Health & Support

i need support...  i CAN'T STOP binge eating.  i'm not overweight.  i'm 5'3" and around 110 - 113 lbs, depending on the week.  but i FEEL FAT.  i feel disgusted with myself most of the time.  and, when i see myself in pictures, my face looks fat (even though my body doesn't). 

and, when i see pictures that make me look fat, i start to binge eat.  anything i can get my hands on.  and i will eat and eat and eat and eat.  it doesn't matter how full i feel.  or how sick i feel.  i can't stop myself.  it's weird--  it's like, when i feel like nothing i do is working and i look fat, i want to binge.

and i CAN'T STOP THINKING about food.  even when i lay down to sleep, that's all i think about.  then i binge more. 

i need support...  i don't know how to stop.

On a regular day that you don't binge what do you typically eat?  There are two main reasons people binge: the first is for emotional reasons and the second is because they aren't enough or aren;t eating properly.  Judging by the fact that you say you binge when you see pictures of yourself you're probably doing it for emotional reasons.   You should try to change your behavior patterns and replace exercise with the binging.  When you see a picture that you don't like tremind yourself to get up and move instead of eat.  Try to use it as motivation to look and feel better rather than eat.

i know what you mean. i can't stop binging either. i might go a few days eating good, but then i just cave and binge and hate myself. it usually happens when i'm not on a set schedule because i can't stand not knowing what i'm going to do so i just turn to food. i don't know how to fix it but hopefully it's just a phase that will go away.

I went from anorexia to binge eating, and the bingeing is getting progressively worse.

I really think that it's just like breaking a habit, becuase bingeing IS a habit. You train your body to think that bingeing will fill some hole inside of you, but really it makes you miserable.

So I've got myself a killer support system, and they watch over me. I got therapy twice a week, Church and youth group on Sundays, and my parents try not to leave me alone (my mom is actually TAKING THIS WEEK OFF of work to stay home with me.)

It's an embarassing thing to admit, but once you tell someone, and ask for help, it will get easier. And after a week or two of not bingeing, it will cross your mind less frequently. I once lasted 7 weeks!

I know you can do this. Remember you aren't alone.

You need a doctor.  What you're experiencing is disordered eating behaviour.  It sounds like there's an element of depression ... people who 'feel fat' and 'disgusted' with themselves for no reason are often already at a low ebb mentally.   And 'when nothing I do is working' means maybe you undereat the rest of the time in an effort to slim down which triggers the binges and also the low moods?  So do go and talk to your doctor.  Even though you're not overweight or underweight it's your mental state and your behaviour that's of concern and they will be able to help you.

gi-jane, if you read my post in the fitness forum, you will see that I am suffering from a similar problem. people advised me to go and see a doctor or a specialist. I am wondering if there is an eating disorder specialist??? how can I find it???

HELP

I've done a lot of binge eating at purging over the past 2 years and I feel so hopeless when it comes to quitting. Even thoughts of food have consumed me.  I never stop thinking about food...and while I'm eating...I think of when I get to eat next.  I can't stop thinking about what other people are eating...and not only thinking about the calories I'm consuming, but how many they're consuming.  I am a purger too, and today is the first day in a long time that I didnt throw up.  I don't know if you have any experience with that, but I totally know what you're going through with the binge eating. I'd love to help in any way I can.

Safina1....  I don't know what the health provisions are where you live but in the UK the help usually starts with the local GP.  If they diagnose a problem that they can't treat in situ they can refer the patient to the right specialist support service.  Having said that, services for eating disorders and other mental illnesses are still rather patchy

lilminime: if the OP does have a disorder, replacing food with exercise is crazy. People with disordered eating can also develop an addiction to exercise.