Young Calorie Counters

It seems every young woman in America today (or at least on this site) is more concerned with losing weight, "achieving" a flat tummy, or shrinking their thighs to 13" around than they are with understanding and loving themselves.

It is scary reading most of the posts in this forum. Adolescent girls wanting to capture their prepubescent bodies before they (God forbid) gain some curves, ladies comparing their tiny body measurements to one another's, and starving themselves into a size 2.

What's scarier is seeing the support these girls get from the other brainwashed teens. Yes, I understand that some teenagers are legitimately overweight and have been advised to lose weight by a doctor; but I do not understand why (or how) some girls think every woman's body is supposed to fit a 5'7" 125pound mold. Most bodies were not meant to look like that. To try to force it is just asking for problems.

Every individual is unique and beautiful and one should not strive to have someone else's body. It's a never ending cycle of self-deprivation, guilt, and comparisons that every blindsided teen is captured in.

What I want from you beautiful people who are reading this is to stand up against the pressure to conform to the media's perception of beauty. Recognize what is beautiful in you and be an influence to struggling, confused young women.

My input:

My measurements are not the focus, but don't think I'm someone who gives the "big is beautiful" speech every time someone pokes my chub just to make myself feel better. Truthfully, I am 5'6" and 120 pounds. I was heavier in the past, but found that when I started loving myself for how I'm made, the weight came off. Without the stress and preoccupation of not eating this or that, I was able to focus on being healthy and taking care of myself.

I love my womanly figure, my narrow waist and big hips. I have thick, muscular thighs and a round face, but they are perfect. I can grab a big handful of muffin top and skip stones in the ripples my legs make when I run, but I know I am healthy and beautiful. I love my body.

My point by saying it's easy for her to post something like her first post is that at her weight and height, she still seems to be suffering from the same media influences and body dismorphia she denounces by imagining she has "handfuls of muffin tops" and supposed gigantic ripples in her legs.  It seemed ironic to me.  I think that everyone has issues with their bodies, but to be her height and weight (which, btw, I have nothing to be bitter about as I am 5'7'' and 130 - taller and a little curvier), and pass judgment on how others feel about their bodies for not being thinner or taller seems a little wrong to me. 

It's very easy if you are blessed with certain "stats" to pass judgment on the mindsets of those that don't have them.  It would be interesting to see whether she would believe the same things about body image if she had grown up with an obesity problem or, more extremely, a physical deformity.  I think if I was 300 lbs. or had some other factor that made me less physically attractive than the media stereotype of beauty, it would make me angry if someone 5'6'' and 120 lbs. tried to preach to me about "happiness lies within." 

I just don't believe it's right to pass judgment on the mindsets of others.  ESPECIALLY, if certain adages may be easier for you to believe than for others because you have never had to deal with the hardships they have.

Original Post by aerogers:

My point by saying it's easy for her to post something like her first post is that at her weight and height, she still seems to be suffering from the same media influences and body dismorphia she denounces by imagining she has "handfuls of muffin tops" and supposed gigantic ripples in her legs. It seemed ironic to me. I think that everyone has issues with their bodies, but to be her height and weight (which, btw, I have nothing to be bitter about as I am 5'7'' and 130 - taller and a little curvier), and pass judgment on how others feel about their bodies for not being thinner or taller seems a little wrong to me.

It's very easy if you are blessed with certain "stats" to pass judgment on the mindsets of those that don't have them. It would be interesting to see whether she would believe the same things about body image if she had grown up with an obesity problem or, more extremely, a physical deformity. I think if I was 300 lbs. or had some other factor that made me less physically attractive than the media stereotype of beauty, it would make me angry if someone 5'6'' and 120 lbs. tried to preach to me about "happiness lies within."

I just don't believe it's right to pass judgment on the mindsets of others. ESPECIALLY, if certain adages may be easier for you to believe than for others because you have never had to deal with the hardships they have.

Like I said in my original post, I used to be heavier and yes, I have dealt with body image issues and disordered eating in the past.

The point of my topic was to show everyone that, no matter what jiggles on me or what is available to poke, I have found happiness and satisfaction with myself.

