The Lounge

lol ok gotta vent for a minute! I am not ugly, yes im overweight, but not ugly.  Why is it that men would rather date skinny girls who are ugly?

I have had plenty of overweight female friends that had boyfriends and got married and are HAPPILY married. Might I add that their husbands are GOOD LOOKING. It's all about confidence level and how you present yourself. Sure some people only want something specific but then YOU don't want THEM, now do you?! :) Be happy and you will draw good things to you!

It's all about how you carry yourself and how you act. I don't have too hard of a time finding a boyfriend and I'm pretty damn chunky! 

Hi. I'm in a similar situation as you. I have bad luck with women. I really can't say if I'm good looking of whatever. I am bit overweight (used to be extremely overweight a few years ago). But I consider myself to be a really nice and sweet guy once a girl gets to know me.

I've always been interested in those very thin, model-like girls who dress in tiny clothing to attract men. But once I got to meet them, they weren't very nice people. They think they are superior to everyone else. Even the ones that are nice wouldn't date someone like me even if they thought I was a great guy.

But I am no longer attracted to those kinds of girls. At the moment theres 1 girl I'm interested in. She's thin but she's not like the girls I was describing. Infact, most people probably wouldn't find her attractive I guess (atleast my friends). But I do. She has a very awesome personality, we both have a lot in common and she is pretty in my opinion. Thats what matters the most.

Unfortunately I will not meet my goal to lose around 20 lbs. by late August. I would like to lose that much weight so it can give me a boost in confidence...thats something I really need. I'm not very social, especially when I'm around the girl I like.

Anyways, back on topic. I am sure you will find the perfect guy soon. Just give it some time and just be yourself. That's the most important thing. Good luck and take care!  :)

Not yet. I don't think I'm ready yet. We are still getting to know each other. On the last 2 weeks of school, we were more social (not sure how to describe it; but we talked and laughed more). And I'm usually anti-social. lol. Hopefully I'll see her again in school next semester. I think I will. I just hope I have more confidence.

That's true. But it will be extremely difficult to do. Especially if you've never said something like that to a girl before. But I can't live with fear like that forever. But I still lack confidence no matter what. I should stop thinking about the negative.

well i have been fat my whole life.  and have never lacked for prospects or actual bf's.  what i realized is that i, in someway, make it clear to guys that im not available.  and i didnt take the time to see the guys that might be worth it but didnt fufill my own superficial qualifcations.

and i was always afraid of being the fat girlfriend. 

i think yeah, the guys we think we want want tiny girls.  and the we psyche ourselves out of the other guys.   we let ourselves be always the friend b/c we dont think we are good enough for anything else.

and you are very pretty.  let that rule you.  you deserve a hot guy who likes you for who you are--- and eventually you will get it.

I know how you feel. I've never had a boyfriend, but I kinda don't want one until college, I think I have enough on my plate right now. School (when is in secession) and when crew season starts I barely have enough time for homework and it's a sport that lasts the whole school year, I would have no time for a boyfriend. But sometimes I wish guys would look at me the way they look at the skinny girls.

Drea99, I know what your trying to explain to, the guys that seem interested in me, I don't really like. And I can kinda be a little rude because I don't want them to ask me out, I was even talking to a guy before and he started to hint to go to the movies with me, and I cut him off, because I didn't want to have to say no in front of all the people we were talking to. I guess that's not rude though... I guess we're all kinda self destructive. We don't see what's in front of us.

I do have a guy I have a crush on. It's kinda sad though because I would never act flirty or anything to get his attention, to let him know that I like him. I just ignore it, it sort of hurts though when he flirts with other girls. It really sucks actually. But he would never like me, so I'm saving myself the embarrassment.




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I used to think this too.. but really.. its personality... DEAD SERIOUSE! no-one can grow a relationship off of looks.. its just not true... its just.. hallow... empty..

when i met my hubby i was not overweight but chubby - i dieted solid for 6 months and was great for our wedding = put on 7lbs during our honeymoon and over the years i have been married my weight has gone up and down like mad.

no matter what size i was and am he loves me for the person thats within - you are a lovely person inside i am sure .

