have started. Hang in there for one wild ride! =)

mladdy: Tae bo IS a ton of fun. We usually laugh the whole time too. So far there's no competition between us, we just try to keep each other motivated and on track.

Oh, and I know this isn't much but I lost one more pound! I'll probably miss my goal weight of 240 by Feb. 6th, but oh well. I've already lost 7 pounds since I started about a month ago! 

Ok...this will be a long one

First of all, welcome to our new members, happychic300, emmakea, and she_intimidates! I hope we can give you the support you need on your journey and count on your support back!

she_intimidates: My birthday is in May also, (May 20) and I know how it feels to want to look good for your birthday! My goal is to try to lose 30 pounds by mine, and you are right, if you could stick true long enough to lose 50 pounds, you can certainly reach your ultimate goal! Good luck, and I know we will all be rooting for you to be able to flaunt that dress on your birthday!

dalmalama, mladdy, and emmakea, Thank you for your support on the hubby's entertaining option. It doesn't really bother me like it did, but it just really made me feel more aware of the weight I gained. I had only caught him at it once, and he swears there were no other times (yeah yeah) and after I told him about how it made me feel, he swore it wouldn't happen again. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that he started to work at his cousins automotive shop in which every inch of the walls and toolboxes are dressed with pictures of completely naked hooker porno stars. (sorry I am bitter about them, it may be just fat girl jealousy, but I can't understand why woman would want to pose naked so men can well, you know) Anyhow, I think that some how altered his brains or something to feeling like he had to do it. I don't think he is addicted, or else I don't want to think he is. I think it was just a splurge of insensitivity. (He admits he would feel terrible about his bedroom skills and looks if the script was flipped) I just know I will feel much more confident when I get down to my goal, so then I will feel at least like I look the best I can! But I do want to thank all of you for understanding so well.

Congratulations emmakea on losing 5lbs! I think the first few pounds are always the hardest, but then once you start losing, it's easier to say I can keep doing this, and keep it going!

elfkittie22 I am glad you found a fun group to exercise with. I think that is half the battle.

Anyhow, ending this note on the very up side, I am no longer on a plateau! I am down to 255.8 today which marks my total weight loss as 7.6 pounds in 9 days! It feels so wonderful to have people to connect to as I see the scale inch downward!

~*Suzanne*~

PS I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

elfkittie22- Awesome! One by one till it's done! Don't give up on your goal just yet, but even if you don't get quite there, you're still closer than when you started!

suzanne- I am so grateful to you for starting this forum. I think we are surrounded by like minded people here, and we all truly care for one another. You are an inspiration! Thanks for sharing yourself with all of us. (@)>~'-,--,-'-- (a rose for you)

happychic300- I have a feeling that you will be just a ray of sunshine to all of us. Thanks for joining!

emmakea- I hear you about the "soon as possible" (yesterday would have been nice!). I also agree that being married doesn't make you feel any better about your body if you're unhealthy. I find it confusing when my husband wants to be intimate (hoping that it's me he wants and not just that). This will not be an issue as long as I stick with the program, because I'm gonna be smokin' when it's all said and done!

A little celebration for me... Since starting on the 2nd of January, I have now lost 23.5 pounds! I know that the pace is soon going to slow, as I feel less bloated and the water has receded (ha ha). This week I am proud to say there is 3 pounds less of me! I've also noticed that my legs are really starting to firm up again and maybe my arms a little too. My favorite pair of jeans, the ones with the thread bare spot in the thigh from rubbing, are now officially retired. I actually bought 2 pairs of pants (deeply clearanced) at the GAP (Neeeeever could have fit into anything there before!). I really feel like I'm blazing a trail for myself. Keep with it everyone, and you'll reap the benefits too!

~Melanie 

mladdy - you sure are an inspiration! 23.5 in one month is soooo amazing! Congratulations! You are so close to being under 200! You're going to be there in no time! I also have those jeans...the inside thighs all worn....but we're working towards not having our jeans look like that! So we can do it!

Hope everyone is having a great Saturday! Mine's alright! 

danibelle414- Thanks for the encouragement!   I just shared with my mom how much I have currently lost, and she got a little freaked out at me.  I had to tell her what awesome help and education I've been getting from CC+.  It is definitely not going to be this much next month, as I have less water to lose.  Probably one third to a half of it was from water weight, but heck, I'm happy to have it gone!  Anyway, I just read your profile page.  You're from MI?  Where abouts?  I grew up in the UP (Yup, I'm a Yooper!  Are you a troll? ha ha).  I miss Michigan soooo much, especially the fall colors and some of the snow (not for 8 mo. of the year though, LOL).  We also have the teaching thing in common.  I don't have my own classroom (not sure if I ever want one as long as I live in California :s ), but I do have an Elementary Education degree.  I'm thinking about going back for early childhood instead.  So it's great to meet you, and I'm looking forward to encouraging everyone here on this forum.

Congrats mladdy!!! That is so great. You are doing so well. You're such an inspiration! I have to admit, my favorite part of weight loss is new clothes too. :P

Original Post by elfkittie22:

I have to admit, my favorite part of weight loss is new clothes too. :P

i know!! i don't know what i like more, finding that my old clothes are too big or buying smaller clothes.

wait, yes i do. buying smaller clothes!!

Just wanted to say I hope everyone is doing well today! *big hugs all around*