I'm 20, a junior in college, and I just got married almost 3 months ago.. And I have found that being married is not helping me in my weight loss. Haha. My husband is one of those "I can eat anything without gaining weight, even though I WANT to gain weight (in muscle)" types, and it kills me because I want to be that way. Hah.
But alas, I really need to get in better shape. I've come a long way before I joined this site (from 175-125 pounds) through eating healthier and exercise. I was proud of myself for definitely not gaining the Freshman 15 when I moved away from home! However, I've started gaining some back.. Which is a blow to my self-esteem. I've always been overweight, so it's a sensitive issue with me. My husband didn't know me during my most overweight period, and because he's so fit and in shape, I know I need to keep up. Me being healthier and more fit will improve our relationship (I'll be more positive and confident), and our relationship is one of the most important things I have.
So I've rambled pretty well. Essentially, I'm just struggling because my husband can eat whatever he wants, and he forgets that I can't. We're working on that and trying to shop healthier, though. But another problem is that we're both in school, and because of all that stress, I rarely want to take the time to make healthy meals. So I'm on a mission to find healthy and easy recipes for dinners, especially!
Now I'm done! I swear! My husband is just at work, and I'm stuck at home (my car is dead AND has a flat tire!), so I've been exploring this Calorie Count website for far too long today. Haha.
I've found that I've run into a bit of discrimination being young and married. (Upon finding out that I was married, an advisor actually told me he thought it would be better if I dropped out of college.)
Other people find out I'm married and ask, "Why?" Like it's necessary that there's some preexisting condition (i.e. "baby") for someone to marry before 25.
Anyway, I here ya' on the weight loss. Hubby and I tend to eat junk during the rare free time we get to spend together.
Hey...i'm not married or anything, but i'm also 20 and will be going back to school in about a month, and I stayed with my boyfriend (of over 2 yrs) for about a month and regret pretty much everything that i ate in those 30 days...lol. Because I can feel it now. I've done this calorie count thing for over a week and i'm hopin it will help me reach my goal. I think thats the worst part about bein with a guy. They can eat and eat and eat and not have to worry about anything, and I try to portion myself (or so it feels like to me...lol) and still gain weight.
P.S. Hope your car gets to feelin better :)
Hey I just got married just a little over 3 months ago. In theory I am no longer a student as I "walked" this past May but I was still working on my thesis this semester, which makes me still sorta a student. I'll consider myself a student until I get that damn diploma.
My guy also eats whatever he wants. Even though he is not the kind to encourage me to eat as much as him, I sometimes feel compelled to do it. I mean... it sucks to go out to eat for example, and sit there sipping water while he is eating the appetizer, the salad, the main meal, and all those margaritas. I don't like just sitting there and looking, so sometimes I will do it. Lately, I have actually been good at it... not sure what changed though... What he is really bad though is alcohol. He will sometimes come home with drinks and wants me to join him. He does understand that as a girl I can't eat as much as him and not gain weight, but he has it in his head that drinks don't count. Because of that he sometimes gets upset that I don't join him (since I used to all the time when we were dating). He just doesn't understand that drinks can have such a large effect on weight. For example, I like Smirnoff Ice. A six pack of that is almost all the calories I should have in one day. He doesn't get that... Argh... and the margaritas at dinner... He doesn't understand that the two margaritas he sometimes coaches me to have can be worse than ordering dessert.
Apparently it was my turn to ramble haha. So yeah... what became harder for me was the drinking. After a while he finally got the part about the food but not the drinking.
Oh... I just remembered something else... one thing that I still haven't gotten used to is the difference of serving sized we each are supposed to eat. While I can eat one normal serving and be fine, I need to serve him two servings of whatever I cooked, and even have a more than that ready in case he was really hungry. His big plate of food makes mine look so sad and empty. I'm 5'4" while he is 6'2"... There is no way to avoid the fact that he needs way more food than I do. BOO!
And as far as the food goes, my hubby is an excellent cook, and whipping up a delicious elaborate meal is one of his ways of showing love...so of course I'm obliged to dig in.
