Health & Support

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

i eat when i'm already full and it annoys me.  i read the rest of the posts on this page and it seems like a bunch of you do the same.  one thing thats different though is that i dont eat a million things in an hour anymore.  i used to. then i started eating healthfully, lost about 10 pounds, and tapered off.  for quite a few months i've hovered around the same weight.  for the last few weeks though, i'll eat, and a half hour later i'll eat again.  an hour after that, i have a craving for a food and eat a whole serving (or two or three...) of that.  an hour after that, its something else again.  the past few days i stop myself and say, "i'm not hungry. wait and eat it tomorrow." but five minutes later i eat it anyway. i end up eating three or four dinners. (and i do eat breakfast and lunch) ARGGGGGH!  i don't know what to do.

missabear, what I do sometimes in the evening after I've had my normal dinner and get that urge to binge is that I make a solemn, sincere promise to myself that I will allow myself to binge the next morning as soon as I wake up if I avoid the binge this evening.  Well, this trick has not failed me yet--when I wake up the next morning the binge desire is gone. And I usually say something to myself like "What are you, nuts?  You're gonna eat that for breakfast? Forget it!"

Worse case scenario, if you do indulge in the binge for breakfast, it's still not as bad healthwise--and waistline wise--as binging before you go to sleep.

thanks agimwinba, i'll give it a shot.  

AHHH CONFESSIONAL TIME.

I just binged again.

-ate nutelle by the spoonfull (probably like 5 tablespoons so 500 calories)
-some walnuts (again TONS of calories)
-2 cookies
-some mini rice cakes
-soup
-creamsicle
-1/2 cup ice cream
-couple mouthfuls of spagetti

|'m so confused on why in the back of my mind, I actually want to binge, to just eat whatever I want and as much as want..

It's scary, disgsting and horrible, because I know the feelings of guilt and shame, and self hatred that follow after doing it.. It's so sick, and it makes me feel so sick of myself. And confused. =[

0vercoming food addictions is so hard. It's not something you can completely get rid of, like alcohol or drugs. Because you have to eat to live. And my relationship with food is so f__cked up because sometimes I don't eat to live.
Binging must stimulate something pleasurable in my brain, like what drugs do or something. Maybe that's why I subconciously always want to do it again...?

Yeah, I've been binging most of this week. My mom and I eat seperate food (I'm 17 and still live with her) so I go ahead and eat my food. But then when she leaves for work at 10 I go downstairs and shove my face full of food. She also bought me some icecream and of course i had many spoonfuls of that. I hate the way I feel after I shove my face full of food , but I love the way I feel when I'm eating the food. Its been my "friend" for a long time. And its hard to let go. I also want to save money and I know that is basically the same as restraining myself from food. I have a job for the summer and I'm really scared because anytime I get money in my pocket I spend it on food, and while it may seem impossible I know that I would find a way to spend all $1200 on food.  I need to control this food addiction, but I also need help. And I feel like my mom is always sabotaging me, and she doesn't care.

I hate to point fingers, but obesity run in our family and she gave me no kind of advantage over it. I feel like she taught me at a young age to depend on food. The only time we actually spent anytime together was when we were eating. I never had any friends so I would sit at home eat, and play video games. And then I remember when I was in fifth grade and went to the doctors. The doctor said I was obese, and I thought it was funny. My mom didn't do anything about it, she kept buying the same foods and we continued on with our lifestyles.

Then I remember the first time I HAD to get a size twenty pants, and she could tell I was about to cry. She said, "I told you so." That made me SOOOOO angry. She always just sat back and let things happen. She was never really proactive in my life.

And then I finally decided at 17 in September to do something about it. I had the means to do something about it. (I never really knew what losing weight was all about. I just thought I was supposed to starve myself to skinny) And I finally convinced her to do it. But now every time she falls off the wagon, she'll buy a whole bunch of junk food. and when she goes to work I stuff my face with it once again. And while I know I can't blame her 100% for my weight problems, I feel apalled that she thinks that not even 1% is her responsibility. Kids just don't grow up and decide they will like vegetables and eat considerable calories everyday, their parents introduce it to them, and then they take it on themselves. I never got that opportunity. I was raised on fast food and insults.

Its just frustrating, its like we enable each other to eat badly and I really want to control my food addiction. I really want to be 170 lbs by Senior prom. I really want to get to my goal of 145 lbs. I really want to succeed!

