was reading what dalma was saying thinking, wow, yeah, that would be the most amazing feeling of my life.  to see under 200 on the scale.  is it weird that being at 268 psychologically makes me feel like i'm no longer a 300 lb girl?  where as 271-275 even still made me feel like i was "almost 300 lbs" and before i WAS 300+ lbs?  anyone else feel that way?  all of a sudden i feel like i'm just a girl in her 200s, not that far off from a size 14/16 and some of the bigger sized clothes at the "normal" stores.  in high school, i felt fat at being in the low 200s but not like someone who elicited the stares i got at 300+.  i think WHEN (not if, cuz i'm gonna do it damn it) i get to the 230s this summer, i might start feeling even better.  and yet, even then, i would technically need to lose like another 100 to get to a healthy bmi.  but i guess with 100 down already at that point, i just wouldn't care. 

BTW, i set my goal at 175 so i have less than 100 lbs to go.  i know that's still not healthy but i decided that 175 is when i want to put myself out there life wise, guys wise, etc.  anything less than that will just be an extra perk.  (though 135 eventually would be nice!  esp if a wedding dress was involved... ;))

mladdy: woohooooooo!!!! congrats on the under 200!!!  you really do look great!

watchme and bootser - i am there with you guys on both fronts!!!

watchme: that's totally how i see it, too! at the low-270's i was like, i'm way too close to 300. but in the 260s, i'm startin' to feel skinny, even though i know i still have a ways to go. but i've come a long way, too. and don't EVEN talk about the 230s. once i see that, i'm pretty sure i'll be walkin' around in micro-minis and booty-shorts. (when i'm in shape, i have the BEST legs! i still remember the last time i was a size 12. my absolute favorite compliment: "ooh, you have dancer's legs." from a professional dancer! loved it!)

bootser: i've totally been a mean daugter. i think i just blocked it out. the year after college, i was still living at home. my mother and i had always had a rocky relationship, always, but that year it was just unbearable. so one day we're arguing, and she gives me an ultimatum, do what she wants, or get the hell out. so i went upstairs, put all my stuff in my car and left. i had nowhere to go but work, so that's where i went. i worked at the cable company at the time, and the first thing i did was cut off her cable.

we made up after that, but not for long. there was time after that, once i had my own place, that we were arguing again. this time, i didn't talk to her or go anywhere near her house for 10 months. i forget what we were arguing about, but i couldn't stand her. we only started talking again by mistake. i called to talk to my brother, but he wasn't by the phone like he said he'd be, and she picked up. it was icy, and brief, but she and i talked. nothing got solved then, but we eventually had a relationship again.

edit: i forgot, during that time, i changed my house phone number, and my cell number and didn't give the numbers to anyone in my family (besides my brother) because i didn't want her to get them and call me. lil' bro would never sell me out to her, not even now.

then yesterday, she said something so ridiculous i wanted to punch her. but i figured, i'm an adult, i'm almost 30 (good god!), i'll be the mature one and let her garbage slide.

other than yesterday, since i've been on my own, my relationship with my mother has been a lot better. immeasurably. i don't hate her anymore, which i used to, genuinely, and seethingly. i don't mind talking to her, and i can vent about crap, and most of the time she won't try to put her two cents in.

Wow, girls, I truly am blessed.  I have an awesome relationship with my mom, always have.  She's the type that will let me go on and on about this and that complaint.  She holds her tongue till I'm completely done venting, and then she offers the other side's point of view.  Sometimes this makes me feel dumb for ever feeling annoyed or angry in the first place.  Other times I've felt frusterated because I just want her to back me blindly and not look at the bright side of things.  But overall, she is completely not pushy or arrogant, and I usually feel 70-100% better after talking with her.  You all can borrow my mom if you ever need to!   I truly feel bad for those of you who struggle with that relationship.  I wish there were something I could do to change that for you, because I owe a lot to my relationship with my mom.