Original Post by courtbarb:
hahaha I hear ya' on the drinking! I hang out with a bunch of guys, and I always feel the need to either match or outdrink them.
And as far as the food goes, my hubby is an excellent cook, and whipping up a delicious elaborate meal is one of his ways of showing love...so of course I'm obliged to dig in.
Oh wow... I guess I am lucky that my guy not only does not like to cook but does not like to shop for it. That means I am in full control of what gets into the house and the meals we have. He also prefers it that way because he acknowledges the fact he will eat whatever you put in front of him so he prefers to not have junk food around.
But yeah the drinking... He also refers back to the times when I drink with my friends while I refuse to drink with him. I don't mind drinking when I am out. I often end up losing weight because of the extra hours I am awake and all the dancing or jumping around I might do. I just dont like to waste calories with drinks during dinner. I really would prefer extra pasta over the mango margarita... yep...
Oh gosh, I wish my husband would help me cook more. I get so burned out having to cook every night. He cooks maybe once a week (and it's always steak), and it killed me because he didn't have a job at that point and I was in the middle of writing a 100+ page paper. But ultimately I just need to suck it up and start preparing better meals and managing my stress better. The stress probably isn't helping with my weight loss. Haha.
And I'm glad we're both under 21 so we can't buy alcohol. Haha. We wouldn't drink much ANYWAY.. But it's not something that we need to have around the apartment either. Then again, it's easy to say that now when I can't buy it and therefore don't worry about it. Haha.
And sometimes I eat just as much as my husband, which shocks me. I look at our plates, and I feel so bad that I ate just as much as him! I also need to work on portion control, obviously.
Well, I think I just need to work on a lot of things. But that's why I'm here! :)
Hello,
I'm 23, I got married 2 1/2 years ago and I'm a full-time graduate student & I do not cook for my husband. The way I see it, he has two hands and can certainly do it for himself! Seriously--I cook my own meals & he cooks his. I may cook him a meal like once a month if he is lucky & he cooks for me maybe twice a month if I am lucky. We fend for ourselves, we do not have time and it works out great! I let him know before I we got married that I don't like to cook. It started out all great we when first got married- "I tried to be a good little wifey" and tried to cook at least 5 meals a week and then I said screw it , my sanity is more important and he does have two hands and he does know how to cook! The best of luck to you all!
I do LOVE to cook. That is actually my downfall. When I lived by myself I cooked every single meal as I really don't like leftovers. Now I have been trying to cook in larger quantities to have some left over because he liked having stuff around to just put in the microwave and have it ready in a few minutes. Blargh... I prefer to cook fresh everytime. It is also easier for me because when I cook something I really like, I have a really, really hard time not finishing it even if it involves eating triple/quadruple what I should eat. I don't like the idea of having good food sitting in the fridge; I keep daydreaming about it until it's gone.
Out of curiosity... what are you all studying?
Basically Psychology. I did Psych for undergrad, and Psych - Mental Health Counseling for my Masters.
MHC is a relatively new program - old actually but very new where I am - and people describe it as very similar to Social Work, so we're sorta in the same field =)
I'm studying Journalism (specifically Magazine Journalism, as of now). :)
Original Post by lunamagae:While I can eat one normal serving and be fine, I need to serve him two servings of whatever I cooked, and even have a more than that ready in case he was really hungry. His big plate of food makes mine look so sad and empty. I'm 5'4" while he is 6'2"... There is no way to avoid the fact that he needs way more food than I do. BOO!
I am so with you. I was married for 3/4 of college to a 6'4" eating machine who weighs 180. I am 5'4" and weighed 180 when we got married. I would cook for 4 and feed him three serving to my one. I actually went for the smaller plate thing so mine wouldn't look so empty.
I ended up making up enough for 8 people when I cooked so that we would have healthy food for at least another meal. I would either freeze the rest or put in in the frige for the next day. We where both full time students working part time so i understand the "no time to cook healthy" thing.
