Motivation

We were on the South Beach diet together for over 2 years... we lost over 30+ pounds each and felt great. We both had new energy and felt good about ourselves.

I was in a size 12, sometimes a 10, after years of being in 16-18s. I was working a stressful job, which now that I think about it, may have helped me take some of the weight off... no time for snacks and such, but it wasn't difficult for us to stay on the diet because of the wide variety of choices it allowed. We were happy!

Then, my husband had a heart attack... he came through it all just fine, but he did feel a need to make a change our lives. Recently retired, he decided we should do some traveling in our RV, and head out to California to spend some time.

I quit my job and off we went. That was the last of our diet...

There are so many wonderful restaurants out here to choose from that we went crazy! I tried to be careful,  and because I really love salads, vegetables and fish, I thought that I could hold it down, but I find that the weight is creeping back on.

When I told my husband I wanted to get us back on the diet, he rebelled! He is so bad about sabotaging me too... he loves all the bad stuff, but shouldn't be eating a lot of junk foods due to his heart condition... most times that doesn't stop him though.

He will come home with Grandma's homestyle cookies to have with coffee in the morning and bring some for me too. He brings me Ben & Jerry's 'Chunky Monkey' to have at night when we watch movies! I would rather have yogurt for breakfast and a little popcorn with my movies at night if I need a snack.

He also loves hot dogs, pizza, hamburgers... and if we are out and about and its getting late, he would rather grab a quick bite out than wait for us to get home so I can cook something nutritious. I can't put all the blame on him, sometimes I just don't feel like cooking so its easy to sway me, but I am finding that my clothes are getting too tight and at our age, over fifty, it's not easy to get the weight back off.

How can I get both of us motivated again to get back on our South Beach plan?

Please don't take this the wrong way; I mean no disrespect toward your husband at all.  But don't you think (or rather, doesn't he realize) that after having a heart attack, pizza and burgers isn't exactly what he should be eating?  If anything, that heart attack should have been a wake-up call to start following a healthier diet.  I understand wanting to travel more and live life to the fullest, but if he doesn't eat right (at least most of the time) there might not be much more life left to live!  So my point is, maybe you could approach the topic from the perspective of his health, implying that you want both of you to be healthier so you can enjoy your lives and your travels together for years to come.  If that doesn't work, then, as hard as it is, you might just have to rely on plain old stubbornness and willpower.  Just don't eat the treats that he brings home.  If he sees that you eat your yogurt and popcorn even after he's brought you ice cream and other junk, eventually maybe he'll get the message that you are in this for life and health, whether or not he is on board.  I hope his helped and that it doesn't seem harsh.  I really wish you the best of luck.  You are doing the right thing--trust yourself and stay strong!

I will start this just like the previous one. Please dont take the wrong way, but if you want to lose weight, you have to do it for you. I understand you want him to for his health, but you cant lose it for him. My husband is also overweight, extremely and could care less about losing it. Both of his parents have had heart attacks and he does not seem to care about getting in better health. But on the other hand I do care, and I refuse to give in to genetics or as he says, if I gotta go, I go. How stupid is that? I am losing weight for me,and my health, and my children, if he does not want to all you can do is to try to set a good example for him.

No offense taken and thanks so much for the input!

My daughter is being a big help to me right now... she is also dieting trying to lose the weight after having baby #2. She is offering much support, and I hope that I can set an example for my husband. I think he may get back on board with me when he sees that I am serious about losing this weight gain. After all, we finally got our little granddaughter to spoil and I want to be around for a long time to come. I'm sure my husband wants to see her grow up too!

Thanks for the advise and the encouragement!

Awww yea momma!  :)  You're absolutely right about Bella bean, after all you're the only one who can show her things like "Yaya's magic garden"!  Lord knows my "green thumb" is better referred to as "the kiss of death"  Hehe.  I can barely keep a cactus alive!  ;)

It wouldn't be fair for her to miss out on the BEST grandma & grandpa she's got!

I'm sure daddy will follow suit if you just keep turning down the naughty food.  A donut party isn't much fun when your hand is the only one in the box!

 

Why is it so hard to get men to eat healthy?  My husband is not much better.  He supports me by not getting junk that I like and eating it in front of me, but eats waay too much of his favorite garbage.  I also get the long suffering sighs and eyes rolling when I refuse to eat things that are not on my diet.  Then he complains about being overweight.

South Beach is a pretty extreme diet.  Perhaps it is not a good one for your husband.  You might encourage him to just count calories and eat healthy, but stuff he likes.  Also, a lot of people on this site watch their diet carefully during the week but have one 'cheat' day or meal where they can eat what they like.  I do that myself because I could never completely give up sweets.  At our age, we are not really on a diet.  We are changing our lifestyle.  If we have to eat like this for the rest of our lives, we have to be able to enjoy it.

"Why is it so hard to get men to eat healthy?" This could be the Oprah in me coming out, but men don't feel the same social pressure to be thin and attractive as women feel. Especially older and or married men.  And I agree about trying a different diet, and maybe even staying away from the term "diet." That word has connotations of deprivation. There are tons of healthy delicious alternatives to hamburgers and hot dogs. Try cooking at home more and becoming more active together. Walking, swimming. Any way, GOOD LUCK!

First thing to do: stop letting him sabotage you.   Let him know that you are trying to eat healthier and you would like him to be supportive.  If he offers treats, refuse and remind him (kindly) that you'd like him to be supportive. 

Second thing: encourage him to eat healthy.  I do this for my husband very carefully . . . I don't tell him what to eat, but I do compliment him when he makes a healthy choice.  I don't buy him food that is bad unless I'm specifically asked - and after I've explained why I don't think he should eat that.  Ect., ect.  The most important thing you can do is be a good example.