Young Calorie Counters

Welcome welcome. ^_^ My name is Amanda. Pleasure to meet your acquaintance.

If you are part of the LGBTQ community (or if you are straight, you are welcome also), I decided to make this forum for anyone who needs support.

There is so many great sites that offer communication and support between queer youth. www.mogenic.com is personally my favorite site.

This is also a place where you will be able to just BE YOURSELF. That is the most important thing.

I am doing this because when I came out, I didn't have much support. I felt alone. And I don't want anyone to ever feel this way.

I am actually pansexual, which means I love someone for them, not their gender. But I do lean more towards the female sex.

Feel free to introduce yourself. ^_^ And have fun!

so wouldnt that mean pansexual=bisexual?

there are so many categories these days! lol. I've also heard of polysexual, which recognizes that there are more than just two genders.

I myself identify as bisexual, because I think it's simpler that way. I'm 23, married, and very interested in gender issues.

hey, kids!

Original Post by peacelovehominy:

so wouldnt that mean pansexual=bisexual? 

 Not necessarily. Bisexual only covers the male/female genders. Pansexual means that you love male, female, trans gender, gender queer, and people with no gender! ^_^

 And hi feddiechick. XD

hey guys. i like to think of myself as a bisexual who's still in the closet. i find females attractive, but i'd only ever let myself get involved with a guy...so i guess i'm a lesbian in denial?

the thing is, there's just not enough support for me to come out right now. maybe when i move out to some other place, i don't know. but it does feel good to finally be able to say that out loud. the place where i'm at makes me feel guilty even though there's no reason to be. i know society's gone pretty far in accepting all kinds of people, but there's still a lot of pressure...

Original Post by subwaybusker:

hey guys. i like to think of myself as a bisexual who's still in the closet. i find females attractive, but i'd only ever let myself get involved with a guy...so i guess i'm a lesbian in denial?

the thing is, there's just not enough support for me to come out right now. maybe when i move out to some other place, i don't know. but it does feel good to finally be able to say that out loud. the place where i'm at makes me feel guilty even though there's no reason to be. i know society's gone pretty far in accepting all kinds of people, but there's still a lot of pressure...

 Well, I am very glad that you are able to come out on here.

I know exactly how you feel. I had no support when I came out. But when I came out, I was finally ready to be the real me. I have changed alot since that fateful day (it was three years ago in october).

But if you need support, just remember that me and tons of other people are here for you. Have an awesome day. ^_^ 

I suppose I was lucky enough that all of my friends and family new I liked girls before I did! It just took me a few years to be comfortable with myself and to be open to what I really felt deep down, despite what society says is good or bad.

how old are you guys? What areas do you live?

Hi people,

I'm very comfortable with my sexuality status,  but I wanted to post to support others who may need it. I'm bisexual (could be considered pansexual, but bisexual works fine as a term for me) and genderqueer, and married to a guy. I'm 22 and live near Boston.

I came out as bi to my friends sometime in late high school, which was at the same time several of my other friends did. I happened to be in an awesome group of closet queers, so it worked out pretty well. ;-) I didn't come out to my parents until awhile later, after I had met my now-husband, but they pretty much knew already and didn't have any reaction.

I'm also very trans-friendly and knowledgable, since I have a surprising number of transgendered friends, including my best friend. So feel free to be my friend, too!

i'm 16 and i live in canada

I am 16 and I live in Massachusetts. ^_^

over here representing the straights!! woohoo!

The title of this thread caught my attention but I figured I wasn't going to feel comfortable posting a reply because I am married. I was surprised and glad to see that other posters who are married had no problem doing so, which then made me feel comfortable. Ever since I married a guy I feel weird using the title bisexual. I can't help but feel that everyone will think I am a fake... yada, yada... pretty illogical, but I can't help it.

To be honest... I think I actually lean more towards females, but my guy ended up being the exception, which makes everything even more confusing and challenging.

Original Post by lunamagae:

The title of this thread caught my attention but I figured I was going to feel comfortable posting a reply because I am married. I was surprised and glad to see that other posters who are married had no problem doing so, which then made me feel comfortable. Ever since I married a guy I feel weird using the title bisexual. I can't help but feel that everyone will think I am a fake... yada, yada... pretty illogical, but I can't help it.

To be honest... I think I actually lean more towards females, but my guy ended up being the exception, which makes everything even more confusing and challenging.

