Motivation

Motivation, you have to love this word. Motivation. I find it very easy to motivate other people. I find it almost impossible to motivate oneself. I have spent all my adult life slowly gaining and losing fat. To the point that I forgot who I was. So who am I?

My name is Abner; I’m a male, 47 years old. I have both physical (ruptured disc, asthma, diabetes) and mental problems (depression). I have failed in every attempt to lose the fat. This is the last one. The last time, it’s this or die. So I started this new life by only doing 5 min of cardio and using 5 lbs weights. I slowly added to them. 1 minute a day on cardio and small increments on the dumbbells. Always keeping to good form. I did not count calories. I hate dieting with a passion. I don’t like refusing myself the good things in life. The sweets, the baked goods, the beer.

Once again I started out slowly cutting out the refined carbs and adding complex carbs. I started adding fruits and vegetables. I started losing fat. I started counting my cal. I was able to lose 50 lbs (now 60 lbs 3/1/08). This came about very slowly.

Each day became a battle, but a winning battle. And like all battles there was a stall. A wonderful word called Plateau. Some time in November of ‘07 I stalled. My weight see-sawed. I hovered between 220 and 218. Each week one after the other. Frustration set in. Hunting on the web, looking for ways to continue the battle. Soon I became battle fatigue. Depression was setting in. My motivation was waining.

So, how does one motivate oneself? I have friends on this site that have given me that push, that smile, which helps me to continue.

I will never surrender. I will never give up.

I am not on a diet; I am changing my life style.

So, here I go.

I remember how painful it was to get out of my chair. The ruptured disk made my life a struggle.

I remember the pain I was in on our vacation to Universal Studios. The tears in my knee brought tears to my eyes.

I remember refusing to buy my uniform pants a larger size knowing that if I went larger I would keep getting larger.

I remember when those same pants were busting at the waist, and I still refused to buy a larger size.

I remember when tying my boots I could not breath.

I remember looking at my reflection at a store window and seeing how fat I was.

I remember refusing to go to the annual dinner dance because my suit would not fit. And I refused to buy a larger size.

I remember the tears so well, feeling the failure at all the attempts of dieting.

I remember feeling no hope at all.

I remember my glucose numbers getting dangerously high, wondering if insulin shots were my next stop.

I remember my blood pressure always being too high.

I remember carrying the work ladder from the curb to the rear of the property, my chest pounding as if I were having a heart attack.

I remember the pain and discomfort working in the air.

I remember counting the minutes to the end of the day so I could go home and rest away the pain.

I remember all this plus so many things that being fat has caused. The pain, the discomfort, the low self esteem the feeling of constant failing.

How does one motivate oneself when this is with them for so many years? I don’t know the answer to this. But I will say one thing.

I will never surrender. I will never give up.

I am not on a diet; I am changing my life style.

I am

I am feeling less pain, I still have the ruptured disk but, it’s no longer a struggle.

I am feeling less pain in my knees the tears are still there but I can go all out on the elliptical with no problems, I may never run again but I can live with that.

I am going from a size 48 waist to an almost size 38. Yes I can fit into a size 38 pants. It’s a bit tight but im getting there.

I am going from a 2XL shirt and having to return them for a size large.

I am tying my boots and I can breathe.

I look into the store window now seeing my big belly going down.

I went to the annual dinner dance and my suit was loose.

I gave up on diets.

My glucose numbers are almost at the non diabetic stage.

My blood pressure is normal

I am carrying the work ladder not understanding why it’s so light.

I am no longer uncomfortable up on the ladder.

I am surprised at how fast time flies

I now come home to work out

My co-workers still can not believe how much fat I have lost. One of the things they had told me was to get new uniform pants before I get arrested for stealing fat man pants.

I am wearing a size 40 pants and size 38 is only around the corner.

I remember all this plus so many things that being fat has caused. The pain, the discomfort, the low self esteem the feeling of constant failing.

I must remember all of this. It is so hard to motivate oneself even after witnessing all of this.

I will never surrender. I will never forget.

I am not on a diet; I am changing my life style.

Wow, thank you for posting that.  You've really given me a push; thank you.  I've tagged this thread "motivation" so I can find it again when I need it :)

I found your post awe inspiring.

I look for the day that motivation is not something I search for or struggle with, but something that has to run to keep up with me.

Be well...

I receive so much joy when other people find inspiration and achieve their goals.

Good luck to us all.

I will never surrender. I will never forget.

I am not on a diet, I am changing my life style.

Incredible!  You are a true inspiration. 

You say it's hard to motivate even after all of your achievements. How about printing this post and putting it on your mirror so you can see it every morning?

How about a before and after picture of you where you can see it whenever you are feeling down? 

I'd think those would be incredibly motivating.

You are certainly motivating the heck out of me!