On the other topic of not feeling your true weight, I can totally relate to that.  Granted, I am very happy that I'm a hair under the 200 mark, I still feel like I did about 10 pounds ago.  I still feel really heavy and can't wait for the day that I start to feel skinny (or skinnier).  The only time that I actually feel really good about my body is immediately after a workout session.  Even though I know I look disgusting (drippy, sweaty, smelly), I still feel on  top of the world then!

dalmalama- That's a weird coincidence that it was 1998 when you were 199.8!  Too funny!  It was 2003 for me; just after my wedding.

Boots- Sticking to your planned exercise session is a big accomplishment on some days.  I agree that it's a mental thing for me too.  Strangely enough though, I usually set my goal for lower or less than the burn/time that I actually complete!  I always tell myself, "You've done this much already, why not go for another x cals or x minutes!"  and I usually do!  Way to go for setting your weekly 6 hr goal and being nearly there already!

watchme- My 'blow me over with a feather' number that I'm looking forward to hitting will probably be 160.  That will be too far away from 200 and not too far off from 143 (final goal- healthy bmi)!

Huge thanks and appreciation go out to everyone who has congratulated me.  With no real encouragement right now (my friend who was going on walks and 'dieting' is now happy with her body and taking a break from it), you gals are really all I've got for support.  So thanks for the praise.  Like I said, I'll feel even better about being out of the 2's when I'm WELL out of the shadows!  You are all reaching milestones and creating some healthy patterns to, so WHOOPS AND HOLLERS for you all too!

I'm starting to sag.  

In the week that I've been home my body has felt the need to catch up with itself and rearrange bits and pieces to where it deemed most appropriate.  That left me staring at this weird elephant like sag of skin under my armpits and to the side of my boobs as I stepped from the shower today.  This skin had previously been filled with fat blobules, but now that the fat blobules are disappearing it has nothing to hold it up anymore.  Isn't that exciting???  Sigh.  I knew that this was going to happen... and at almost 40 pounds down it's high time... but... but...  My belly is starting to sag a little too.  Not as full of fat as it used to be... it's starting to look like I just gave birth and have that "mommy belly" except that I didn't just give birth.  Thus, I'm going to be amping up the strength training in hopes of firming.  I know that I'm going to have some sag, but I'd like to have as little as possible.  Is this where I start trying every stupid "firming" cream I can find?  Hmmmmmm.  Lol.  And you know the sad part?  4 years ago I didn't even weigh this much.  My skin had never stretched this far... much less another 40 pounds worth.  But you can't change the past and I'm more than thrilled with my progress thus far.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you all.  I did complete all of day 1, week 3, couch to 5k this afternoon.  I thought I was going to DIE!  It doubles the amount of jogging time from the previous week for 2 of the intervals!  I was proud of myself though, because I did not let myself adjust the speed any lower than what I had worked up to from the other weeks, and I left the incline at 1 (10%) throughout, despite my struggling.  Getting onto the elliptical afterwards was the LAST thing I wanted to do, but I made myself do it anyway (and completed above my set goal!).  After that intese workout, I took my son into the pool to splash around and let my muscles relax and stretch.  That felt truly amazing!

Grrrr!  Sag is a cruel and undeserved punishment for getting in shape.  I know I'm going to struggle with this too, pinkcobra, but that probably doesn't make you feel any better.  Please share any miracle serums that you come across!  I'm gonna need em!  In the long run though, I'd rather deal with sag than Type II Diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, joint pain, and all the other crap that goes along with being severly obese.  Amen?

yeah, i got a few saggies too. i tack as much of it down as possible with body shapers. i don't have time to let my droopies make me look bad in clothes. screw that! i'm hoping the strength training will help, but i doubt it, because it's a bunch of worn out skin. man, i screwed my body up. no point in beating myself up now, huh? so i won't.

i dragged myself to the gym and forced myself into another strength training session. i got through it, with jelly arms, but i did it. and i looked pretty hot! i saw myself in the mirror in the locker room, and i was surprised by how slim my arms are looking, and how much flatter my stomach is starting to look, and how i'm getting my shape back. i was absolutely giddy!

i love the gym!

mladdy--i just had to comment real quick that I agree with you--that I feel really hot & sexy and think I really look good after I work-out even if I do stink--lol! Hope everyone is having a great night!

