| Diet Forums : Health & Support | Report Violation · Tag It! |
| A dangerous competition |  lochloch |
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| #1 |  damsell300 |
May 10 2008 00:30 |
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It sounds like you are the one with the problem. Not your friends. If your friends want to get healthier and fitter, good for them. It sounds to me like you are jealous of your friends for getting better grades, etc. and have very little self confidence. It sounds as if you feel that your physical appearance is the only thing you've got going for you and this is why you are so obsessed with having the best body out of all of your friends. You might not get as good of grades as some other people, but this does not make you stupid. What is stupid is thinking that "all people prefer a fit body to a chubby one" and having a fit body will somehow make you happier or better then your friends. Your fit body will not get you very far in life without a brain to back it up. If you feel such a need to compete with your friends, you should probably take a long hard look at what is really going on with you that makes you feel like you "just can't help but go along with it". So you don't like the competition? STOP COMPETING! No one is forcing you to play this game and it might all be in your head. |
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| #2 | muttlover |
May 10 2008 00:45 |
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I sometimes feel this way too. Like on vacation, I promised myself that I wouldn't worry about exercise because I knew I'd eat healthy anyway. But my dad would always loudly announce that he would go to the gym they had on the cruise. It made me feel guilty.
But then I remembered. He was eating pizza, drinking alcohol, etc. So why should I feel guilty? You need to stick to what works for YOU, not your friends. Concentrate more on building muscle mass, and your metabolism will speed up and you will become more toned. Also, when you get that competative mindset, remember: no matter how smart you are, how thin, how muscular, whatever - there will always be someone better than you. So instead of trying to win a world competetition, win your own competition and reach small, reasonable goals that you set for yourself. Take care, hun! |
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| #3 | bobo1 |
May 10 2008 12:26 |
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wow, ummm i was in high school ....like 10 years ago and i still am in daily contact with my group of girl friends even though i live in another side of the world...and trust me we had our moments of hate, selfhate being horrible to each other but in all..i think these are true friend I dont want to be hurtful but i think you have a really messed up relationship with the people you refer to as friends....start hanging out with other people do something diffrent at school these kids are not doing then you will have something new and diffrent and meet new people, who dont make you feel awful about yourself |
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| #4 | bugsylover |
May 10 2008 12:50 |
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remember that at our age when people say they are 'dieting' they often don't even know what it involves. a lot of my friends claim to be on a diet but still eat mcdonalds and chocolate bars. don't destroy your health because they CLAIM to be dieting, because for all you know they might go home after school and eat a huge plate of cheesy pasta or something. (my friends who 'diet' will think.. "pasta is healthy.. cheese is healthy.. i can eat as much as i want!!") just be healthy and eat right and do it for yourself, not anyone else :) |
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| #5 | aperfectblink |
May 11 2008 17:31 |
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i am just like you! my best friend just recently lost like 15 pounds, the unhealthy way, like she cleans houses for a living so she's gone about 7 hours a day and she never eats beforehand and when she comes home she only eats one meal. i hate it. she was never really big to begin either. she blames her work for losing the weight but thats such ****. now she like flaunts her body around (we have guy roommates too) and pulls her shirt up all the time. i want to throw an effing pan at her face. its really discouraging cause im actually doing CC and trying to lose weight right. it really sucks. especially since i have a chunk of weight that i really do need to lose. hope everything works out.. i know this wasnt an answer for you, but i guess i needed to rant too. |
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| #6 | headingup |
May 11 2008 19:21 |
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Being competitive about these things does not help anyone- I'm kind of in an opposite situation- I'm trying to recover from anorexia and so gain weight. Right now all the exercise I can do is like an hour walk with the dog a day so I find I get so jealous of anyone who is doing more, especially when they are not eating that much... I almost want to go shove food down their throats and chain them to a chair! I know that sounds extreme! Anyway... I find the best way of dealing with it is to think what they do with their bodies is up to them...I want to be healthy and happy so just try and focus on what you're doing and not worry about anyone else's eating/exercise habits.
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| #7 | mpatitucci |
May 11 2008 21:35 |
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Your self-esteem seems to hinge on looking better than your friends, because you don't believe you can do anything else better than they can. I think you'll feel better if you develop skills you can feel proud of. If you're not much of an academic, try getting good at a sport or painting or crafts or building model airplanes or fishing -- something, anything, you can feel special about. Do you have any hobbies, or anything about which you've thought, "I really want to try that"? It will take some time to develop these skills to the point where you are good at them, but it will be worth it. |
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| #8 | ka2007 |
May 11 2008 22:00 |
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i would say it is good that you are thinking about it. maybe you will be able to help yourself after doing some more soul searching, or possibly meeting other people who are kind? |
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| #9 | straightarrow7 |
May 11 2008 23:04 |
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Instead of trying to catch up to your friends and their fads, focus on yourself because the way you've described it - you'll always come out to be the loser. Think about it: if they succeed, they'll have something to show for it (better physique, healthier lives because they're probably not competing with you but working on something that will give them more self-confidence) and if they don't, you're still in the same boat you are now. So instead of trying to perfect something that doesn't need work, focus on something that you feel you are weak in. Your body is something you've been given, to think of it as your accomplishment is kinda shallow ... however, if your friends are better at academics that most likely means they have put more effort into it and you can see the results. You have to realise that pretty soon school will be over and being skinnier than your friends will be meaningless. |
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