Eating disorders generally come from having negative feelings about oneself. Obesity has roots in emotional eating or finding happiness in food (not to say those are the only reasons people become obese). Eating disorders like anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa typically develop due to poor self esteem and negativity towards oneself--whether that is attributed to the media, family, friends, or the own sufferer's mind.

So my point is: to find happiness and peace within yourself will fight the demons whispering horrible things in your ear. A little light always conquers darkness.

Original Post by aloysius:

Original Post by garnet18:

and so those are not real people?

they are. the world is ruled by people. it's all us.

the people in the media are only doing their jobs. they provide us with entertainment, and i, personally, am grateful.

I don't want to start a mud-slinging contest, but you're really coming off as a tad ignorant, and while it's true, that humans are running this supermassive entity we're labeling "the media," it's also true that it's a source of brainwashing, the target being society in general.

As human beings, we're easily influenced by external stimulus - coinciding with human behaviour and preying upon our fears and what we perceive as wants and needs, the "media," whether it be television, radio, videogames or the newspaper, can target us and tell us what it thinks we want or need. "Buy this, it'll help to achieve so-and-so," "Buy this, everybody else has it so why don't you?" and other such general and underlying messages.

However, you're not the only one who thinks as you do. Sheep to the herd, I suppose.

well said. Although it still doesn't look like our point is being fully grasped haha

Garnet, I still don't see why you want to keep on denying that the media has power. If it didn't, commercials would be useless. But again, there's no easy way for us to prove this without eliminating the media & seeing what happens... which isn't feasible.
& no, I'm not gonna dispute what you think on the grounds of your past ED [at least I'm assuming it's in the past... if not, you have better things to be doing than sitting here debating us about the media]
You're completely entitled to be happier at a lower weight, but again, the whole point of this is whether you would still desire that low weight if the media didn't exist.

P.S. Everyone, let's PLEASE not turn this otherwise-mostly-intelligent debate into an "oh, you're thin you have no right to complain about anything!" thread. It's coming dangerously close.

I am kinda insulted by this.  It seems almost all women over 35 or who have had children are all about "loving one's body for all it's curves."

What's wrong with getting in shape?  Why is this frequently frowned upon?

I want to be able to run a mile without having to slow down, and to NOT see my legs ripple when I run.

And now I pretty much can.  I am PROUD that I've managed to loose 30lbs, but I still want to tone my body.

What's wrong with showing off thw positive work you've put into your own image?

I feel so good about myself now that I am 120lbs--even at 5'2

I know I'll feel even beter at 115 oe 110.  And people who have not lost weight are always trying to discourage me from that.  I KNOW my limits, and I know my body. 

I can see no reason to "embrace my curves" if I can truly love my flat tummy ;)

Original Post by marekat:

I am kinda insulted by this. It seems almost all women over 35 or who have had children are all about "loving one's body for all it's curves."

What's wrong with getting in shape? Why is this frequently frowned upon?

I want to be able to run a mile without having to slow down, and to NOT see my legs ripple when I run.

And now I pretty much can. I am PROUD that I've managed to loose 30lbs, but I still want to tone my body.

What's wrong with showing off thw positive work you've put into your own image?

I feel so good about myself now that I am 120lbs--even at 5'2

I know I'll feel even beter at 115 oe 110. And people who have not lost weight are always trying to discourage me from that. I KNOW my limits, and I know my body.

I can see no reason to "embrace my curves" if I can truly love my flat tummy ;)

And that is exactly the kind of response I was trying to get from YCCers!!

My point was that no matter what size you are--naturally skinny, chubby, average, or whatever, it is awesome to love your body for its shape!

I'm glad to hear that you have been able to lose weight and are still working on being healthy! That is something to be happy and proud about!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with working out, getting in shape, or losing weight; it should be done for the sake of health and not because you are trying to seek happiness with yourself. I can understand wanting to be happy with the work you have put in to be healthy, but body image and self worth are not one in the same.

And btw: I'm not over 35, nor have I had a child. I am 19 and it breaks my heart seeing young ladies all around me suffering from body image issues. I just had to share my opinion!