wow how DO you keep up and congrats on getting under200. awesome. i havent been that small since i was11. i always assumed that the reason i coud never fall in love or let somebody really in (trust somebody) was not because i am fat. i thought it was cuz of the fact that my father cheated on my mother the whole time they were married. and my mother(is a nerd, hehe but i love her still) told me first. i will never forget in 2nd grade when she woke me to show me all the evidence she had on him. haha i told her to leave him and i could get child support. haha (yea i'm odd) but she didnt. she stayed with him till i was18 and out of school. she wanted me to grow up with 2 parents around. she made me laugh cuz he was never there. i use to tell her to leave him before he gave her aids or something cuz he never came home.  i figured that since  i didnt trust him i would never be able to trust anybody. never thought it might be some insecurity about my weight.

i am just jaded in  that area.   my weight might have a little to do with it. but than again, everybody is scared of having their heart broken right? but i think you only live once. live and experience everything to the fullest, pain and pleasure. and well, i never got asked out or had a boyfriend in school either. that never bothered me though cuz of all the teenage drama. honestly, i didnt even care for sex and stuff until i got out of high school. i think alcohol had lot to do with that. hehe

as for approaching guys, i asked my prom date out for my senoir prom. i WAS going to have a date and i WAS going with HIM cuz i liked him!! that simple. i broke another dudes heart, but he was fat and there was no way i  was going with him. haha such a double standard.(so bad!!).  i noticed that when i am drunk, i dont have a problem approaching guys. one day when i was sober i thought "i am the same person drunk or sober. why cant i talk to guys sober?"  than i realized i could.  i am not very modest or shy. sometimes way to honest and blunt.

 i am a huge flirt. we should be comfortable in our skin. we are who we are. thats it. even if we lose weight aren't we going to be 95% the same person with maybe 5% more confidence? whats stopping us from having the 5% now? NOTHING!!!

oh yea and i am done rodeoing. i gave my cuz my tix so that i could go to the bar and play with. too many couples and ppl in general at the rodeo and too much money. but i did go see my rascall flatts WOOHOO!!!!!!

Hey, I'm Kayla and I'm 20 turning 21 in about a week, I'm 180lbs, you're probably thinking not that bad, however I'm only 5'4 and I look heavy. My goal is to be about 140-150lbs

I was at my highest point 230lbs, however I was diagnosed with graves disease and lost 70lbs and am sad to say i gained 30 of it back, lost 10 and am risking gaining more back. The medication that I'm on is making it extremely hard to lose weight. I've been working out for about 3 months now and have only lost about 10lbs. I hadn't been eating healthy, but now that I am, it's still not working

So I hope you guys can serve as motivation to keep me going, even though it seems impossible.

Also Good Luck to all of you!

fallon, i asked my date to the prom too! well, actually, i didn't have a choice; i went to an all-girls' school! i kinda did it wrong though, because the guy i was madly, stupidly in love with wasn't the guy i went with. i was too terrified to ask him, even though everyone saw how into him i was and how much he liked me (which i couldn't imagine as true). so i asked some guy i was completely not into. i still regret not asking the guy i liked. in hindsight, he was TOTALLY into me. the things we do to ourselves....

i need to put this out there, since you spilled your guts so hard, fallon. for years, and probably now at least a little bit, i was totally against marriage b/c of my dad, too. he was married to another woman most of my life; he's still married for all i know. my mother was his mistress, and i just had no faith in marriage, if it ended up like that. as i got older, i witnessed a few marriages that looked healthy from the outside, but i'm still bruised from my mother and father's relationship, too.

edit: wow, i haven't thought about a lot of this stuff in years...who knew this would turn into some sort on online therapy session? i do have to admit, once i looked at the events in my life that utterly sucked, i concluded i was the only one who could stop me from being angry and bitter. i figured life was too short, and my mother wasn't getting any younger, and one day she'd be gone and i'd regret all the fighting. so i made myself let go of all the ugliness and sincerely forgive the negativity, and just start life fresh, on all fronts.

hi kayla! jump in, the water's fine!

So, ladies, what's your favorite body shaper and why?

Welcome Kayla!  We are at similar weights- i'm sitting at 181 right now.  hope you find this forum useful and supportive!

oh and Mladdy- AMEN!!!!!

