Health & Support

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

Hi everyone! I am a binger. What strarted as a great metabolism and huge appetite turned into college (beer, pizza, beer...) and NO metablolism. Now Im in the real world and facing everyday as it comes...

So, Ive been really on track the past month and a half (can remember each binge/food...which is a good sign for me.)

But last night was bad. I got the bright idea to bake something "healthy" for the girls in my office. I went to the William Sonoma site and found these delicious "nutty jumbles"... I was like, yummy, lots of healthy nuts. and Ill use splenda and egg whites instead of the whole egg. I also decided to walk to the grocery store to buy the supplies (2 miles...golf claps)

Well, knowing my track record, I know better than to bake by myself... First there was a LARGE pre-bite before it was cooked. and then, a few fresh out of the oven nibbles. break. back to the kitchen sticking my spoon in the fridge. and then screw it, me standing in the kitchen devouring it out of the pan...until it was gone...That is like 3000 calories in one sitting! OMG I was devastated. I couldnt even sleep because I was so upset. I just kept trying to imagine the pounds packing on.

So, Its the next morning. Im still feeling the guilt, but it is a new day. I drank green tea before work, and Im about to have some kashi coatmeal. I am also going take off work early and go hike the hollywood sign!!! So, baby steps...but I just hate the way the memory is still nagging me.

Thanks for listening, and any moral support would be appreciated!

Hi Dozienc.... don't beat yourself up over that one slip.  You said that you've been good for a month and a half so this one binge won't break you!  I've been binging and I'm really trying to stop this!

If your binge was 3000 cals just remember that it STILL doesn't even equal a pound (a pound is 3500 calories).  Try to make light of it and pick up where you left off!

Good luck!

i feel so bad right now!!i had a 1/2 order of biscuits and gravy for breakfast, 2 peices of cheese pizza from pizza hut for lunch, and 2 peices of pepperoni pizza from pizza hut for dinner!!that's like 2 times more than what i normally eat...oh well, i guess i can just start over and do better tomorrow!lol

teenstar14, what you're eating is not a binge.  It's a normal eating amount.  Heck, although unhealthy, it's less than what I'd normally be eating.

I still remember the day of my biggest binge.  One day, I had $20 in my pocket and resolved to spend the entire $20 on food.  So I walked around town and went to all the cafes and kept eating one after the other.  That was my purpose that day.  To eat.  I started around 10 AM and had a muffin ($2) at one store, a scone ($2) at another, 3 mini-muffins ($2) at another, followed by a large milkshake ($4) at an ice cream parlor, a calzone ($6) at an Italian place (a late lunch by then), an ice cream cone ($1) at another ice cream parlor, a blended fruit smoothie ($3) at yet another ice cream parlor, and then I ran out of money.  Then I went home around 4 PM, and later had dinner with my family.  That was really bad.  

On my binges, I eat anywhere from 1000-3000 calories, and that's not including my regular meals.  There's been times when I would binge everyday for a week or two, then get back to eating normally, then binge again several weeks later.  There's also been times when I would binge 1-2 times a week every week.  Sometimes I feel like I've been cured, but it always creeps back.  At this point, I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll always have relapses, so I try to prepare myself beforehands.  Like I'll have 'planned' binges, where I'll go to the store and buy a 7 oz. bag of chips, and when I get home, I'll eat the whole 500-1000 calorie bag in one sitting.  I try to substitute low-fat versions for higher-fat stuff, like reduced-fat chips instead of the regular version.  So I guess in a way, I do limit my binges, in that once the food is gone, the binge has to stop.  By then I'm too lazy and too full to go out and buy more food.  I also try to munch on sugar-free mints in an effort to curb binges (sometimes I'll end up eating a whole canister in one day, but that's a lot better than a whole bag of chips).

hi.

i have lost a significant amount of weight due to proper diet and working out and for several months, running and/or elliptical machine training. i lift weights now and of course, i find i am hungry a LOT more.

unfortunately, i have a binge eating disorder which makes me feel guilty about any and ALL food i eat with the exception of fish, vegetables and non-cream sauces. everything else, and i do mean everything, makes me feel obesity is lurking in my very near future.

i know it is unreasonable... so tonight i am going to my first OA meeting and trying to figure out why i am doing this. i am scared about the "higher power" thing and the fact that already my one familiar face in this group wants to give thanks to God every other second. bleh.

i know that i can beat this damn thing. does anyone else see a group or go to a shrink? did it help you? lastly, i guess my main issue is not screwing up my whole eating plan for one day of a tiny lunch mess-up. i do this whole "forget it, i am eating EVERYTHING!" deal which really DOES make me feel suicidal and hopeless.

sigh. i feel like i am way more screwed up than anyone else.

Hi everyone I am a binger/compulsive over-eater.  I'm on day 2 of being binge free. Small victory yes but it's baby steps to a bigger victory.

