Weight Loss

I'm at the beginning of my most recent weightloss journey, but I've done the weightloss thing before and I know how it goes...the reactions can be a double-edge sword.

Suddenly someone is interested in me that I've known and been friends with forever and I find myself thinking...clearly, I wasn't good enough for you when I was heavier.  Likewise, people notice me more, take me more seriously, and I feel like screaming: "I'm the same person!"

So my question is, how are people treating you differently after having lost some weight?  Maybe you're not at your goal yet, but you've lost a least a noticeable amount.

On the one hand, this new me in the world is why I wanted to lose weight in the first place.  But at the same time, I know I haven't changed (I've always been confident regardless of my weight) so I want to dislike the people that are suddenly acting differently.

How has everyone else dealt with this?

 

I've found something similar but I put it down to human nature.  Life's too short to bear grudges and  I'd also be a hypocrite if I said I'd never made judgements about someone on the basis of their appearance or treated them differently as a result.   I think the way I'm dealing with the change is to use it as motivation for not going back to old habits and all that goes with it. 

my one friend Danielle[who i haven't seen in a year] called me anorexic. now i'm not trying to be rude, but she is kind'of overweight, and i'm not anorexic. so, would i say she's jealous? maybe, maybe not. : D

people are always asking my parents "do you feed her enough?" or "did you lock her in a closet?" and I think its rather rude. [I have lost 40 pounds over the year, i am quite proud of myself] I'm not on a diet, i'm just maintaining.

so i would have to say people treat me 50/50 because some people say i look really nice and others say i look anorexic.

xDDDD lol.

 

Original Post by victoriax3:

my one friend Danielle[who i haven't seen in a year] called me anorexic. now i'm not trying to be rude, but she is kind'of overweight, and i'm not anorexic. so, would i say she's jealous? maybe, maybe not. : D

people are always asking my parents "do you feed her enough?" or "did you lock her in a closet?" and I think its rather rude. [I have lost 40 pounds over the year, i am quite proud of myself] I'm not on a diet, i'm just maintaining.

so i would have to say people treat me 50/50 because some people say i look really nice and others say i look anorexic.

xDDDD lol.

 

 exactly!!!

I was out to see a dance performance of a really close family friend when iw as trying to loes weight, (was a good 20 pounds overweight before) and i had just lost most of it and my mom started going around telling everyone i was on a "self-imposed over-diet" talking like i was starving myself when all i was doing is not stuffing my face 1/2 the time -_-. but then other family friends say i look nice now, but i don't know which to believe.

People feel different in different situations and will behave differently.  Even you.  I have the same thoughts as when I was heavier, but now I am more willing to put effort into making what I want happen.  Maybe you are sending out a more welcoming message that makes people feel they can connect with you easier.  :)

The guy that wants to date you now that you've lost weight, I wouldn't totally write him off, maybe he is just not attracted to thicker females, he probably always thought you were cute. Just like some guys prefer blondes to brunettes, curvy over skinny, etc.

my best friend and my parents have written me off by chastising me for not eating .. what they don't understand is how much effort and discipline i have put into running (at least 3 miles a day) and weight training as well as eating right. well they can just suck an egg for all i care

What I don't understand is the way my family acts.  They would never have called me fat or overweight or said you are going to have poor health if you dont start to control your weight.  Now that I am 8-10 pounds from goal they keep saying "you can stop now or How much are you planning to lose?".  I wonder if they even realize that I am at a healthy weight now as compared to before?  Its not like I lost the weight overnight.  It came off slowly and I have tried to be as healthy about it as possible.  I think they have backwards thinking.  sigh...

I think people in general treat you better when you're not overweight.

Most of the time I get comments telling me how much nice/pretty/what have you I look now, which sometimes makes me wonder if they thought I was hideous before.  I try to just take it as a compliment for the most part though.

