Weight Loss
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Misconceptions about being overweight! ....Particularly obese.
This is just one thing thing that really bothers me that I have been thinking about lately...
1) Just because your fat does not mean your constantly over indulging!
I always feel when I go out to eat that people are watching to see what to eat. If I go into a fast food joint (which I do about 2-4 times a year) I feel like the people in there think I eat there everyday. I hate getting looked at weird when I order a salad... I wonder if the people are looking at me so they don't get what I do....or don't eat as much. I know I must sound silly, but it really bothers me. Forbid the thought cross their mind that I am losing weight or trying to be healthy. Slightly bad choices over a long time got me here, not extreme over indulgence.
If you feel my pain or have your own stories of misconceptions...please feel free to share!
I went out to lunch with a female friend of mine last week. She's not overweight in the least and I'm 200 @ 6'0", on a diet with 30 pounds more to go. I ordered a cajun grilled chicken salad and diet coke. She ordered an order of chips with queso and hot chicken wings and regular coke. A different waitress brought out the food. You know where this is going. She gave her the salad and me the fattening stuff. We got a good laugh out of it.
This is an issue I have dealt with all my life. And i simply learned to ignore them all together. i know they were looking because it's not everyday you see someone who is a large as I was. So I can't really blame anyone for looking or drawing conclusions.
And even though most people were thinking stuff, very few ever said anything. But since all the weight has come off, I will admit folk have been very nice and supportive.
However, I agree with the above that unless you are in the league where I was (40+ BMI) then most aren't looking cause you are one of thousands.
People ARE looking, that's what they do. I have looked at people much larger than me and thought, "well things could be worse, at least i am not that fat". I would never in a million years say anything of the sort. And i am quite sure other people look at me and think the exact same thing aaalll the time. It hurts to know that, but I certainly don't blame anyone for their private thoughts.
What I do find intolerable is those people who choose to react in a mean or judgemental way to me. I once was eating an eclair in a park during a trip to Spain, and a lady walking by gave me a such a powerful look of disgust that it could have scorched metal. It was brutal and she didn't even say a word. Over my life I have had A LOT of mean comments and assumptions made about me as well. It's cruel and hurtful. Anyone who believes it's motivational or will "help" me lose weight is just in denial of their own cruelty.
I try to not let these sorts of things effect me, as i know that i am an emotional eater and it's the sort of thing that triggers me. Thank goodness it doesn't happen often. It takes nerves of steel to get through those incidents, and I am far too thin-skinned (it's the only part of me that's thin, unfortunately!)
I have to say though...on the rare occasion that i buy something trashy at the grocery store, or order something rich at a restaurant, I have to make a conscious effort to steel myself against possible judgements. And when I make healthy choices, i am hoping people are noticing THAT. I don't think they do...
i think something most ppl don't understand about obesity is that you are truly starving. once your body reaches a certain point, and this varies for everyone, your body can no longer absorb the nutrients from your food as efficiently. this process slowly degrades over time. toxemia as a dangerous state to be in. it's the state wherein the rate of toxic consumption is faster than the body can metabolize said toxins out. this is epidemic in the US since most americans grow up on fast food & hamburger helper. we get a bad start, get motivated to lose weight due to peer pressure or vanity (negative motivators never lead to positive results) and don't put priority on health concerns until an illness arises, at which time the weight loss becomes a central point of life or death. its unfortunate that most ppl don't realize this. the horror of obesity is that you are hungry all the time and are truly malnourished. the beginning is to reassess healthy foods and then eat them in appropriate quantities. consulting a nutritionist is the way to go for anyone who is obese. when i see someone obese at the buffet or in a restaurant making poor choices i am truly saddened. eating disorders account for some of the obesity problem, but improper nutritional education and a set lifestyle are the real culprits. proper nutrition starts at home with our families teaching us as kids. anyone who is obese and making the change into a healthy eating routine has my admiration. you are going against everything you learned. you are hungry all the time and always making an effort. my hats off to ya!
Your absolutely right. I have been fat all my life and I never really notice people staring at me until I had lost over 100lbs and was a 'normal' size. I noticed then that people weren't looking. and as the weight crept back on I noticed people starting to look again. Funny huh?
It bothers me most in the grocery store. People looking in my cart like the only thing they will see is cakes and candy or other unhealthy things.
I just stare back and say hi, people get the point.
I am guilt and charged of making assumptions about peoples weight and what people think of my weight...but yesterday was a moment of "O SH$T...who's the fat chick".