(i think i'm on here too much!!)

my faves are from ashley stewart. they go from knee to right below my boobs, and suck everything in without distorting my shape. and no panty line! they work so well, sometimes i can wear a smaller size! although they can get a little tight, and i can't wear them with a short dress.

i was 5'4 or 5'5 in high school and got down to 201lbs and i wore a 14. ahh te little hooch skirts that i would wear. what  a slut i was.

and for the loud crazy drunk easy girl... uh... i'm at a loss. i have alwas been loud (get that from my pops) always been crazy(one day in10th grade i braided my  hair in first period and my bud tonya collected pencils and stuck them thru my braids. when i got home and took them out i had 23 pencils in my hair. yea i'm very special) hehehe.  i can honestly say that the only thing i do drunk that i dont do sober is drugs and i am getting so good at saying no. i havent smoked since last summer, but i was never big on smoking. and um easy.... i like sex. let me rephrase that. i LOVE sex!!!

 i dont know what it is. i dont care for commitment cuz i dont like having to answer to anybody. and i love variety plus uh... i have cheated on every boyfriend i have ever had and drinking didnt have much to do with any of it. and the thing is, after i cheat, i dont feel bad. i think its some sort of gene i got from my dad. haha yea i know.  i hate cuddling too. yuck!!! if i fall asleep with a guy when i wake up i will have kicked him out of the bed. i am very weird i tell you. and i am not just some big whore.. i dont think. hehe j/k. i have my dudes that i play with regularly.

dont get me wrong, if i see a hot guy and we are getting along i probably will do something. that is if he passes my tests. for instance, i hate kissing (yep weird again) he has to kiss me in a way that works. and if he passes that test... thean i have to make sure everything measures up. and if he doesnt, i have to be the blunt b**ch that i am.  i am so mean. " is it going to grow?" hahaha. yea i have said that quite a few times. i am blunt. whats he going to tell me, i'm fat?

like right now, i got this super hot perto rican calling me his baby momma. beautiful skin and awesome green eyes. but just by looking at him, i doubt he measures up. and if he cant give me what i need... it wont work. but hes a good kisser.  iam so sorry. i am a nympho. sex stays on my mind all the time. my mom gets made at me.

a body shaper? un no. i did have a bud 5'2 289lbs. she always wore skin tight spandexy-like pants. black. she thought that if she pulled them up all the way to her boobs she looked slimmer.  she would get mad at me and always pull my pants up to my boobs cuz ialways wear y pants below my waist. she goes everybody can see your gut. i told her i'ld rather everybody see my gut than a cameltoe covered by a gut.

shes so dumb. she's way bigger than me and she loved to call me fat and make fun of me. me being me it never bothered me. sheld be "like you need to go to the gym instead of the bar. you are getting fatter" i just ignore her. it never bothered me cuz she had a good 50lbs on me. figured she was jealous.  i was smaller and she had lost weight. we were both at 215lbs. she goes " i hate you!! we weigh the same but i  wear a 24 and you wear a 16. why do you get to look good and i still look fat?" i ignored that too cuz i was still fat. shes a drama queen.

anyways 1 night she was trying to be a bitch and make fun of me all night, (btw she has gained all if not more of her weight back). we were both tipsy and she was on a blind date. trying to make herself look good by insulting me. so i saw this chick that goes to the same gym. never talked to her before dont know her or anything. so  i told her blind date, " yea, me and that chick work out together. i use to be as big as irma.working out helps." everybody laughed t her. she didnt like that they were laughung at her and not me. the next day she told me i was mean and never wanted to talk to me again.  i told her that was fine and she was a hypocrite. she makes fun of me for 10yrs i make one joke and im the mean 1. hahaha too funny. but that was a great joke.

dalmal: I have to agree; what our parents do can really affect us for the rest of our lives but it's up to us how much per say we want it to affect us. For example, my mother has been through 3 divorces and had an affair on her last husband (that's when I stopped speaking to her---have some morals lady---she could have at least waited until she was divorced!) Anyways one day I just decided that I couldn't let her garbage determine how my mood or life would be--My hubby & I talked a lot about marriage and my fears that I had--I had lots of fears that marriage wouldn't work out--but hubby and I communicated all that out--and he knows all about that--and we decided to get married--I'm glad I did--I have no regrets and I don't think that just because my mother had 3 divorces  means that my marriage won't last---I think if anything I have learned from her mistakes and learned that I want to try harder--and will give it all I have--Marriage is not easy--it's a lot of work but I love my husband too much not to try!

