The Lounge

I start work at 6am every day by waking my boss up (as he's apparently incapable of doing this on his own). Now, we're both attracted to each other but can't actually date because of the inevitable opposition all the other folks at work would have to this (did I mention he's the CEO?). So about once a week we end up having sex after I wake him up, and it just occurred to me that since I'm on the clock starting when I get to his place I'm technically being paid to sleep with him.

So... while this pretty clearly makes the both of us just a touch unethical, I don't feel like I'm a prostitute because I'm enjoying it just as much as him and there's certainly no requirement (spoken or implied) that I do this.

Any thoughts? Should I just take my act to the streetcorner? I figured an anonymous internet forum was the way to go due to the nature of this topic.

interesting job...make sure you update your resume...

I guess if you are both happy with it and he isn't married...

Okay, I guess I didn't really phrase that right.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with our particular situation. No one's being used or hurt; good times for all. But I know that most people would (and clearly do) see things in a different light, and certainly in many similar situations they would be right. So I know that on paper it looks bad and was just trying to say that my boss really is a decent person. =)

^my thoughts exactly.

Edit - delayed post - referring to #35.

You are both consenting adults.

I have no reason to berate you for your behavior. 

I, too, am wondering what "professional wife" pays, though - as an actual wife - I bristle at that description.  What you are doing does not fill the roll of a wife, as I see it.

Wow. I would not be okay with this, but that's just me .

Edited to add: #41, yeah, "make sure you update your resume".

The job is a maid.  Or housekeeper, if you will.  There's about a million ways where this job isn't remotely like being a wife.

And this is yet another example of a very young woman in a dominant-submissive relationship with a much older man ....

*rolls eyes*

*heads on out*

Oh hey now, I wasn't trying to offend any of the actual wives out there! I know my job is not anything like being a real wife to someone.

yeah, we don't get paid or sick or vacation time

".....but in every other way he's actually an upstanding citizen.."

Just like Elliot Spitzer...

This sounds like a situation where the end will result in someone being hurt.   Please be careful not to get pregnant.

Is the sex good? lol..just kidding :) 

You're okay with it? He's okay with it?  *shrug*, then enjoy the sex :) It's only a "dominant-submissive" situation if you let it. It takes two people to tango.

Sounds like two consenting adults who happen to also have a work relationship. Don't let the personal relationship interfere with the work one and you'll be fine.

I suppose what you are doing doesn't really strike people as "moral" thing to do.

But honestly, I don't see anything wrong with that. It's not a prostitution since you aren't getting paid to do sexual favors - they just come as an addendum ;) If you are enjoying casual sex with your boss, then so be it. It's not a situation where you sleep with him to get ahead of your fellow coworkers. Just two people having fun.

Oh my God...this is why I <3 the internet.

I have nothing to contribute, carry on.

Well, I don't have a particularly good understanding of morals, so I am not sure what people mean by ethical or inethical (unethical)?

All I am thinking is what this would do to my self esteem. I just don't understand how a self respecting woman would be okay with this, and think it's a good idea. Seriously, all "morality" aside.

Edit: changed "goosd" to "good"

Lemme guess, you're having an inner dilemma about this very subject, and needed SOMEONE ANYONE to support you continuing to do this, or help you end it.

You can't tell your family or friends what's going on, because you know their reaction will be negative, because they'd fear for your safety/health/mental stability when this all comes crashing down.

So...what now? AHA the internets! Where anything and everything is okay!

Except this. Obviously, from all the negative responses, you've pretty much gotten your answer. (psssst...it's just not a good idea for the long run...)

Original Post by moscovite82:

Well, I don't have a particularly good understanding of morals, so I am not sure what people mean by ethical or inethical (unethical)?

 

I don't know what kind of company she works for, or how big it is, but most mid sized to large companies have ethics policies in place that would classify a situation like this as an ethics violation.  I know mine does.

I'm not sure where I indicated I don't respect myself, because respect is pretty important to me. I used to be a terrible pushover who couldn't stand up for myself for fear of upsetting people. I eventually realized this behavior only made me feel worse about myself and have actively moved away from that. I also choose to sleep only with people who respect me, because I've met a lot of guys who were interested in sex but would have thought less of me as a person if I actually did sleep with them (and how does that make sense?).

Original Post by nasuoni:

You can't tell your family or friends what's going on, because you know their reaction will be negative, because they'd fear for your safety/health/mental stability when this all comes crashing down.

 Actually my sister and one of my guy friends do know and are fine with it as long as I'm happy (though the guy friend is genially upset that I'm not hooking up with him instead ;p)

I'm really not looking for validation, I'm just enjoying the varied opinions everyone has =)

I just don't understand how a self respecting woman would be okay with this

What does respect have to do with it? This is basically just casual sex...what's wrong with casual sex?

True, the fact that he is her boss is another piece of the puzzle, but if the personal relationship doesn't affect the professional one and they're okay with it...I just don't see that as a lack of self-respect.