I was at a festival woofing down a funnel cake and I looked over at the reflection in a store window and it was ME!!! I was the fat cow in the window. Needless to say I stopped eating the funnel cake and passed it down to my DP...1/4 of that carb laden thing was all I needed.
I read this post last night thinking "this has happened to me before." However, I don't think I ever thought too much about it until tonight. On my way home from work I stopped at a convenience store for a Lipton Diet Green Tea. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "You do know this is diet, right?" PFFFT!
not only do my friends make these assumptions (even though i've known them for sooo long and they should know this stuff already), but waitresses and such also do. they get surprised if i pass up dessert or fries on the side.
and when people see me buying healthy foods in the grocery store, they stare and seem to be slightly taken aback. people have said things to my parents too, like "i think it's really great that Erin eats so healthy." and i mean, i take it as a compliment and it's nice to hear. but it kinda sucks that it's the type of thing that's viewed as unusual for someone my age.
also, people never really say a thing or pay attention to what my naturally skinny friend (who has been really thin her whole life) eats, but of course once i lost weight (and was skinny, but in a healthy way) they all watched and made comments about how i should eat more. it was such a pain to deal with.
sorry about this rant, it was kinda long lol.
people can be so cruel sometimes. sometimes i let things slip (not necessarily about peoples' weight, but about people in general), and i just end up feeling horrible because i always get major pangs of guilt after the slightest things. it's because i'm an over-analyzer and i think waaay too much into things. i'm not oversensitive, just an over-thinker.
fallingupstairs, I agree with you totally! After losing weight to a healthy weight, even though I wasn't thin, people were always telling me to eat more - some even said I was anorexic, to my absolute annoyance. Someone even asked what pills or shakes I had been taking, which is very upsetting when you've worked hard to exercise and eat healthily.
That said, you can't please anybody in this world. If you're fat and you eat junk, you're a slob. If you're fat and you eat healthy, people (meanly) wonder why it's not working. If you're thin and you eat junk, you're a skinny bitch who never gains a pound. If you're thin and you eat healthy, you're anorexic.
So yeah. People are shallow. They should mind their own business.
i have come to the realization that people are, by and large, neurotic. when a stranger says something to you, rude or not, they are speaking to you assuming you are like them. so, when someone berates you for your weight or is condescending they are projecting how they feel about themselves onto you! just remember that, when someone whose not overweight is cruel to you while you are struggling with your weight it's a reflection of their own internal dialogue. they have imagined themselves in your shoes and treat you as they would treat themselves. the best thing you can do is try to understand this and love yourself no matter what your body is like. i was the kid the others always picked on. they called me "thunder thighs". i recently ran into one of the kids who did that to me in a restaurant. she acted as if it never happened and acted like she wanted to be my friend. she had conveniently forgotten about how cruel she was to me. funny, she's heavier than me now. also, she told me about how 2 of the meanest kids in school; one is a prostitute, the other is in jail for drugs. that told me a lot.
people are really awful. i agree. it's too bad. we all deal with it in some way or another. also, if you expect ppl to treat you badly or if you feel insecure about yourself it can influence how others treat you. there are some incredibly beautiful overweight women in the world, and i'm willing to betcha the reason they are perceived that way is because of how they feel about themselves.
Original Post by cellulitedelight:
It's been mentioned before. A stereotype about being overweight is you eat way too much. So if you're at a restaurant and you order dessert, or hell even finish your entire entree, you're a fat ass. If you don't finish it, you're on a diet and people still ridicule you for it, 'cause you're fat and on a diet.
Now, if you're in shape and you go for dessert, people think you've got a killer body and are lucky to have that dessert without it going to your thighs. If you skip dessert, people think you're have an eating disorder or are dieting for attention.
So true. It's such a double-edged sword.
And since when is eating healthy such a bad or abnormal thing? People seem to always assume that those who eat healthily are suffering so much and/or don't eat enough and/or aren't "normal", whatever that means.
I'm not sure if this is an urban legend, but I remember a story about a woman filing or threatening to file a lawsuit against a fast food restaurant for this type of behaviour. The woman was a lawyer and had been in court since 8am. At 2pm she finally got a short break. Her blood sugar was dropping and she felt faint. She went to find the closest source of food - a fast food restaurant since she only had a few minutes - and ordered fries and a Coke. The server gave her a diet Coke, and said something rude about it helping the customer out since she was overweight.
Actually, the woman said, she wasn't overweight, she was pregnant, and scared that diet pop would harm her unborn baby.
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