Well, good luck to all of you struggling with this, I of course feel your pain.

oh. binged again tonight after doing so well all day. why did i ruin it? and now i have my sister's graduation party tomorrow where there will be all kinds of fatty foods. i was so tired and on my way to bed and i just stopped in the kitchen and of course had to eat. some leftover pizza, some reese's ice cream bites, some cereal (not as much as yesterday though), rest of chex mix, a fiber one bar, and grapes. well, at least it wasn't as bad as yesterday. i ate mostly fruit and an asian salad with grilled chicken from mcdonalds today and a low fat chicken dinner from t.g.i. fridays for dinner, but i still binged tonight and i am so angry. i am so tired of this but it's not changing. will definitely need to work out tomorrow morning now... i will try that trick where i will try telling myself that i will binge in the morning. hopefully that will work.

im binging in this moment

im sick...

bmissabear2: i do that too, and i know how you feel. today, however, i staved off a huge craving by going outside and biking. sometimes physical activity helps to subdue the craving and also helps you be active. what agimwinba said works too, and ive done that before. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.. sometimes you feel like you just want to get it out of the way, but its more reasonable not to. i wish you the best!

karliann: i think you should strive to cut out certain foods in your diet daily, so if you do binge, you can at least avoid some foods. or, perhaps, plan to go out for a hike tomorrow: something that takes up most of the day where you have to pack certain foods to eat, and not eat conveniently. like i mentioned, i find that physical activity works for me. if i feel like binging because im upset (just a hypothetical), i try to go to sleep or run upstairs and go online. remember yourself in all of this.

aio: i feel the same way.. and it IS scary. its scary to realize that you're capable of doing such a thing.. it is a hard thing to control, and many people do not realize it, even my family. its hard to eat to live, though i strive to live under that philosphy. binging is like, a fest of good foods and tasty treats.. and its indulgence. we all like to indulge.. we just dont know how to control it sometimes. i hope you dont binge, though, and if you do, realize that its okay and dont be so hard on yourself. its always important to get back on the wagon.

nycolea: i used to be obese, and i can somewhat say that my family contributed to some of it. they fed me meat and all that i liked on a daily basis regularly, and i enjoyed every bit of it.. but it all changed when i independently decided to become a vegetarian. i had to be stalwart on it, though, and really show my family that i meant what i said. sometimes it works to separate yourself and really work towards a better life. i know that it may not be the same for you, and that the ordeal with your mother is difficult to deal with. if there is anyway you can hide what she hides or convince her to hide it, that would be a start. or, whenever she leaves the house, you can go outside or do something very productive to keep away from the food. if you feel up to the challenge, take some of the food she buys that you would regularly binge on (in very small portions) and sit them in front of you for an hour, then gradually increase the time they sit in front of you, and maybe portions. this may be risky, but you should not eat anything you sit in front of you (thats why you start very small). take this time to control yourself. im not sure what else to say, but i hope you and your mother can finally come to a strong consensus.

mikeiscool: i wish you the best tomorrow. try not to be so hard on yourself.. as long as you are willing to try again to overcome this, that is what matters. maybe buy some chewing gum to chew on while youre at the party? it helps to keep me occupied. and if you are to binge in the morning, at least leave some room for later in the day in case you really have to eat something. eat something fibrous, maybe? good luck!

dona06: sick how? you dont have to binge to get away from things.. remember what you want and how binging may make you feel afterwards. i hope you take care :/

as for me.. i feel good today. this is day two or three without a binge, and i just baked vegan things that i resisted eating. that is a huge step for me. i hope everyone stays well.

p.s. i also found that to stop binging, i try to taste a little teaspoon or less of vanilla. the taste really kills my tastebuds and mood t obinge.

(edit: add tip?)

hello everyone. good luck today. i am determined not to binge and hopefully i won't. thank you all for your advice. it's a brand new month and hopefully a brand new start. take care.

I really hate myself right now.  I binged so bad last night, and I feel awful.  The thing is, I've been binging over the course of the last few weeks, and now my pants feel tight again. 

I really don't know what to do.  I'm an actress on a tv show, and we're filming tomorrow.  The camera adds 10 pounds, and I really don't need that pressure!  AHHH!!!!  Help!

