Pregnancy & Parenting

Any single moms out there...I would love to talk with you.

I am having some issues, related to meeting new guys, and moving on from my son's father.

So, let me know if you are out there....PLEASE :) !!!

Lol, my husband announced he was leaving in late April, a few days later we were sleeping together and when he moved out we started "dating" and planning to move back in.  Today he announced he doesn't want to move back together and doesn't want to see me "that way" any more. 

Boo hoo.  I would like to know how to move on as well.  I never, ever thought I would be calling myself, "single mom".  I'm fully in love with my husband.  He just doesn't feel in love with me. 

Been married 11 years, mother of 8 year old.  He actually believes that Mom and Dad will get back together because of the way we interact. 

Really?! Ugh, men.

My son's father and I started dating six years ago....had our son almost 4 years to the date of our first meeting...and he left us "officially" (?) a year later (last year).

I am lucky my son is so young, because I am sure that he would think we might get back together by the way that we can interact with each other, too.

Y'all were together so long, I imagine it will take you a while before you can move on. The relationship really has to be severed (imo) for someone to move on. Which is almost impossible when kiddos are involved. My ex has had a girlfriend for a little over a year now (he left me for her/her kid) and I am just now meeting a guy that is holding my interest.....I lie....I like him :)

Funniest thing about my situation is that now that my ex knows I have kissed another guy, he is all 'I wanna make us work!'

Yeah, I posted my story in my latest journal entry (because it does affect my eating and exercise) and some friends are telling me he'll come back if I don't want him. 
I kind of tried that in a half-arsed way but I guess I'll do it for real.  Not in a mind game sort of way but really make the break and do my own thing this time.  

What makes it complicated is that we're really making sure to play nice to avoid hurting our son.  But in the process we're confused by our own feelings and our son will be really confused when Fall/Winter comes around and we're not moving back in together. 
But in the long run, he'll know we tried our best and we did it for him.

What is important for kids to see is you being civil to each other.  It is important that you not talk badly about your ex to your children.  Nothing beyond that is required.  Treat your ex like a co-worker that you are not especially friendly with, nothing more.  Putting the child in a position where he/she has to choose between parents is very damaging.  Seeing parents being really friendly but not wanting to be 'together' is confusing.

Dating and relationships are hard for single, custodial parents.  You will meet up with people who don't want to marry into a family, and so drop you like a rock when you mention kids.  You will have problems finding some to take care of the child while you date.  Then there are complications if your child becomes attached to a boyfriend/girlfriend and you break up.

When I was single, I met guys using online sites.  Then I chatted with the guy for a bit before actually meeting.  I don't know if this model is still available, but it worked for me.  I never ended up with a date with someone I met while out with my children, so I found that you really have to make an effort to find someone new.

And Mrs. Dagle, move on.  Find new interests and make a life that YOU like.  It is real nice for him to be able to be free to date and still know that he can have you any time he wants.  Great for the ego too.  You have been put on a shelf.  Get off it and start having fun.  It will make you a more attractive person to your ex and the new guys you will meet.