Oh believe me, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I definitely lead more towards the female sex, but it doesn't mean I won't be with a guy. When I was in a long relationship with a guy, I actually got shunned by part of the gay community. Just because I was in a male/female relationship.

The truth is, bisexuals/pansexuals are discriminated in the gay community. Some believe we are "greedy" and that we can't make up our minds. The truth is, I have completely made up my mind. That I will not be held back by gender. That I will love who I want to love.

I made this forum for everyone. So if you need any support, feel free to ask. And nice to meet you. ^_^

Original Post by wikidlette:

Original Post by lunamagae:

The title of this thread caught my attention but I figured I was going to feel comfortable posting a reply because I am married. I was surprised and glad to see that other posters who are married had no problem doing so, which then made me feel comfortable. Ever since I married a guy I feel weird using the title bisexual. I can't help but feel that everyone will think I am a fake... yada, yada... pretty illogical, but I can't help it.

To be honest... I think I actually lean more towards females, but my guy ended up being the exception, which makes everything even more confusing and challenging.

Oh believe me, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I definitely lead more towards the female sex, but it doesn't mean I won't be with a guy. When I was in a long relationship with a guy, I actually got shunned by part of the gay community. Just because I was in a male/female relationship.

The truth is, bisexuals/pansexuals are discriminated in the gay community. Some believe we are "greedy" and that we can't make up our minds. The truth is, I have completely made up my mind. That I will not be held back by gender. That I will love who I want to love.

I made this forum for everyone. So if you need any support, feel free to ask. And nice to meet you. ^_^

 In a sense I think bi gets discriminated by both gay and straight communities. The gay community may think we are "fakes" or like you said simply incapable of making our minds. While the straight community may also think we're fakes or basically see us as for their own pleasure and entertainment. I am obviously talking about straight males who think they can benefit from bisexual women. My husband has a bit of that and he is quite a pain in the butt. Truth is... I really don't like mixing. I am very monogamous and liking more than one sex does not change that at all. I like to focus on one person only, even if I am with a guy and I can't help thinking about females... I still have no wish to pursue anything. The thoughts and desires are reserved for my mind.

 

Original Post by peacelovehominy:

over here representing the straights!! woohoo!

hahaha...

I used to believe I was purely pansexual...It didn't matter the sex of the person to me, as long as their heart was good and their mind sharp.
Now I realize I am more physically attracted to men, and more mentally attracted to women.
Lucky for me, my SO is an exception to the rule. He's male on the outside, with plenty of male tendencies, but enough emotional maturity and strength that he's not a little boy. There's also a tenderness that I've only found in women before....So I lucked out!

 Truth is... I really don't like mixing. I am very monogamous and liking more than one sex does not change that at all. I like to focus on one person only, even if I am with a guy and I can't help thinking about females... I still have no wish to pursue anything. The thoughts and desires are reserved for my mind.

Agreed! I'm glad I made you feel more comfortable about posting. It is an interesting situation, being bi but in a "straight-looking" relationship. Many people don't understand - they think if you're bi but get married, you've "chosen", and cease to be bisexual. But it's not just about who you've chosen - you will always be bisexual! It's a matter of personal sexuality, attraction and mentality, not just a reflection of the person you chose to marry.

I get annoyed and tend to correct people when they say I'm in a straight relationship. Just because it's male/female, doesn't mean we're both 'straight'.

Original Post by nasuoni:

Now I realize I am more physically attracted to men, and more mentally attracted to women.

Neat! I'm the opposite - I'm more physically attracted to girls, but mentally attracted to guys. My long-standing, significant relationships before marriage were all with guys, and I just had some more casual flings with girls.

wow. What a diverse crowd! are there any boys out there? or, since we're trying to be pc and open to all, anyone who identifies as male out there? Seems like these are all girlies... (not that I have a problem with women...)

I'm 23, recently married, bisexual (pansexual? new term to me. maybe I'm old fashioned.) and in an open relationship. I, however, do not identify as Poly, because I kind of have some issues with the poly community I've come across, so just "open relationship" for me.

I've never come across discrimination from the gay/lesbian community for being bi, but I've ran across so many people who have! I'd really love to find some literature about bisexuality, but all I've found are textbooks written in the 1970s about men who got married then came out as gay, and spent the rest of their adult lives being gay. To me, that just sounds like GAY to me, and not bi, at least, that's how their stories were presented.

so, for you married women out there, what do your husbands think?

I have a book somewhere on Bisexuality, but I forget what it's called. I'll let you know if I dig it up.