If it makes you feel better, I'm think, not ugly (atleast I hope not :D) and I've never had a boyfriend. Whereas girls who are much larger than me and, not to be bigheaded, but not as pretty, have had alot of boyfriends.

I think, as stated earlier, it's about confidence. I really lack in this area, oops. :) Plus, why would you want a guy who looks for the weight of a girl and not her personality? Think of it this way - bigger girls get guys who want personality, whereas thin girls get shallow guys. Not always true, but it's one way of looking at it.

I never lacked for a b/f when I was heavier either and now that I'm thinner I'm finding I'm having a harder time of it?! 

But reflecting back I think I was more confident back then than now or at least I played the part well and I was always happy and laughing which helps

I'm over weight and i'm happily married to (what i think) is a good looking guy. I wasn't really over weight when i met him but hell i think that he's stood by me even though i put weight on says a lot about him. 

Don't be silly! There are lots of people out there single and looking. My friends and I each have our own look and our own tastes and they vary so much.

Do you know how many really good looking people with perfect bodies out there that have trouble getting first dates?

who cares! be yourself, your best self. It comes from within and its something you can't talk about or described. You just ARE. and your aura will attact them like bees to honey.

I weighed 220 when my bf asked me to marry him.  I've always had my fair share of guys.

I was always confident and felt good about myself (even though my best friend was one of the typically beautiful, skinny girls).  I actually found that my boyfriends were always better than hers because she attracted the types of guys that just wanted arm candy whereas I attracted the guys that wanted a relationship.  I also found that I attracted the most guys when I wasn't really looking for one. 

Skinny chicks attract men for all the wrong reasons. When a guy sees a hot chick, he doesn't want to date her...all he wants to do is "ah-hem" her...if you catch my drift lol!!

Kelly, you are a beautiful and outstanding person! From talking to you, you have a lot to offer any lucky man - don't settle for just anybody :)

i agree with alwaysthefatgirl first of all. and also, alot of the skinnier girls think they are hot shit, which usually means they think its cool to get with any guy they can. so, while they think guys just love them the truth is guys just love getting with them because they make themselves easy. so, basically, if guys dont immediately jump to try to hook up with you it means you dont look easy.. which is a good thing. it means you respect yourself and your body and they know they cant just take advantage of you. rock on!

Hmm...not to offend anyone, but skinny girls don't just attract guys who only want action. I've been pretty thin throughout my life and of course there are going to be pigs, but that doesn't mean I'd date any of them. Larger girls could be just as likely to have a mean boyfriend who thinks he can mistreat her because she is overweight. Also, thin girls aren't typically full of themselves - in my experience.  MOST woman are self-conscious of their bodies. Thin, small, large, chubby, tall, short...we always find something wrong with us no matter how good other people may think we look.

One more thing that bothers me is that it seems to be a double-standard. Men are superficial if they want a thin girl, but it's okay for women to say they want a 'hot guy' to be interested in them. I have a friend who is 5'6 and 210 lbs, always complaining that guys are so shallow. Yet she is constantly calling men ugly and fat, etc. It's not fair! lol.

Sorry for the rant :)

Good luck to everyone in finding a significant other!

As a guy, i don't judge solely by how you look.  What's important to me is personality and how mature she is.  What good is dating someone that looks drop dead gorgeous if you're constantly fighting because she can't hold a job and pay her end of the bills? 

To me, I date women who are intelligent and have goals set for themselves.  Ones that will respect me for who I am and respect others.  Someone who would stay loyal.  Looks are a bonus, but not required. 

The majority of guys who go after the "hot" ones, are just trying to score or prove to someone or themselves they can have them.  The less mature guy will go after the pretty ones because they'd look good with them in public and no one would make fun of them for dating someone less pretty.

As an adult, I'm past this phase.  I'm not perfect either, but I try hard to make it in life, and regardless of how you look, if you try too, then I'm going to notice you.

if waist size correlated with successful relationships, only size 0 wedding dresses would be sold and you wouldn't see any skinny singletons.

it's all about compatibility and chance. the more you put yourself out there, the better chance of finding someone you like -- and by putting yourself out there i mean, joining groups and communities that fit you, not slutting it up, but that has worked for some.

jessie19...thank you for pointing out the double standard guys face.  girls face a similar one when it comes to sex