Pregnancy & Parenting

Last night the 3 kids (sons 11,5 who share a room, daughter 3.5 in the room next to them) went easily to bed and all three were tucked in by 745. The problem is they didn't stay tucked.

Normally they go to sleep fairly easily but not last night. 3 y/o was running to boys room, 5 y/o was running to daughters room, 11 y/o was yelling to me everytime "mommmm, he/she's not in bed". Every. Single. Time. And it was often.

I finally went up and asked my daughter if she wanted me to put up her old baby gate (expecting her to say no). To my surprise she said yes, so although she wasn't sleeping, at least she was in her room.

My sons would not settle down (it was mostly the 5 y/o instigating it), so I told him if he didn't calm down, the oldest one gets to sleep in my bed, and sent him around to mine. The youngest one never likes this so I figured he'd settle down. He did for a bit so I sent oldest one back to his bed and then it started up again.

It ended up with the boys being grounded from video games for today, and after the threat of them losing even more days, they finally went to sleep. It was 10.

As lengthy as this is, I left out a whole bunch of stuff (for example, at one point I asked my daughter if she wanted to go on the naughty chair, and she said yes. What on earth do I do with that! lol)

Thank goodness it's not like that every night!

Well, I don't know the circumstances of the day leading up to that, and I don't know your schedule, but 7:45 seems a little early for an 11 year old's bed time.  Yes, I'm putting our 5 year old to bed at 8pm, but our 7 year old even gets to stay downstairs until about 8:20 or so (particularly now that school is out).  Of course, you need to do what is right for you, though.

I would be looking at factors leading up to bedtime (as that is what really affects whether or not my boys "stay put" once they're tucked in).  Did they get enough exercise or activity during the day?  Did they eat any sugary foods (even natural ones like fruit) just before bedtime?  Were they engaging in any roughhousing or active play just before bedtime?  Were they watching any TV just before bedtime? 

With my boys, I've found that any one, or combination, of those factors will cause them to stay up way past a "normal" bedtime - especially the TV.  It's a general rule in our house that there's no TV 30 minutes before bedtime - I've found that it stimulates them to the point that it's like they don't know how to shut their minds off for sleep.

I've also implemented sort of a "relaxing" routine before bedtime for our boys.  TV goes off, I put on some slow classical music, and we either read, or gently stroke their backs.  They do get a snack, but it has to be a very low glycemic food so their blood sugar doesn't spike.  (Actually, my 7 year old has developed a liking for chamomille tea - go figure...)

As for your daughter responding in the positive to go to the naughty chair - LOL - that sounds like my 7 year old when I ask him if he's trying to get sent to his room.  In that case, don't send her to the naughty chair - it would be giving her what she wants (an opportunity to be out of her room).  It woudl be good to look at what might be contributing to the heightened level of activity, but if your daughter absolutely can't go to sleep, perhaps you can provide some toys / activities she can do in her room by herself - you could recognize that she's just not ready, but still letting her know that it's bedroom time.  I've never heard of a child that will stay awake out of spite - she'll eventually get too tired to stay awake.

I understand the rant!  My 5 year old doesn't have issues too much anymore, but my 7 year old comes down a minimum of 3 times after tuck in (which is good - it used to be 8 or 9).

I hope this helps - good luck!

OOOO, don't I remeber those days.  As annoying as they are you will miss them one day.  Mine are now 21, 19, and 15.  The 15 year old is still still very active sometimes I just make him go outside and take a run!  Literally, I'll tell him go take a run and don't come back til you've gone at least 2 miles.  Which for his age is not very much but the idea is to get him out of the house! I could ask you a mess of questions like "how much sugar are they eating? Are they getting outside for a good amount of time every day?"  But truthfully, even when we do everything we can to help "tire them out" there will still be those days!  The best we can do is what you did - take away privileges but at 3.5 they don't get that yet.  It's too far ahead they can't think that far ahead.  They live in the moment!  They only have the here and now! 

My daughter was just the same way.  She was the typical cartoon; you know the one where the child is sitting in the naughty chair and the captions reads  "I may be sitting on the outside but I'm standing on the inside."  No matter what punishment I would find for her (even up until 16 or 17) it didn't matter to her.  If she was going to do something she would do it consquences didn't matter.  At least before or during the act!  Afterwards, she would be miserable.  One thing I learned though, be careful what you say in these moments because what ever you say you need to follow through!  If it is going to be unbearable for you to enforce the punishment then you need to remember not to come down so hard!  It is one of my worse mistakes because letting up on a punishment gives them the go ahead to act worse the next time! 

Anyway, all that to say I remember, there are many others out there living the same thing.  Keep on going! Soon you'll wonder where the days went!

I am living it right now. We have a good routine but my DS is no where near ready for bed at 745...perhaps more like 10.  I wish my DS would go to bed and stay in bed. 

 I can put him in bed, cuddle, read a book. Get up to go get water and he'll run to to the lving room..or hide under the kitchen table.  This goes on several times until he finally passes out.

 This week I am going to institute the "Bed time Fairy" for my DS. Every night that he goes to bed and stays in bed without troubling his dad or me the Bed time fairy will bring him a sticker to put on a chart.  If he does it for 5 nights he'll get a treat the next morning. :) 

I don't usually do these types of systems but sometimes my DS needs some incentives.

santonacci, they usually go to bed at 8, but I had them in a bit early. The oldest one is allowed to read in bed for an hour (he loves to read!)

Leading up to it, here's what I think may have contributed to the problem- my daughter had a late nap, so wasn't very sleepy. She has an assortment of books she's allowed to look at. The rule for her is she doesn't have to sleep but she does have to stay in bed.

Not sure what was going on with my 5 y/o, could've been the tv or sugar, as they had dessert from supper just 2 hours prior. And they all do lots of running and playing throughout the day.

A definite part of it was the arrival of Daddy home from work about 20 minutes before they got in bed.

pjlittlefr, I know what you mean about time flying, it seems like yesterday that I was putting them in cribs! My oldest starts middle school next fall and 5 y/o will be going on the same bus to kindergarten!

Good luck to you as well weddingmama- I know what its like :

Original Post by queenmedia:

A definite part of it was the arrival of Daddy home from work about 20 minutes before they got in bed.

 Ooooh - I'm willing to bet that was the biggest factor, right there.  They could have been so exicted to have Daddy back home, that they wanted to be around him.  I've actually gotten that from my 7 year old after I get back from a business trip - how can I refuse a plea like "but I missed you Mommy!  I want to be with you"  I can't let him stay up all night, of course, but I give him the few extra minutes, and promise him some special "Mommy time" the next day (baking cookies, etc.).