For anyone who loves the Lord I suggest this site

http://www.activatelife.org/compulsive-overea ting.html

I printed out the 25 truths and have looked over them these past two mornings.

I'd been so good at watching my calories since I have an important motivator to lose some weight - my wedding is in 38 days and my gown fits just a teensy bit tight - and I'd been having some cravings but figured if I ignored them, they'd just go away. After all, when mid-afternoon cravings strike, I don't allow myself to eat junk...

Well, yesterday I found myself at the mall having to stall for time for an appointment running late, decided to run a few errands and suddenly had the urge for greasy nachos and a sugary oreo frappuccino (stupid food court smells and good food associations!). After MUCH deliberation I decided to allow myself one or the other (which I shouldn't have done, I know, I was being so good)... and then of course, I ended up having the two of them one right after the other.

This never happened when I wasn't taking conscious care of my eating - I hate it, it made me feel incredibly guilty and yes, it set me back 1.8 lbs. (most likely most of it water gain since both were small servings, but still...). I never thought of myself as a "binger" but I've reconsidered since this had never happened to me before and it WAS a binge. I CANNOT let cravings and food urges rule over my good common sense! I'm so angry at myself... I feel better today and doing well on today's calories but I'm scared of losing control and focus again.

I'd been so good at watching my calories since I have an important motivator to lose some weight - my wedding is in 38 days and my gown fits just a teensy bit tight - and I'd been having some cravings but figured if I ignored them, they'd just go away. After all, when mid-afternoon cravings strike, I don't allow myself to eat junk...

Well, yesterday I found myself at the mall having to stall for time for an appointment running late, decided to run a few errands and suddenly had the urge for greasy nachos and a sugary oreo frappuccino (stupid food court smells and good food associations!). After MUCH deliberation I decided to allow myself one or the other (which I shouldn't have done, I know, I was being so good)... and then of course, I ended up having the two of them one right after the other.

This never happened when I wasn't taking conscious care of my eating - I hate it, it made me feel incredibly guilty and yes, it set me back 1.8 lbs. (most likely most of it water gain since both were small servings, but still...). I never thought of myself as a "binger" but I've reconsidered since this had never happened to me before and it WAS a binge. I CANNOT let cravings and food urges rule over my good common sense! I'm so angry at myself... I feel better today and doing well on today's calories but I'm scared of losing control and focus again.

yeah so i definatley had a major binge today, and it was all conscious. i think i know why though. i felt guilty for eating too many calories at breakfast, and that guilt carried on for the entire day. i knew why i was binging and i just couldnt stop. but its okay, i mean, ive lost a couple pounds for prom, and one day will not kill me. tomorrow i have a track meet, and ive always been told to pack up on carbs the night before so you have energy for the next day, so hopefully my binge didnt go to waste....

I binged today, hugely.  I had about 1400 calories but on the way home I was tired and lonely and ended up probably eating another 2500 calories.  I have no hope for dating anymore because nothing ever works out.  A little altruism and ethics would be nice to find in someone but with the demoralization of America in the last twenty years, I think my chances are slim.  I am 48 yrs old and I know my time is running out.  This is why I binge - because I am angry, sad, scared, tired, all of those things.  I don't have any hope.  I don't have any support.  I am 143 lbs now which isn't too bad for a 5'5" frame but it is getting worse - the binge eating, I mean.  I know I should prepare 3 meals a day, and plan for emergency stress situations where I could binge on vegies instead.  I also know if I started running again in the mornings for 1 hour or 45 minutes, it would help.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I am worried about becoming obese and being discriminated against by employers and dating partners.

I think I should join this thread... in the last year I lost 30-35 lbs, but in the last month or so I've really had trouble with keeping it up. I've binged almost every day. I haven't gone to the gym. I've been eating well all day and then at night I just HAVE to run to Duane Reade and buy a bag of Doritos or Smartfood. It's happened about half the days of the last two weeks. I'm really worried about it but I don't know how to stop these cravings. They come when I'm bored, they come when I'm stressed, they ESPECIALLY come when I'm doing schoolwork and just want something to munch on. I know a lot of it is emotional. I just don't know how to handle it. It's kind of scary, kind of draining. But being able to just eat an entire bag of Smartfood comforts me somehow. I can't just eat some of it then put it away. It's like torture. And I can't help but buy it. I don't know what to do at all. My roommate is good with eating right, and we were doing it together for the last year, but now she's still doing well with occasional lapses, while I'm lapsing but occasionally doing well.