I know I will feel better when I am ten to fifteen pounds lighter. I never EVER loved my self the way I am. I do not feel pressured to be thin; I WANT to be thin. It'll make me feel better, so I don't agree with your "love the body the way it is; love your curves" crap. Sorry to disappoint.

I think everyone is missing the point of this thread.

My intention with this post was NOT to attack the media or skinny people.

I wanted only to bring some positivity into such a negative, demanding society.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with losing weight to be healthy; nothing wrong with being naturally thin; nothing wrong with working out to tone.

It seems like everyone here thinks I want to picket MTV and make everyone fat and happy. Not the case. I want people to recognize their worth and beauty separate from their weight and size.

There are imperfections in all of us, but joy can be found in loving ourselves for who we are (even who we are while we work on losing weight for a healthier exterior).

Did I clear some things up??

:)

Original Post by starcrossdlovex:

Original Post by soaraway:

starcrossd - good job ignoring the valid points made by other posters regarding the media. You are clearly just another example of someone who is incapable of taking responsibility for your own actions and instead sees fit to make excuses for yourself and others. I wish people would quit making excuses and start accepting the consequences of their actions and taking responsibility, rather than blaming it all on the media. Ugh.

ETA: Also, I find it amazing that people are so obsessed with those few members of the population who are striving to be thin, when the majority of the American population is actually OVER weight.

LOL, you're absolutely ridiculous. Thanks for the entertainment though.

I don't even know if I should bother pointing out all the things completely ridiculous about your post.
But just for future reference, you may wanna actually read my post before making asinine accusations/assumptions about how I didn't read previous posts.

& garnet, thanks for actually reading what I said & formulating a response. Sorry I'm a bit distracted by soaraway. Anyway, while I definitely agree that there are a lot of people who are naturally thin, there are also a lot of people that want to be thin because they admire Nicole Ritchie & other thin celebs. There's no way for us to know which group is larger, unfortunately. & also, even naturally thin people generally have their eating habits catch up to them eventually, & then many of them start trying to lose weight- how much of that is driven by the media? Again, there's no way for us to know since these can only ever be hypothetical situations [unless someone figures out how to eliminate the media? haha]
It's definitely a curious topic though.

It's nice to see that instead of responding with some sort of intelligent rebuttal to anything I said (or anything nevarren said), you have to result to petty insults.  Your posts just come across as vapid given that you CONTINUE to blame the media for all of society's problems.  I feel really bad for people like you who are so insecure in their own bodies that not only do you have to starve yourself into thinness, but you also can't take responsibility for doing so.  Let's blame someone else!  Yep.  Really responsible.

Any more positive feedback? :)

Sure, mla931.  Since no one who had an interest in the media issue seems to also have an interest in my opinion as a member of the media, I'll respond to the other things you've said.

I don't think it's easy for adolescents, regardless of what they weigh or who they compare themselves to, to love themselves.  I don't know about you guys, but when I was in high school, I was a muddle of insecurities and nerves, and while I didn't have any major problems with my body, things like acne and a math teacher who told me girls couldn't do math (it was my minor in college) didn't help.  That doesn't mean, however, that I think young women should give in to that insecurity.  Rather, they should channel it into positive and productive lifestyle changes rather than harmful, negative cycles of bodily abuse.

What young women could focus on that is both positive and productive is establishing healthy fitness and eating habits while they're still young.  They've got all of high school sports open to them, so rather than focusing on that flat stomach, maybe what they can focus on is enjoying exercise.  And instead of counting calories, they can cut a lot of the junk food in their diets.  Someone somewhere else mentioned that Michael Phelps eats 10,000 calories/day.  Girls, have you seen his body?  You're young enough that if you get into sports and are practicing every day, you can eat whatever the hell you want.  If you eat healthy, that also means you can eat however much you want.  If you can make your diet healthy 90% of the time, you'll be in a better place to prevent weight gain in the long run, and you can do it without restricting.  For the OP, those habits may be corollaries of loving yourself, but for adolescents, it's likely love doesn't play into it.

So that's my advice - establish healthy habits while you're young so you never have to count calories to look good and stop focusing on whether or not your body's perfect.