Thank you for those well chosen words. Even when the goal is very close it's easy to lose motivation..."eh, this is good enough." But your words are true, I am not on a diet, I am changing my life style. I won't go back to being the chubby one again!

This post was amazing, it actually brought a tear to my eye. I really needed this...badly. Thank you. 

WOW! Thank you abner. Well spoken Sir!

Great post... it's almost poetic!

I'm blushing

All of you are making my day

I will never surrender. I will never forget.

I am not on a diet, I am changing my life style

That was just the motivation I needed. It made me misty eyed. You should be very proud of yourself. I'm tagging this to read often.

Each and every day I come back to this post and re read all your remarks. They have given me much pleasure.

214 lbs I believe i finally broke through my plateau of over 2 months. I had been doing the see/saw between 222 and 218 lbs.

I will never surrender. I will never forget.

I am not on a diet, I am changing my life style.

You are amazing.   I have been doing well, but lately while running I have had serious stomach pain.  Despite continuing my jogging routine, I wasn't feeling motivated. 

I will remember your words......

I too will never surrender.  ( :

Some times after a good work out my system is shot. like now. wondering if I should do my cardio or not. We have to listen to out bodies and try to work with it, not through it. I hope your stomach pain is nothing serious and something you can figure out. When I use to run ( a very long time ago) I use to get "stitch" pains in my abs. this was due to breathing to hard. I think it had to due with the diaphragm. I would slow down a bit when you hit that wall. I wish I could give you the answer, but I'm sure you can figure it out.

Rested 25 min, I'm going in for the cardio.

I will never surrender. I will never give up.

I am not on a diet, I am changing my life style.

Abner,

I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering from a bit of depression.  I THINK I know where you're coming from.

I too started my weight loss journey because of many of the reasons you listed.  Tying my shoes was difficult, breathing after short walks was difficult, forget about fitting through turnstiles or in airplane or movie theatre seats.  As for looking at myself, I always averted my eyes when coming upon a mirror or a window that might show my reflection.  I hated myself and what I had become..... an unhealthy, unhappy person who was quickly shortening her life.  In addition, I was so large I had become a society outcast.

Like you, I decided not to diet, but to make drastic life-style changes.  You can read a little about my life-style 'epiphany' on my profile.

In spite of my weight loss success (190 lbs to-date), I too suffer from depression on occasion.  I find that much of my depression stems from lack of patience.  I want to be at my goal weight NOW!  All these months of 'being good,' denying myself comfort food, spending time at the gym...... just to lose one pound in a week (if any), well......  It IS depressing.  But then I stop and look at where I was vs. where I am.  I'm in a much better place now. 

Has the weight loss made me happy?  I can honestly say that I'm much happier then I was when I was morbidly obese and unhealthy, but something is still missing.  I'm hoping that it's a seasonal thing.....  After all, February is fairly well documented as being one of the most depressing months of the year due to the weather and that 'between Winter and Spring' thingy.  I'm really looking forward to warmer weather when I can get more of my exercise outside in the fresh air and sunshine instead of in a stuffy gym.

But I digress!  Congratulations on your successful life-style change.  With the right attitude, you, I and everyone else who has taken the step in this direction will win this battle.  I'm a firm believer that it's mind over matter and if we can keep our focus, then we'll live long, healthy, happy lives.

Peace to you.

Karen

Karen, Thanks for sharing your story here and in your profile. I'm so impressed with the great progress you've made. I'm sure spring will be all the sweeter this year for you.

I carried an extra 40 pounds for a lot of my adult life. My ex was very put off by it so I always thought that if I was thin, everything would be better. I was shocked that just when I lost most of it, our 25 yr marriage ended. Eventually I realized that there were many problems between us and his disgust for my weight was just another sign of the control issues we had. Everything didn't suddenly get better because I lost weight. However, SOME very important things are better and that's why I'm here trying to get back to and maintain my goal weight --to truly embrace a healthy lifestyle.

I wish you and Abner and everyone here continued success in your lifestyle change and in your life's journey.

I am still thanking everyone for their continuing encouragement and kind words.

I was able to break my plateau (from November of 07) and I am down to 213.  I am getting my Motivation form you, all of you keep the kind words flowing.

I will never surrender. I will never forget.

I am not on a diet; I am changing my life style.

 

self bump, hope this helps you.

I will never surrender. I will never forget.

I am not on a diet, I am changing my life style.

Ahaha! That's awesome!

Just a few days ago I got to 205 from 265 back in August! Congrats!

60lbs is a whole 2nd grader! Haha 

ok im a bit slow, it 5 pm it only took me 7 hours to get you 2nd grader line.

My hearty congratulations to you Abner. Keep at it and continue to inspire us, especially someone like me who is on a plateau since early December! 

 oh yeah, I will never surrender. I will never forget.

I am not on a diet; I am changing my life style.