I didn't go to my prom--and I don't regret it---(It's not because of my weight either) I'm just not into "big events" I don't like parties, I don't like anything with a big crowd--I'm a more small intimate 3 to 6 people --come to my house or I go to your house kind of girl--or let's go out to eat kind of girl (lol) that kind of thing! My mother told me I would regret it but I don't--don't feel like I missed out at all!

And as far as body shapers--I never used them---I remember one time in high school I felt so fat and I had tried to get skinny before I had to be in-front of a big crowd of people but I didn't--so instead ( I know girls this is bad) I duck taped my stomach--it was the most painful and stupid thing that I did! I don't care to use body-shapers either just don't find them comfortable and I like to wear lose clothes anyways---

Hope you ladies are having a great night!

i've never used one either, but my friend swears by spanx.  of course, she's already 120 pounds and just wears them to smooth everything out.

hey ladies!  have been up for about 21 hours so i'm gonna go crash but wanted to catch up before hitting the sack.  just got back from a friend's bday and had a lot of fun so i'm a little more cheerful.  going to a friend's bridal shower and dinner with my bff (who is moving away!) tomorrow so it'll be a busy but fun day. hope you all are having an amazing weekend!

so i went for the bday dinner today and it was the first time that i sat around with a table full of people eating dessert and did no regret not having a single bite.  whoever said "nothing tastes better than being thin" was right.  i just kept thinking, i want to be healthier and thinner and this momentary pleasure is so not worth it.  today anyway :)  i knew i might have some cake tomorrow anyway at the bridal shower and that i have weight watchers ice cream bars in the fridge that are only 100 calories so no need for the 1000 calorie items that accomplish the same thing.  that's a new turning point, a chage in me, etc.

by the way, i dunno if any of you have tried this but i ordered these grilled chicken skewers from our middle eastern restaurant.  the place closes at 5 pm so after 3, everything is half priced.  so i got each skewer (of 5 pieces) for just $1.75. although the grilled chicken can be kinda dry, i dipped the pieces into some BBQ sauce and it was SO amazing.  i've now found my new dream diet food.  seriously, i could eat tons and tons of chicken so happily with just a little bit of that stuff, where as i usually don't like grilled chicken b/c i think it's too blah/plain.

pc, i have worn one of those tummy tuck like garments/girdle thingie to keep the stomach area in place.  they really do work.  have not worn the whole body suit thing that some people do though.... lemme know if it works.  i never wear very tight clothes underneath so i dunno about camel toe and stuff.  i never had that. also, this won't help with the sagginess but i do recommend using cocoa butter for the stretch marks.  it helps your skin to not itch as much and reduces some of the marks.  i've been using it for a while.  i too have hanging skin that is only increasing by the day -- am going to get a mini tummy tuck when all this is said and done.  it's 6k though, yikes!  am hoping i can work my arms and legs with the weights and that my chest will sort itself out!  LOL.

mladdy, your hitting below 200 really made my day today.  i know you started off at around where my next goal is (230s) so i felt like wow, that's just 2 goals away from where i am today.  made me feel so great to think, i can do this cuz she IS doing this.  ya'all are keeping me going! 

dalma, no worries about posting so much.  i do the same when i need to vent/talk about something/worry about something -- often times, despite the fact that i've already visited the topic before!!  we're here for each other. and great job with the working out and weights!  don't you love noticing new little indentations or places where you're body is getting flatter?  it makes my day :)

speaking of topics i've already visited, 4 bags full of clothes to be donated this weekend, YAY!  going to try to go through my closet and come up with about 2 more on sunday :)  also gonna try to do weights and get some swimming in or something tomorrow morning before the shower (which is at 11).  night ya'all!