Original Post by soaraway:

Original Post by starcrossdlovex:

Original Post by soaraway:

starcrossd - good job ignoring the valid points made by other posters regarding the media. You are clearly just another example of someone who is incapable of taking responsibility for your own actions and instead sees fit to make excuses for yourself and others. I wish people would quit making excuses and start accepting the consequences of their actions and taking responsibility, rather than blaming it all on the media. Ugh.

ETA: Also, I find it amazing that people are so obsessed with those few members of the population who are striving to be thin, when the majority of the American population is actually OVER weight.

LOL, you're absolutely ridiculous. Thanks for the entertainment though.

I don't even know if I should bother pointing out all the things completely ridiculous about your post.
But just for future reference, you may wanna actually read my post before making asinine accusations/assumptions about how I didn't read previous posts.

& garnet, thanks for actually reading what I said & formulating a response. Sorry I'm a bit distracted by soaraway. Anyway, while I definitely agree that there are a lot of people who are naturally thin, there are also a lot of people that want to be thin because they admire Nicole Ritchie & other thin celebs. There's no way for us to know which group is larger, unfortunately. & also, even naturally thin people generally have their eating habits catch up to them eventually, & then many of them start trying to lose weight- how much of that is driven by the media? Again, there's no way for us to know since these can only ever be hypothetical situations [unless someone figures out how to eliminate the media? haha]
It's definitely a curious topic though.

It's nice to see that instead of responding with some sort of intelligent rebuttal to anything I said (or anything nevarren said), you have to result to petty insults.  Your posts just come across as vapid given that you CONTINUE to blame the media for all of society's problems.  I feel really bad for people like you who are so insecure in their own bodies that not only do you have to starve yourself into thinness, but you also can't take responsibility for doing so.  Let's blame someone else!  Yep.  Really responsible.

It's also nice to see you repeating the same ridiculousness instead of coming up with an effective argument. & I'm the one with the petty insults? Does "someone who is incapable of taking responsibility for your own actions" & "vapid" & "insecure" ring a bell for you? Your petty insult detector is a bit off I think.

& I'm curious to see where in my post I said that the media is to blame for all of society's problems. Can you show me? [of course, that would require you to actually READ what I wrote in the first place... which you obviously haven't.]

& I know we're best friends in real life & all so you OBVIOUSLY know this & it isn't just another ridiculous assumption, but I'm not insecure. I am not starving myself. & I take responsibility for my actions.

Thanks for the judgement, though! =]

To be honest- I'm 15 years old, and I'm not losing weight for myself. I'm losing it for my sports team, where almost every single girl on the team is lightweight (under 130 lbs) and most are a good 5-6 inches taller than me.

I understand that youth should not be spent counting calories, or losing those extra pounds. However, weight is constantly brought into focus by most adults. For example, my crew coach last year would weigh all of the girls in front of everyone else, and then spend a good forty minutes weekly telling us about our BMIs and what we should/shouldn't be eating, who has to lose 5 lbs in a week, who willl never make lightweight, etc...

Even school teachers make comments about teenage girls's weight. It's incredibly uncomfortable to hear a 40 something  overweight teacher talking to the smallest girls like their size is something to be incredibly proud of.

It's the culture that the teenage girl lives up in. Where going shopping- most stores don't have anything above a size 6 in stock. Where I cannot find shirts that fit my chest because they are built for the pre pubescant body. Where I can't find jeans that fit because I have  muscular thighs.

I want to lose the extra weight so that when I weigh in in front of the other girls, I'm not embarassed. I want to lose weight so that I don't feel uncomfortable when the subject comes up (which it does- often). I want to lose weight so that I can live healthily. I'm not doing it for wahboard abs, for the perfect model's body- I am happy with the body I have, and I just want to tone it down to meet the needs of my team.

Girls all over are made to feel uncomfortable by the clothes and pressures of our age. So I don't think that it is unreasonable for anyone to be concerned about their weight at a young age. Naturally I don't want anyone to go overboard, but the rest are making an important lifestyle choice- where they eat right, exercise, and eliminate the need to change later on in life.