I think you should enjoy this time. You didn't mention if your BF is happy about this new baby. If so, then yeah, enjoy the pregnancy and each other. Things change between you when you have a baby together. Not a bad thing, though. I was only with my BF for a few months and also was told I couldn't have children and then OOps, I was pregnant. We didn't worry too much about what other people would think. When I was born my mom was already married to a different guy than the one who got her pregnant(and she was 17), so I was not worried at all what she would say(btw, she was ecstatic). I was 25 when I got pregnant, and I am with the father and we are super in love with each other and our child. You will have to let people know eventually so just get it over with. They will probably be super happy for you. My mom bought me so much baby crap when I got pregnant that I haven't really had to buy anything but formula and diapers(my son is 5 months old). Congratulations, this should be the happiest time in your life! If someday you guys decide to get married, so be it, it will not be for the wrong reasons. We decided that very thing about our relationship and didn't hesitate to share it with anyone who asked us if we are going to be married just cause we have a kid together. There is nothing wrong with you or your child or your relationship. Sorry if I'm rambling...

OMG!! Firstly- CONGRATULATIONS!! You are blessed to be having a baby! So many people go through all sorts to get pregnant and never have the experience of creating a new life. 

Now- as an Irish Roman Catholic, who by birthright and religion should be truly on my high horse about morality & all that, can I let you know that me (or any of my friends, or either of my parents) would look on you as any less of a person for getting pregnant while not being married! My mother (old-school Irish RC) positively encouraged me to live with my now-husband before we got wed to see if we could live together! My father told me when I was 18 that he couldn't wait to be a granda- no mention of walking me down an aisle or anything! LOL! Unless your grand-folks and co-workers live in a enclosed community they'll realise that this happens everyday in life, and as you said, your granny came round with your Mum, don't you think she'll do the same with you- although I think they'll be fine?

PS- It might give your BF the boot up the jacksy he needs to get a ring on your finger- if thats the right thing for you both? ;)

The first thing I should say is "Congratulations!" Having a baby is a wonderful thing - being a proud papa of a 10 1/2 month old myself - and I wish you the best of joys with your new child.

The second thing I should say is "There is never a good time to have a child." It doesn't matter if you're married, single, rich, poor... you can always come up with an excuse why it's not a good time to have kids. In my wife's and I's case, we didn't have good jobs, we had crappy insurance... we were married, but financially unstable. We went ahead anyway and things worked out. We made a deal with a local hospital to pay in installments... then later on, I got a good job with GREAT insurance, and we got the money we paid to the hospital back. If things aren't so good now, it's all right - it never is.

The third thing I would tell your boyfriend is "S*&$ or get off the pot!" You've been dating for three YEARS now? And you're 32? What in gehenna is he waiting for?! I have no problem with you "pressuring" him with your pregnancy. Whether you did it intentionally or not, he needs to man up to his responsibilities, make you a honest woman, and marry you. If he's still teetering after this news, dump the man, and you'll be much happier in the end.

For now, take care of yourself and the wee one, and God bless. I wish you every happiness, married or not.

"The third thing I would tell your boyfriend is "S*&$ or get off the pot!" You've been dating for three YEARS now? And you're 32? What in gehenna is he waiting for?! I have no problem with you "pressuring" him with your pregnancy. Whether you did it intentionally or not, he needs to man up to his responsibilities, make you a honest woman, and marry you. If he's still teetering after this news, dump the man, and you'll be much happier in the end."- WanderingJew

PMSL!!! Hear hear! He has to have known that pregnancy was a possibility?! You didn't do this on your own!

Thanks for the replies so far. MY BF is the best father I have ever met and his is very responsible, especially with money, that is the least of my concerns. He has joint custody of his other kids but I can assure you that the responsibilities are not 50/50 with his ex-wife. He is scarred from his first marriage and that is why he was taking it slow with me. I know he's thought about getting married because for one his 17 other siblings always ask him when are we going to get  married. I can respect his feelings of aprehension based on his previous marriage and how selfish his ex-wife is when it comes to his kids. He does not want to relive that with me. I am not going to let him continue to use that as an excuse much longer let me tell you. I will not be that girl who is with a guy 7+ years with no ring, like my friend is. That's ridiculous. I'm not really concerned with that because I really don't feel like planning a big wedding right now anyway, plus where are we going to get the money. I guess I'm just worried about what others will think and I know I shouldn't be but it's just hard when you were raised in a Christian home, not overly religious but I still knew what was expected of me and I knew better to do things that I saw everyone else doing around me.

Marriage isn't the only way to be committed to one another.  It's a ring; a piece of paper.  If you're together and your hearts are intwined, and you know that you love one another and support one another unconditionally, that is what matters.  I'm 36, and just had my first child with my boyfriend of (almost) three years.  I never questioned for a moment the fact that he would stand by my side and support our little family when I (accidentally, essentially) got pregant.  As long as you are able to create a loving, supportive, open family, you should be fine.  Good luck!!  And yes, parenting is totally worth it, even if you weren't planning it!!!!

