The Lounge

So, I am a nerd who loves dumb humor. Send  any and all dopey jokes that you know...to put a smile on everyone's face.

Mine (true story): So I am driving with my friend and we pass a huge corn field in the middle of July. I say, "Hey look, Corn stalks!" and she replies, "Corn stalks? That's funny, cause they don't stalk me!"

Ah I love puns.

Wee Todd Did

I'm Wee Todd Did

I'm Sofa King Wee Todd Did

My co-worker told this one to me, and he thought it was hilarious!

What do you call a brown chicken and a brown cow?

"Brownchickenbrowncow" (but you have to say it quick enough so it sounds like bow chicka bow wow)

He laughed at it for days :)

of course I have more... These are my Dad's favorites:

What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas!

What did Delaware?  A New Jersey!

Did you hear about the Mohel that charged no fee?

He worked for tips.

Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game?

 There was a face-off in the corner.
_______

What has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it drops out of a tree, it'll kill you?

A pool table.
_______

LMAO pool table XD

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towl on his head. 

The bartender asks, "Hey man, what's with the paper towl?"

The pirate replies, "Arghh, I have a bounty on me head!"

-------------------------------------------

Two cannibals go to a circus.  They are having a bite to eat and one cannibal says to the other, "Hey, does this clown taste funny to you?"

I don't know why but this joke was really funny when I was 13.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead."

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

It was attached to the first one.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

Thought it was a game.

Hey did you hear about the dyslexic that went to a toga party dressed as a goat? 

"How much will a Snickers bar cost after the nuclear war?"

"???"

"6 rubles"

"Why 6?"

"Doesn't matter. What's important is that it's rubles!"

What's green & white and red all over?

A frog in a blender.