Motivation

I went to a local grocery store to buy a quick lunch.  Ended up buying some fresh fruit and a Lean Cuisine.  The man at the checkout actually said this to me:  "Good choice.  Better than what you could have gotten at the other end of the store" (and he gestured toward the bakery).

I'm wondering if I'm being paranoid or was he making a remark about my weight?  (I'm 50+ lbs overweight).   Would he have said this to a thin person? (I doubt it!) 

Have you ever experienced this type of behavior from clerks about what you buy?  What would you have said in response? 

 

it might have been about your weight, but rather than assuming that and making yourself bitter over it, why not assume that it was an awkward attempt to make conversation?

I agree with pg.  I tend to be cynical about that sort of thing and I, too, would have thought he was making a rude comment about me.  Maybe he just rang up someone who came through with lunch from the bakery.. Who knows.  When things like that happen to me I get annoyed and make some little comment like 'yea' and avoid eye contact, leave ASAP then try to forget about it. Probably not the most construtive way to deal with it.

I'm not bitter, pgeorgian.  Just curious how others respond to comments like this.  

Did he say this in the middle of small talk or was this the only thing he said? If that was all he said, he obviously doesn't know how to make conversation or hasn't been socialized properly-so yes rude! I think people need to be more concerned about themselves instead of others especially when your opinion is not asked for. Next time you should ask if there's something wrong with the food over in the bakery or something (play dumb and roll your eyes at him). I am saying it now but I am sure I wouldn't have been able to come up with this comeback at the time.

 

I haven't really been asked this by a grocer per say but when I went out with a few co-workers after work for dinner a coworker suggested I stick to eating rissoto- this was rude. I didn't order it.

you posted this twice why?

because I put it under the wrong heading the first time. 

Link to responses in WL Forum

http://caloriecount.about.com/forums/post/107 558.html

If you worked in a grocery store all day then you would probably understand why he said that. Maybe he was also just commending you for making a good decision. Some people would take that as a compliment. I work in a grocery store and you would not belive all the poor food choices I see everyday. I would love to pass out calorie count business cards to more then half of my customers. Not to be an insult to their size but a wake up call to their unhealhty life style. I think you are being very paranoid.

It's weird, the SAME thing happened to me just the other way around. I was too running into a grocery store to get fruit and some other nice but healthy stuff and I was told by the chick that took my money: "You better go to a bakery next time, seriously, eat a sandwich!"

Aw, so loverly...

I responded (totally annoyed about the lame "eat a sandwich" remake) "well you better eat one less!" and ran off. Sure that won't help you. But I thought I share :)

Thanks, everybody, for your comments. 

 

I wouldn't have taken offense to it.  Think of it this way......if you are overweight, you pretty much know it.  There are thin people who believe they are overweight, but by someone else's standards and by medical standards, may not be.  But, if you are truly overweight, then you pretty much know it. 

Although you may have perceived him as thin and thought his comment was rude, he may perceive himself as overweight.  If he truly was overweight, it was probably just a "hey, we're in the same boat" type of comment and not meant to be hurtful. 

Don't dwell on it.  Either he didn't mean it to be hurtful and there is no point over dwelling on it.  Or, if he did mean to be hurtful, then his biased opinion probably isn't worth much anyway. 

Thank you, morrow1191, that was very insightful!   

I think I would have chatted about how horrible it is how many calories breads can have and hidden sugars and that kind of thing.  I mean, after all, he was basically complementing you on making healthy eating choices. :)

Who knows?  Maybe he is also trying to lose weight or eat healthier.  Maybe the bakery was HIS weakness!  Honestly even if I did think he was making a remark about the kind of food I was buying, I would have laughed about it and maybe admitted my weakness for french bread and butter.  I would have admitted how proud I was for resisting it.  Maybe my own struggle would have given someone else the strength to resist as well...

I used to work in a grocery store, at the customer service desk. I used to watch the cashiers ringing up cart after cart.  It gets boring quick, and all they tend to see is the food.  It's a rare (and a good) cashier that looks up and speaks to the customer before asking for their money.  Maybe he was new and was trying.  Maybe HE likes lean cuisines.  Maybe a hundred scenarios...

Safiyah

I think you should have taken the poor man on face value rather than try to interpret some subtle, deeper meaning.  If you'd been buying baked goods and he'd suggested you should put them back and get a Lean Cuisine or some fruit then I think you'd have cause for complaint...  LOL!

Seems they almost always comment on my food when I get "themed" related foods in a fairly small overall amount.

I am sure the clerk meant nothing by it and was likely a poor attempt at complimenting your good choice of foods.

Not to turn it around. Do we feel more paranoid when a non-overweight person says something that is possibly insulting verses when an overweight person says it?

Everybody has great posts, but, as a MadTV'er, I think of the situations like "Buying a Car" or "Sexual Harrassment At Work".  While they are two extreme examples, I think of them if a comment is made at work or if I slip a comment and then realize they could have taken offense.  Like this "larger" lady came in and asked for water at the restaurant where I work at, and I said, as I tend to say, "Healthy choice; we also have sugar free lemonade, which is fantastic."  And she seemed to be bothered by it, and asked to speak with the manager.  And the manager spoke with me later, and I explained that it wasn't a "fat" comment, it was a "suggestive selling" comment, and I didn't get in trouble, but I had to go apologize to her.

So I always have to go into thinking about what I say before I say it.

I disagree with most of the comments here I think. In general, it is extremely rude for a grocery store clerk to make any unsolcited remarks on the items that you are buying, unless you specifically asked for advice or help-- and you would typically do that in the back of the store, say at the meat counter or some other specialty area. Excepting I suppose if the clerk noticed a bunch of mold on your bread selection, then that might be an appropriate reason to comment and offer to grab another loaf.  

You're right javagen3, clerks are not supposed to comment on your purchases at all. Just like at the library, they aren't supposed to comment about the books you're checking out, unless they enjoyed the book, too. It may or may not have been meant rudely, but unless he was saying something like, "Oh I like this meal. It's really good" I don't think he should have said that.

You never know with comments like this.  Did he sneer?  What was his tone?

I guess I would have thought that he was just trying to make conversation.  He probably sees people buy junk food for themselves and their entire families all day long.  It was probably nice to see someone who actually cares about her body.