Motivation

Dear Fat,

I am sorry to inform you that your lease is coming to an end and that we believe it is time for you to vacate the premises. We've had a long-term arrangement, you and I, even friendly at times, but all good things must come to an end, and it is now time for this working relationship to end. You have brought neighborhood property values down, and have polluted the neighborhood for the last time!
Consider this notice. You are no longer wanted here. Please pack up your bags and prepare to be evicted.

Sincerely Yours,

Management

I love it!!  I think I'm going to have to evict mine as well!

Can we have a dance party after it vacates the premises? 

woo hoo!  Block party every body

dusts off disco ball...

Oh boy, I can't wait to get that riff raff out of the neighborhood! It's a little overcrowed, ya know?

HK What are the legal standards in your area - 30 day notice? ;)

If due to unpaid rent, maybe less...

Please forward to my fat....

I'm intrigued and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

:-D

No one likes "tenants" who always "hang out".

:D

OMG that's funny shizzz. Putten a smile on my face. Congrats on kicking the free loader out and best of luck on your lighter path to inner happiness.

That's hilarious!

I think I'll write to mine and evict it as well!

Awesome letter! I've never thought of that. I might have to steal that idea for my blog.  

hahaha.

i will write a letter to mz fat

hkellick...you are very creative and have a great sense of humor... if we cant laugh in life at ourselves what can we laugh at...that is a great eviction letter..You definately got a smile out of me on that one...

That made me laugh :D

That is hilarious.  I am going to have to write a letter to my fat too.  Dear Fat, Get the h*ll out of my life.  You used to love me and clung to me like a best friend.  You used me for your own selfish gain.  You hung on me and made my pants tight.  You caused others to look at me and mistreat me.  You were really not my friend. 

David

Funny thing...  I never even invited it!

Oh that is a great way of thinking about it! LOVE IT. If you no longer want the fats to remain living on your property and damaging the land value, there are two strategies to get them to leave:

1. Stop feeding them extra calories, they are like raccoons and deer, if you feed them they will hang around your yard waiting for more.

2. You can distrupt them by litterally shaking them off your property. Play some loud music, move around a lot, and they won't want to hang around any longer.

..........and I'm so thankful it's only a lease!

I love that too.  That's awesome.