My husband has got a bit of the male "bisexuality is hot, I want to watch" idea that guys get from the porn industry. It really pisses me off. I have flat-out told him that it doesn't work that way for me, and being bi doesn't mean I'm a show-off for his entertainment. He understands that, but probably has his secret wishes...

Feddie, it's interesting to me that you have an open relationship, but don't consider yourself 'poly'. I'm not poly, although I have poly tendencies, but it couldn't work for me as anything serious. (Or, if it could, I'm not willing to risk my marriage finding out.) I'm sorry if this is too personal of a question, but if you don't mind satisfying my curiousity, what kind of 'rules' do you have? I.e., 'date whoever you want, but don't involve me'? Or 'date whom you want but DO involve me'?

I know some couples who have dated a third person as a couple, which fascinates but also scares me. I think it scares me because it strangely makes sense. Do you do anything like that, or date separately?

Original Post by feddiechick:



so, for you married women out there, what do your husbands think?

hmm I hate what my husband thinks about it. He pretty much sees it as if he hit the jackpot thinking he is going to have all these wonderful threesomes, which is something I am not at all interested in. Even though I have a great time thinking about in fantasies, simply the idea of turning it into a reality is a turn off to me. A lot of what I imagine in my mind is only sexy to me in my mind. The moment I consider it as a real thing for me or even other people, it stops appealing to me. I am weird that way... I never wanted my fantasies to come true...

So he waits... thinking opportunities will present themselves. He constantly jokes about me approaching girls and bringing them home, or him surprising me and showing up with a girl for me. I don't like that at all. I just want to be with him... that is it. I chose him, and I want to be loyal to him. Sometimes I may think about how it would have been if I had run off with my best friend and traveled the word instead but I chose him, so I don't want anyone else. He reacts to that by saying I can't possible be bisexual.

Summary... my husband is a pain actually haha. In a sense I would have preferred if he had never known about my sexuality as he does not understand that I can choose one partner of one sex and not be jumping at every opportunity I have to have encounters with people of the other sex.

Shoe - Poly sounds great in theory, but I've seen too many people who consider themselves Poly who really just have stunted, shallow relationships and end up hurting themselves and their partners because they confuse being Poly for being really just a lack of commitment, monogamy, looking for the perfect mate, etc. I really feel bad attacking the movement, and I'm sure it works for other people, but like I said, I like to remove myself from that.


I have never believed in monogamy, and it was something that my husband and I talked a lot about when we first started dating. We both were worried about how being in an open relationship would work out, and we had a few hickups and learning experiences along the way, but so far, it's made me very secure in my relationship and in myself.


The rules are - my husband can't tell me who I can or cannot sleep with, or love. It's my body. Not his. None of this "one flesh" bs. Similarly, I can't tell him. The utmost important rule is to be honest! We try very hard to be honest about our attractions to other people, and we DO have attractions to other people, and we talk about it, rather than feeling guilty or denying them! If we sleep with other people, we MUST use protection (oh ew) and let the other one know that it happened. But this does not mean that we go around sleeping with everyone, just because we have the option. We're both kind of elitist and picky, lol, so it disapoints guys when they're like "omg, you're bi and in an open relationship, want to get it on?" Yeah, sorry. Don't sleep with strangers. He is my husband and we have a home together, and a commitment to that home, but things outside the home aren't completely closed off as options. I guess our number one rule is to be honest about everything, and so far, everything else has fallen into place.

Oh, and he doesn't like to share. He wants "one dessert at a time," and me, well... I'm on a calorie counting website, so you can imagine how many desserts I want!

So far, we have not had a third person as a couple. It just hasn't come up. We're open to the idea, but we don't go out and search for it. If it happens, it happens. If not, no biggie.

Phew. What a rant. =P can you tell I like talking about this?

what about the rest of you out there?

Original Post by feddiechick:

Phew. What a rant. =P can you tell I like talking about this?

I like talking about this stuff, too. ;-) And I agree with you about how poly sounds good in theory, but wouldn't work for me. It sounds like you have a really great relationship, though, and I'm happy to hear that! An open relationship is something I've considered, but right now we just need to work on establishing 'us'. As for the future, who knows.

Luna, I completely hear you. :-) My husband has gotten over it, I think, and doesn't constantly make comments or anything, but I know the feeling. Hopefully he'll realize you're not interested - it sounds like you need to be more clear with him about your fantasties not being realities, if you haven't. And for the record, I think a threesome is a very nice fantasy too, but in reality it most likely would be awkward and embarassing.