I really hate myself right now.  I binged so bad last night, and I feel awful.  The thing is, I've been binging over the course of the last few weeks, and now my pants feel tight again. 

I really don't know what to do.  I'm an actress on a tv show, and we're filming tomorrow.  The camera adds 10 pounds, and I really don't need that pressure!  AHHH!!!!  Help!

sorry, double post. 

are you stressed or anything? we all binge for a number of reasons.. i binge when im depressed, stressed, or bored, and others for other reasons. i can only hope and advise you to find the root of the cause of your binging and try tackling it with other activities. i know its a common piece of advice, but it works and its the simplest. and try not to be so hard on yourself; we're all growing and trying our best.

do you binge on what you make or "buy"? perhaps you could make a pact to only buy things to eat from a certain "healthy" store, or eat only what you make (better if youre a very bad cook or take a long time to cook).

im not sure how you can get rid of that weight.. just start eating normally and healthily as soon as you can, even if it is after a binge! it is always best to get right back up after you fall. if youre concerned about how you look on camera, see if you can wear some darker colors? i wish you the best :x

I've binged almost everyday this week, including today, and now I feel like s***. I keep telling myself I NEED to get in shape (I figure skate), but my motivation's just gone walkabouts. I'm up almost a stone since last week, and I'm OVER my starting weight from MONTHS ago. I wish I had the disipline to purge - but I don't. So now I'm stuck sitting here looking at my stomach bulging over my jeans. Ugh.

do not purge: its not really a matter of discipline.. believe me, ive tried, and even though i cant throw up voluntarily at all, its painful and does more harm to your body than good.

why have you binged this week? i can only hope you can find a new hobby or distraction.. perhaps plan some hikes or outgoins with your friends and/or family? since i dont know why, id only advise you to keep away from foods, and to only eat what you prepack for yourself. for example, for lunch i dont eat anything out of the container of food i prepare, and when i get hungry, i use my handy dandy waterbottle and gulp down a few gulps.

like ive said before, remember yourself in this, and what your goal is, and dont be so hard on yourself! even when you binge or fall, just get right back up and restart your diet asap. or, as someone mentioned earlier, plan a binge day weekly, because we're all making progress and dealing with struggles. maybe that can give you something to look forward to and give you more control. we're all trying here, and so id wish you didnt feel so bad. you can do this!

Yeah dont puke, it becomes a habit. Im such a hypocrite, because thats what i just did, its horrible.

hey to all u purgers....is it normal to not be able to purge after purging too many times? coz i vomited 3 weeks in a row once daily and got coldsores from it coz it's winter and so i stopped and wasn't able to purge until 1 or 2 weeks after.

and ur face swells from it and plus i get bleeding noses from it. is this normal?

argggh stupid wedding cummin up this weekend. and i'm the ONLY BRIDESMAID...lets hope i fit the dress still...gaaah

I have been surfing this post for quite a while, but have been too nervous to post. Nervous about what I am unsure. 

I have been binging for almost two years now. Everytime I get off a bad binge, I decide to try some yo yo dieting. They never work out. Anyway, after this last binge I have decided to go on a liquid diet. I know it is bad for me and I know that in the end it will only slow my metabolism, but I find myself afraid of food now. I want to eat more than anything, but I am terrified that if I do, I will not stop until I have that sick feeling. For me that takes about 2500-3000 calories in a sitting. Mind you I am only 5'1.

Does anyone have any suggestions, or has anyone else ever had this fear?

Definitely, I am a binger. Sunday, my older sis came over, and for some reason I couldn't stop eating. I knew what was happening, but I couldn't stop myself. And yesterday, I did the same thing, after I spent a sleepless night promising to myself I wouldn't do that again. Binging is why I have to keep losing the same pounds, for some reason I lose a couple, and then I'll binge for a couple days and go right back up.

So today, I'm trying very hard not to binge, and I keep my water bottle with me so I'll keep drinking, but I'm going to have to do what I would used to do to keep myself from eating: knitting.

That probably sound stupid, but it works. My family is a big t.v. watcher, so of course I am also, and it's usually after dinner that it comes on and I start wanting food. So, before, whenever I would be working on something, I would knit in front of the t.v., and I would be so absorbed in the knitting that I would lose any cravings. So, if anyone has a hobby like that, knitting, crocheting, something small that you can do sitting down, try and do that whenever you get a craving.