Got invited to a get-together

Diet Forums : Health & Support (Library)

Got invited to a get-together		empo
		Jul 24 2008 12:45
This family from the mosque invited a bunch of people over this Sunday night, and I said I'd go because I didn't want to be rude. Now I'm freaking out because I know there will be food there, and I know I'll look like a weirdo if I don't eat. It'll all probably be Indian food, which I LOVE, but which freaks me out big time now. I need to know exactly what's in stuff, like it has to either have a label, or it has to be something simple enough that I know the calories/fat/protein by heart, like fruits, veggies, etc. I can't fathom eating something where everything's all mixed together in unknown amounts. And there's lots of oil in everything >.< For those of you who struggle with restricting, how do you get through parties and stuff without drawing too much attention to yourself?

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#1	gi-jane	Jul 24 2008 14:26
Why not treat the occasion as an opportunity to overcome some of those fears you itemise? Indian food is delicious, you're right. It's also good food so you could give yourself permission to 'not know' the content for once and enjoy a small amount.... if you try to relax you might surprise yourself. Otherwise, you'll either stay at home panicking or you'll go along but feel miserable. Are you getting counselling or other specialist services for your phobia? "Not drawing attention to yourself" isn't going to resolve it.
#2	empo	Jul 24 2008 16:00
No, I'm not getting any professional help at this point. I know it's silly, but I have to get to a certain weight before I'm "allowed" to get help. I did go to a support group last night, because I guess I don't see it as something so official, you know? Thanks for the advice. I'm sure I'll figure something out as it gets closer to Sunday night :-\
#3	bubbas4x4gasm	Jul 24 2008 16:14
I have never been to the type get-together you mention here, but I don't believe how much food everyone eats is going to be the big talk. You seem to be on the right track by wanting to stick with your diet. Just remember that foods with gravy or sauce will likely be high in calories, as will fried foods. Smaller portions are easier to digest than larger ones. Hope this helps and remember to have fun.
#4	gi-jane	Jul 24 2008 16:35
You're actually all the support you need if you only knew it. When it comes to phobias the 'cure' is controlled exposure to the trigger. Avoiding the thing you're frightened of only makes it worse. You can do it.... good luck.
#5	weathergal	Jul 24 2008 22:42
Been there before... it's hard because I felt slightly empowered by NOT eating in front of people. As I got better though, I realized that people truly truly do not care what I do/do not eat; it was only me who cared, thus making it a big deal. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad or anything because I think that is normal! Just to let you know they will not be judging you based on what you put in your mouth! I think you should 100% go and put a tablespoon of each on your plate. Just have a little, and then make sure you make the rounds and say hey to everyone. Have fun! People aren't there to eat - they are they to socialize, but happen to have some food around. Another idea is to offer to bring a dish yourself - and pick something that you know has the nutrients your body needs for and also makes you comfortable!
#6	empo	Jul 25 2008 13:40
This just in: my car won't be done in the shop until at least Monday, so there's no way I can drive the 25 minutes to the shindig. It's kind of a relief.
#7	kajikit	Jul 26 2008 15:09
Empo, the very fact that you are so relieved that you 'don't have to go' to this thing says that you really really NEED to do it if you possibly can. Phobias don't go away because you've run away from them... and believe me, I KNOW. Nobody's going to be watching you eat or staring at you... and if you go along and don't eat anything at all, nobody will even notice. But staying home won't make you feel any better in the long run - it just makes it harder to confront the fear the next time the opportunity arises because it sets a pattern of avoidance. Is there any way you could get someone else to take you to this dinner? Take a cab? Catch a ride with your neighbour?
#8	empo	Jul 28 2008 12:43
One of my friends ended up driving me, and I had a really good time. I did want to go for the socialization aspect of it, so it worked out well. It was awkward during the meal, but otherwise it was a great night :)
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