*Sigh*. I don't know what to do about it, but it feels kind of nice to get it out at least. I've been hiding it a lot.

im curious to see if anyone else out there binges because they ruined their "perfect day". for example i will binge at night and say, it's ok tomorrow i will be perfect i wont over eat ill have 3 meals and normal snacks and ill be fine, but as soon as i eat something real bad (like a few cookies) i say fu** it! and just shovel anything i can find in my mouth, and then the viscious cycle begins again..i say i'll be good tomorrow. because of my bingeing i am a compulsive excerciser, i cant even have a normal social life because i have to spend at LEAST 5 days a week in the gym, if only i could have normal eating habits. honestly, does anyone out there have a normal relationship with food (i.e. eats when hungry, stops when full and doesnt think about food constantly) because i would really be interested in hearing their thoughts on food! i am normal weight, maybe even a little small (5'0 102 pounds) but bingeing isnt even about weight to me its about so much more that i just cant pin point!

lessthan100,i know EXACTLY what you mean about the thinking fuck it and shoveling everything in and how i tell myself i will have a perfect day tomorow but i never do. im also not overweight or anything but i just hate the mindset i get in when im binging...its not rigt and i just want to overcome it.

"lessthan100,i know EXACTLY what you mean about the thinking fuck it and shoveling everything in and how i tell myself i will have a perfect day tomorow but i never do. im also not overweight or anything but i just hate the mindset i get in when im binging...its not rigt and i just want to overcome it."

me too. there are so many people out there that have this problem yet everyone like the government just seems to be ignoring it :\

i always think after 2 days of not binging i can start to control it but then i eat just one thing then the cravings start and meh it happens even though i know i'm gonna regret it after.

today (April 15th) i had muesli (5 handfuls), cheerios (3 handfuls)  weetabix minis ( 2 handfuls) apple, pear, orange, 250g milk chocolate, yoghurt, 50g raisins, chocolate cheesecake, then roast dinner.

i cant remember if i had anything else, it's 2am in the morning :\

lessthan100, I know what you're talking about.  It's really bad to think that way, and I used to do it too.  I would often binge eat, then exercise for like 3 hours and/or starve the next day.  I would always tell myself, 'it's okay to eat 2000 cal now because I'll be burning it all off', or 'tomorrow I won't eat anything so it's fine to eat whatever I want now'.  That's a really bad way of thinking, and it's also a form of bulimia.  I think eating regular meals help curb the binges, because then you won't be starving yourself all day and binging at night, and you'll be looking forward to eating the next day (ie, this is not going to be your last meal on earth).

I struggle with binging from 5:00 pm until 7:00. I know this sounds odd, but my binge begins in my head on the way home from work when I start thinking about what is in the refrigerator or cabinet to eat. Most days I come in the front door, pat the dog, kiss my husband, walk straight to the kitchen and get a bite of something before I put my bag down...I continue to take bites - huge bites and gulps for the next two hours while I am fixing dinner, etc. I have calculated that I eat at least 1000 calories some days. It makes me crazy and I feel stuffed all the time - not to mention the excess pounds. My past effort to control this out of control eating is to keep gum in my mouth...often I will eat around the gum - yuck. My new effort is to use the Crest white strips - I put the strips on my teeth when I pull into the driveway. This is allowing me to wait at least 30 minutes before I start to chew. So far it has helped. I still eat my way through dinner preparation, but the mindless walk to the fridge is a little better.

I have been binging more often for the past two months or so. Like once or twice a week.

I did it again yesterday. I did a basic calculation and it was around 5000.

I felt awful and cried to my mom after. I am trying to work my way through an eating diorder that is not exactly anorexia, binge eating disorder, or bulima. A bit of each I guess.

I just need support. Please help.

Eurgh,Just been binging so badly on granola...feel like shit...eurgh!

Hate the binge monster...hate hate htae...and i had been doing so well..

I'm going to an ED anonymous meeting tonight...I have to admit that I'm scared and don't know what to expect...I feel like everyone there won't understand me or that everyone there is anorexic or bulemic and there won't be any compulsive overeaters/bingers. I felt the urge to binge earlier but it passed. thank God. Ugh..I'm leaving now...wish me luck

**edit...went and no one was there...soo nevermind

God after reading all these posts I realize that I'm not crazy and not alone..

Does anyone ever eat more around certain people, and less around others?  For instance, when I'm with my boyfriend, I eat regular amounts and I'm satisfied.  Then...tonight I went to dinner with my dad and ate 2/3 of our pizza appetizer (I looked it up, the pizza's like 640 calories!) and then my ENTIRE dinner! Dinner was a seafood caesar salad which I think the seafood was cooked in butter and while the dressing was on the side, it was definitely not light. 

It's so frustrating!  3/4 of my day I eat healthy, Lots of fruits and veggies, lean protein, carbs, and then all of a sudden I inhale my salad in 5 minutes.  Or I'll be at a party and they'll order pizza.  I'll eat a piece, plus the candy lying out, and all of a sudden..BOOM!  there's 700 calories!

I hate it because you try so hard 80% of the time, but it's the 20% that's preventing you from losing if not helping you gain. 

Why is it that I know all of this, yet can't control it? 

Any suggestions??  Anything...really.