Blah, so today i was talking to my boyfriend about my gaining goals, and he replied "exactly how much are you expecting to gain?" so i told him "about 15lbs hopefully" To which he responded "i think you're going to be fat" 
And then he went on to explain how he only weighs 137lbs at 5'11" and that he can't imagine me being almost his weight (I'm 5'7" and 115lbs). We initially started out wanting to gain weight together, but he flaked out because it really is a lot of commitment to calorie count. I've never tried to gain before, so of course I'm nervous like...hey, what if i do get fat?
Has anyone had their boyfriend seem less than supportive of their gaining goals? I know he didn't mean to hurt my feelings or make me second guess my decisions...but honestly! For the first time in my life I'm actually eating the amount i'm supposed to, and i have more energy every day thanks to it. So i'd really like for him to be understanding. 
Right now you need to focus on your own health and your own goals, nevermind what anyone else says. Just push that out of your mind for now. You'll show him when 15 lbs from here you'll be full of energy, fit and glowing with health!
If he keeps dissing you, gimme his address and I'll renovate his kneecaps? ;)
lol that sounds so much like a boy! Obviously he didn't mean anything insulting or negative about it, but was just thinking outloud. He weighs 137 and gaining 15 lbs would make you 130, so he was most likely just doing the comparison in his head. What you should have said was "no, that will make me normal - you, on the other hand, are too skinny". :P
I'm 5'7 as well and I assure you, being 130 will NOT NOT NOT NOT make you fat. Our healthy range is something like 145-160 and I'm trying to lose to make it to 150. You could actually stand to gain 30 lbs and still only be in the bottom end of our healthy range.
Explain all that to your bf - I'm sure he'll be supportive if he knows the facts. And if he DOES actually try to discourage you from gaining weight, throw him to the curb! You don't need that negativity when you've made the decision to be healthy!
Good luck!!
137 for a 5'11" boy is soooooo skinny!! I thought my ex was skinny when he was like 150 at 5'10". You being close to his weight means he is too skinny, not that you are too fat! :)
Dude, I agree..your boyfriend is WAAAAY TOO skinny. Trust me, he needs to gain. And please, do your thing! and if mr. lankly can take it, kick him to the curb and find a new big strong protective bo to hug you and your soft sexy curves!
-S
Tell him to go to the gym and put on some muscle, 137 for a 5' 11" man is twiggish. Does your plan involve lifting at all? If you're concerned about "getting fat", I recommend that you add some weight training to your routine and up your protein a bit. You're going to add fat and muscle regardless, so you may as well use weight training to maximize the amount of muscle you add. I've also found that a muscular body is more energetic. There's a lot of discussion in the fitness forums about building muscle and the concensus in the body-building world seems to be that you have to add fat and muscle, but if you choose the right foods and ratios, you can minimize the fat gain during the process. I recommend:
1) Baseline your current activity and calorie needs, start eating a surplus towards gaining a healthy rate, maybe 1/2 lb per week, no need to rush.
2) Add some weight training and track your activity, eat more on weight training days and less on off days (even just 2 days a week is fine to lift).
3) Focus on eating healthier. I was telling my wife the other night that I find it tough to eat enough on lifting days (usually I need 3200 calories) because I try to limit myself to healthy foods. I wind up having to throw in protein bars and supplements to get there along with the chicken, whole wheat, even measuring out the olive oil on my broccoli & carrot balsamic vinegret salads.
4) Be patient with your body and yourself. Everytime you change things, your body is going to respond and then adjust. You may see a jump in weight followed by a loss or vice-versa.
Here's an example of one discussion - that "melkor" is a great resource and has read a lot regarding lifting & nutrition:
http://caloriecount.about.com/forums/post/108 042.html
Good luck!
Yup, that sounds a lot like a man to me too. << Sorry gents. If it's any comfort to you, though, my boyfriend-now-ex bailed on me completely. I'm also having to put up with lots of "Finally, your legs look bigger now"-type comments from my dad. REALLY smart thing to be saying to a recovering anorexic, really...
Don't let him shake you, though. You're doing this for yourself and have said already you feel more energetic and better for it - remember that! [: And you won't be anywhere near fat at 130. I agree with DS in trying weights alongside gaining though, as it'll build muscle up. Keep it up! :]
After reading everyones posts and thinking about it, i think he's probably just..threatened? I mean, obviously he has problems of his own with weight maybe he's just scared to be underweight with a healthy looking girlfriend. I talked to him a lot about how much it means to me to be making this life change and i think he's warming up to it, i wish he'd join me in becoming healthy, but that's something he has to decide to do on his own. Most of your posts made me laugh >< and feel much better about pursuing this.
ds! you really put a lot of thought into your post, and weight training is certainly something i'm interested in doing, so i will definitely take your advice. And when i finally get into a healthy range i want to start training for runs! My brother and sister both do marathons, and triathlons and i would love to join them. I tried to train for a 10k with them 6 months ago and failed miserably because i lacked the stamina and strength. So I'm getting more and more excited about meeting my goal weight and being able to do the things I've always wanted to do.
Before college I was really an active person - tennis, track, running around babysitting (it really is a work out)! When I got to college, I really wanted to join crew - my school has an amazing walk on crew team. My now-ex-boyfriend, however, said that he didnt want me to join crew because it would make me a "buff" girlfriend. Quote - "your legs are already too big." I didn't join crew and regret it now because I ended up gaining like 20 lbs.
Next semester I am joining crew. Hah.
Original Post by adelephant:
i wish he'd join me in becoming healthy, but that's something he has to decide to do on his own.
This is true, and the best thing you can do for him is what you're doing now. Start getting yourself healthy and put on some weight. When you start filling out and getting some amazing curves, he's going to get jealous, and fast! My guess is he'll join you at that point - especially when he sees healthy, muscly men checking you out lol.
Good luck!
Original Post by theswissmiss:
Before college I was really an active person - tennis, track, running around babysitting (it really is a work out)! When I got to college, I really wanted to join crew - my school has an amazing walk on crew team. My now-ex-boyfriend, however, said that he didnt want me to join crew because it would make me a "buff" girlfriend. Quote - "your legs are already too big." I didn't join crew and regret it now because I ended up gaining like 20 lbs.
Next semester I am joining crew. Hah.
lol. Boyfriends are dumb...>.< Join crew! i have several friends that row and they really like it. Your arms will be buff like madonna's, i'd love to have buffness like her's. Goodluck!
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