He's not one of those people that eats whatever he wants and stays thin... but he does eat whatever he wants. And his "one ___ won't make you fat" comments are hard to resist when I really want that something. That and he really means it when he says he thinks I'm beautiful no matter my weight. In fact when he sees old pictures from when I was bigger he pouts and whines about my now small chestedness. (Used to be DD.. ahh!)
Whenever I do cook healthy and we have leftovers.. Usually my husband eats it the next day, leaving me without the healthy leftovers. Dang him for being so speedy. Haha.
And my husband thinks that I'm beautiful, regardless of my weight, too.. Which is great. But I'm finding I need to work on my self-esteem so I don't argue with him when he says that. I tend to put myself down.
Also, my husband loves sweet things. So he'll buy a box of brownie mix, and it kills me because I want them so dang bad! I love chocolate so much, but I'll have to learn to resist! Or just have one small piece and not overindulge. But I tend to eat if I'm bored, which is terrible!
I'm now 38, but I got married at 22 between my soph and junior years, and I've been there and done that, and failed miserably at managing my weight because of it. Get it under control now, ladies, so you dont end up like I did, finding yourself 80-90 pounds heavier in your 30s. It's so much harder to take off after 30.
Hello and yes! I am a married college student- though I work a full time day job and go to school at night. I was married in May of this year (I am 21 and he is 28) and I understand your struggles. I get the funny look when people find out I'm married too. It's a matter of maturity I think- who cares?!?!?!
It's ironic but when my husband and I met, I was probably the most overweight I've ever been. He didn't seem to care. It wasn't until I wanted to start impressing him that I became conscious about it! Weight still doesn't matter to him. The mood it puts me in does- I workout for my attitude and self esteem, which makes him happier too. It's a challenge for him to always have to build me up, when I should be doing that for myself to begin with!
We just had this discussion yesterday about his junky food habits and my halfway healthy ones. It's a challenge. Today I ate cookies on the couch with him- I hated and loved every bite!!!! Hahaha. At least your DH is fit! He'll help keep you on your toes and hopefully be there to encourage you when it's difficult. I think you should also make sure he knows what a sensitive issue it is to you so he can help in anyway possible!
You're definitely right!
Some thought it was bizarre that I was getting married 2 months after I turned 20 (and my husband was 19!), but when you know it's right, you just know! Plus I was just about homeless then (roommates kicked me out and I had 3 days to find a place to live for the next school year), so the timing made sense for us. Be happy, get married, not be homeless. Haha.
And I agree - it's so important to be building yourself up and not relying on your husband. I definitely rely on my husband too much, and I need to make sure I'm motivating myself. I mean, if he stopped going to the gym, would I let myself stop? That would be terrible!
Good luck to you (and all the young married people here!) balancing school, marriage and having to be an "adult" (ugggh, haha)!
I feel much the same way as you all do! I am not married yet, but I have been engaged for 9 months and we have been living together for almost 3 years, so it's pretty much the same thing! ;)
My fiance eats whatever he wants! He makes it so hard sometimes because he will want me to take him to McD's or wherever it might be, and I have to just watch him eat his 2 sandwiches and fries, while I am eating low-calorie soup for dinner. We also have the alcohol problem. We both love to drink socially and we always have a lot of friends over on the weekends (mostly guys) and I always want to drink just as much as they do! I know that there are more calories in the beverages I am drinking than there are in the food I eat but I like to drink sometimes! It sucks! : (
I do still allow myself to have drinks with my man and my friends on Saturday nights when everyone comes over to my house, but on other nights I am trying to abstain from drinking entirely.
My fiance is very supportive and I know he loves me no matter what I look like, but I don't think he realizes that his decisions about food/beverages/exercise, make it harder for me to make good choices for myself. He told me that he's helping me build my willpower! lol. I guess he's right.
Our most dangerous night is actually Mondays, when "Heroes" comes on. We like to order delivery food and have a sweet dessert to snack on.
It doesn't help that my hubby's two favorite foods are pizza and ice cream.
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