My parents have made some comments when they see me having a treat day which annoys me a great deal.  We all originally started losing weight together and I am the only one of the three of us who has managed to continuously lose weight and keep it off.  We all started around May of 2007 - my dad managed to lose 30 pounds, I believe while my mom lost around 10 or so.  These days, my dad looks as if he's put it all back on if not more and my mom gained it back as well.  I, on the other hand, have lost around seventy pounds yet they feel the need to guilt-trip me if I want to indulge a little.  It's also frustrating when they (namely my dad) try to give me advice on what to eat especially when they think anything that has "low fat"/"organic"/"diet" on the package is automatically great for you. /end rant.

I find that guys are nicer to me, so far I haven't noticed women treating me any differently, but guys do, and it really bothers me. As much as I like guys checking me out and hitting on me, even my own friends are nicer to me, and it makes me feel like I was a disease when I was fat or something.. =/

People were actually nicer to me when I weighed more.  I guess I was non-threatening.  Now a lot of women (who are usually bigger) tend to ignore me or dislike me right from the start.  People also keep assuming that I am naturally thin and don't do anything to stay that way and never had a problem with weight gain.

Sad but true, the reality is that people treat you much better when you're thinner. Just the way they look at you & interact with you, it's just different.

It's like those talk shows where they have people go "undercover" in fat suits & they report back that they can't believe how differently they're treated. It's true.

Yes, people are DEFIANTLY nicer to skinnier/prettier people.  I can't remember where I saw it, but there was a survey done at some point or another about this subject.  When two people with equal qualifications interviewed for the same job, consistently the more attractive ones got the job!!!

Now, as for this guy.  If he wasn't interested before, DON'T get involved with him now!!!  If he couldn't accept you for who you were, he won't be able to accept you if you change.  If....heaven forbid...you put some of that weight back on...then what??  Will he be there if you get sick and lose all your hair, or have a horrible accident and get mangled?  I'm just saying....

On people treating you good vs. bad:

That's definitely true.  I think heavy people do come across as non-threatening.  I think maybe we're easier to get to know, but often times not taken as seriously.

On old guys treating you differently:

Even if I started dating someone new, who never knew me at a heavier weight...who's to say that he would have accepted me at my previous weight either.  I guess you just have to focus on the other qualities and make a holistic decision.

Must be human nature: your family will always find something to bug you about, while you don't know who your real friends are until you gain or lose weight significantly.

It's interesting to look back now, but back then it also annoyed me when I went from 120 lbs to 90 lbs in six months. I lost my appetite after two breakups in one year. But I also joined a hiking club and would go on 2-3 day treks twice a month. I was pretty sure I was healthy (never got sick and carried a heavy backpack all day), but  my  own family and  some friends (who were all overweight) started bugging me and talked behind my back about anorexia, bulimia, cancer, etc. I finally had to laugh when people started carrying things or opening doors for me because I was so skinny. When I tried to rappel down from a cliff one of the guides thought they should put stones in my backpack to weigh me down because it was windy, LOL. Now that I'm overweight again it's only my family who keep bugging me to lose weight.

Do you think you are acting differently? Maybe this guy never approached you before, but now you're acting more outgoing. Have you been more active lately? Had more to talk about at the water cooler?

just a thought.

i agree with both sides of what people have posted so far.   heck yeah you get treated differently when you lose weight.  and part of it, for me at least, is that i feel better about myself because 1) of what i'm doing to be healthy, and 2) because i see results.  so i'm 100% sure i present myself differently, which is part of it.

i like the positive attention, don't get me wrong, but what i don't like is the increasing number of strange men who leer at me.  you know the type, they stare, trying to make eye contact.  creepy!  and it's not like i'm wearing a miniskirt and halter top... i wear jeans and a tshirt to work.  nothing tight or lowcut, not provocative at all.  and on a dressy day i'll wear sandals instead of flip-flops.  hate the creepy leer-ers.

side-note relating to the leer-ers:  have to say one of my favorite comments from a stranger happened when i was out walking, it was when my weight was on the way up and i was trying to nip it in the bud.  anyhoo, i walked past this little old man and as i passed i heard him say "who said white girls ain't got no back?!"  lol he cracked me up, it was funny.  that time i didn't mind.