My children's father and I aren't married.  We have a house, cars, and three kids (two of them planned ;)).  We had been dating less than a year when I got pregnant so while we agreed were would be parents together we felt like preparing for the birth of our child was a lot more important than planning a wedding.  After our oldest was born we discussed it a lot but our relationship is a commitment to each other and our kids that transcends being legally married. We joke a lot now that when they finally legalize civil unions (for same-sex couples) we will get a civil union instead.  Either that or we'll get married when Brad and Angelina do! lol

We had our son 4 years before we got married. Nobody cared about wether we were married or not, least of all my partner and i. It's the 21st century. Sometimes things don't follow any kind of specific regimented path. Things happen. Life happens.

If you're happy with your life, then boll*cks to what anyone else says.

(It was great having our son running around handing out the favours at our wedding )

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with having children outside of wedlock. I would never shun someone because they had a child and weren't married.

My cousin is 21, has 3 kids, all from different (abusive) fathers, none of them were able to stay with her because she was not a good mother. It was a broken family. It was a bad situation, for the children and for her. On the other side, my parents had me two years before they were married, but after they had been together for a while. They're still together now, and when all's said and done, everything's pretty good. :)

I think marriage isn't the important part: it's whether you will be good parents, together, or not.

I think the whole idea of HAVING to be married before you have children is so antiquated that it hardly applies to the modern world.  My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, live together and have a toddler, however we have only talked about getting married (seriously talked, not high school stuff!) about two times or so.  We don't see it as a necessity.  We love each other, love our life together and most importantly, love our daughter.  I don't think that being married or not really relates to how much you love or how well you take care of your child.  Having a healthy relationship (whether you stay with your boyfriend or not) in which you respect one another and focus on doing the best with raising your child is better than having an unhappy marriage.

Just do the best you can and love your baby.  That's all that he/she will ask of you!  Good luck and congratulations.

Personally, if I were to get pregnant, I would have the kid and raise it with as much input from the father as possible; however, since I know how stressful single motherhood is I wouldn't plan to do it that way for either myself or my child.

If you are happy with this man and happy with your child and it isn't important to you that you get married, then go be happy.  If being married is important to you and he doesn't want to, then I'd give him the boot from your relationship but keep him in the child's life if possible.  It's not an do it or else, it's a matter that if for you being married gives you the sense of security that you need and you're not getting that then the relationship is not fulfilling your needs.

Congrats to you! Bringing a child into a loving home is an amazing experience and a blessing.

You have received some wonderful comments from prior posters and I wanted to add that I agree with them completely...

It is not beneficial for you or the child to get married just because you are expecting a blessing. You two are already committed to each other and you are a grown woman. IMHO Do not pressure your BF into anything unless you know in your heart that pregnancy or not you want and wanted to get married before you saw the two lines on the HPT. Family is an amazing thing, when you least expect it they will pull through when you need them the most. If not don't worry, nothing warms a persons heart like a child does. Take it one day at a time and if you do receive negative comments let them know that you are a grown woman and do not need their acceptance but they do need to respect your decision and leave their negative comments at the door.

Best of luck to you and enjoy your pregnancy and your new journey.

Congratulations nenewa!  I know it's hard to get up the guts to tell everyone you're married, but you can't change how people are going to feel, one way or the other.  As long as you are happy, you're loved ones will come around and be happy for you too.  I have been living with my fiancee for 2 years now and at first my fam wasn't too thrilled.  In the end they realized how happy he makes me and learned to deal.  You have to be ready for some people that don't approve, just remember it's your happiness that matters most...don't worry about what others say.  You'll win them over in the end. 

Best wishes to you and your little one!  *hugs*

Gee, I hate to be the stick-in-the mud, but it seems like all anyone ever thinks about is what THEY want.  What about the children?  Children deserve to born into the world with a mother AND a father.  And a wedding ring and marriage certificate are NOT just a piece of paper.  They are a commitment to love, honor and obey each other for life.  Although my sister was married when she had my nephews, she got divorced, married, divorced, married, divorced, lived with a guy for 5 years and got married again.  Sometimes the boys lived with her, sometimes with her.  The oldest boy committed suicide at age 23.  The youngest is a meth addict and is currently in prison for trafficking in drugs and stealing to support his habit.  Don't tell me that their tumultuous childhood did not lead to their problems.

Men who make women pregnant should BE MEN and take care of the lives they create.  If your boyfriend won't marry you, think about adoption.  There are plenty of loving couples out there who would love to raise your baby.  It's not a hopelessly old-fashioned idea, but the most unselfish thing you could do.  It doesn't matter what other people think of you, it's a matter of doing the best thing for your child.

I had my daughter out of wedlock with someone I had been with for close to 6 years.  I was 25 and on my own, but I felt "bad" somehow.  However, I think this was my own doing since everyone else was thrilled.  And she has been the best thing that ever happened to me...she transformed my life in such a positive way!  Relax and enjoy it, because ultimately what anyone else thinks does not matter....what you do as a mother is what will truly count in the long run, and you have nothing to prove other than the fact that you love and care for your child (and you've only got to prove that to your child and no one else).