just wanted to day im here for ya, no advice, i had a crap day, cried to my mother bc she finished the damn salad, im almost 25 and i cry over this crap and get called insane and yea, in the ED recovery post, no advice, im sorry youre upset, but think of it this way maybe, hopefully some of waht you ate will indice your period, so youre doing a good thing really!

Hey lilminie- I think that we have bad days on the same days, because I have had an awful day today too! I was eating more cals to prevent a binge, but today I went CRAZY with food, and Im too embarassed to say how many calories I ate. More than enough to gain 1.5 pounds :( :( :( (sooo saddd)  

I know that out of control feeling, it is like thinking, "how in the world could I ever starve so long and not give in to these cravings like I do now?"  I know I could not even go two days without eating, how could I ever go weeks?

Hun, let me tell you from experience, when I started eating more I obsessed about exercise, but it just made me hungirer. After two weeks of  2-3 hours a day, I was burned out. Please do not stress your body hun, it is not worth it and you will wear yourself out quickly. Dont get started down another path of obsessive behavior that could become a big issue.

I do not know what weight looks best on you, but 100 pounds is TINY! I thought in recovery that I should be 110 at the MOST, but I didn't get my period unitl uppper 120's! Maybe you are losing your hair and not having a period because your not at a natural weight. Please do not be scared to gain weight if that is what it takes to get your body working its best again! You deserve to live the best, healthist life possible, and I have learned that comes at being at a higher weight sometimes. :)

Agruskin- You will have those days! I have broken so many plates/glasses during my ed. I have dumped plates of food on my mothers head and thrown soup on my dad. I have thrown food out the car window when my parents weren't looking, etc. After crazy bouts of fear and anger, I always took time to look at what was really bothering me and grew a little each time. Don't get too discouraged! Jess

liveforgod-thanks.  everything is a learning experience, just annoying to have a low moment after feeling as if things had been going well and improving.

I had a terrible day eating-wise as well.  I ate healthy all day, then I went out drinking til late in the night and had the munchies like a mad woman around 2:30 in the morning and nearly double my caloric intake for the day by eating lots of pizza and banana bread.  Today I ate well, but I didn't exercise which is still driving me crazy, because it's the only thing that makes me feel better when I don't purge.  It's been 3 days since my last purge though, and I'm giving it my strongest effort this time to recover from my 2 year struggle with bulimia nervosa.

I know EXACTLY how you feel about not having control over the situation, and the desire to eat normally. 

While it truly does help hearing from you guys and getting so much awesome support I still feel so lost & frustrated.  I hate the constant feeling of being hungry.  its kind of hard to stop thinking about food when my stoamch is always growling.  I'm eating over 2000 calories every single day at this point.  Actually most days i eat more like 2200.  And I still feel hungry.  The only time my stomach doesn;t feel empty is when I've eaten TOO much.  It's almost as if there is no in between for me.

i feel the same way some days too... like i will try to eat 1200cal and be incredicbly hungry so i eat more (which is the right thing to do) but end up feeling like a complete loser, like i have no self control

i dont eat normally, and i don't know how anymore... my friends eat when they are hungry so sometimes only a few times a day but maintain their weight... and I am eating like 5-6 times a day always trying to eat a certain amount (about 1600-1800cal) and they ask "YOU'RE EATING AGAIN??!! HOW DO YOU STAY SO SKINNY?"

bah, it's so annoying... it makes me feel good like 'haha i can eat a lot and not gain weight' but at the same time I know it is only because I eat a lot of non-high fat/cal food so I can eat more...

some days I try to restrict, but I get so hungry and eat more later and usually in junky food.. and feel like a failure

i don't think these ed thoughts ever go away... what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, how much to excersize, calories in calories out.. on and on... it doesnt end

perhaps you don't recover.. but manage

I've never had an ED but I know a few people who have, and I've followed the recovery/triggered posts on the forums because I find it such an amazing thing what the mind will make someone do.

But what I have noticed is that binging comes with the territory of an ED. Especially for those who have a history of restricting. This is just another web of the ED that you have to learn to cope with, and you have to realize that your not alone.

But you ARE in control. You have to find that control center of your brain and sort things out for yourself. don't hate yourself for eating a little much and dont freak if you think youve eaten too little. The extremes are what makes an ED an ED. Stay away from extremes, don't restrict too much and don't binge eat! And if you do, don't turn to the other extreme to straighten things out!

Everything will be ok. You just have to remember that there is MORE to life than ED, food, weight. Enjoy your life, dont spend it worried and afraid.

i know how u feel i felt the same way, and i sometimes still do. i keep telling my self that ill stop eating tomorrow and that ill never recover. but you can control how u act!! so even if u have alot of food u can always excersize even though u said that you dont want to over excersize but just keep up the excersize with the food. and remember to have many meals instead of separate big meals because continuous meals keep u full which is great 4 ur metabolism!!!! that way u can eat and not gain i hope some of this is gonna help!! and trust me i felt exactly what u were feeling last week!! dont let the ED control u: u control the ED